It is the dead of night at Kent State University. The campus is quiet, the lecture halls are empty, and the doors are locked. Usually, this is a sign to go home. But tonight, we have a faculty member, specifically the director of the School of Health Sciences, who believes that a locked door is not a security measure, but a personal insult. Instead of calling a janitor or campus security, she dials 911, treating the emergency line like a hotel concierge service. What follows is a slow motion car crash of a career where a woman who has spent 28 years in academia tries to debate her way out of a breathalyzer test. She invokes her tenure, her husband's surgery, and even the self-driving capabilities of her Tesla as if they are get out of jail free cards. Now, if you're ready to watch someone take a basic, "Hey, can you help me get back in?" Call and turn it into a full-blown master class in how to torch your professional reputation in public while casually referencing her Tesla as the designated driver. and then later returning to the police station to chat as an academic about her arrest like it's a grad seminar. Go ahead and hit that like button for emotional reinforcement. Because what you're about to see isn't just confusion. It's the kind of delusion that makes you tired. And you're not even the one getting arrested. >> 911. Where's your emergency? >> I'm at Kent State University. I need to get into my building, please. >> Okay. Is this an emergency? Can you look up the non-emergency number? >> I need to get into my building, please. >> Okay. I need you to look up the non-emergency number and contact the Kent State University Police Department. >> I need to get into my building, please. >> You need to contact the Kent State University Police Department. This is not an emergency. >> What is it? What is it? I need to >> get up, ma'am. I'm going to let >> I don't know what I am the school director of the School of Health Sciences. Show you my driver's license, which is in the car. Can you get me into the building, please? I can go pee. >> Sure. Do you have anything to drink today? >> I had a drink. >> You had a drink? >> A drink? >> Okay. Cuz I can smell a little bit of alcohol on you. >> I can smell a little bit alcohol. That's fine. You can >> Okay. 3:28. I'll take a back. >> I had a drink in my colleague's office. That's fine. >> In your colleague's office. >> Where was that at? >> In the annex. >> 337. >> How'd you get over here? >> I walked. >> You walked over here? >> Okay. I'd like to give you a couple tests just to make sure you're good to go cuz I don't want you driving if you've been drinking. >> Sir, I'm fine. >> Okay. Well, I can I can smell it on you and you're not able to use a card to swipe into the door. So, it's a little This is not working. This is not working. Can I Can I go pee, please? >> Well, here's here's what I'm saying. You're trying to swipe two cards at the same time, which kind of shows me you're you're lacking some motor functions. I I wouldn't want you to >> Can I Can I go pee? Can I pee, please, please? >> Yeah. Here, I'll let you in to pee real quick and then we'll talk. Okay. Do you have someone you could call? >> My husband. >> Okay. Do you want to go pee first and start working on calling him? >> No, I don't. This is not okay. >> What's not okay? that you're going to call my husband. >> No, you're going to call him. >> I'm fine. >> I don't think you're okay to drive. >> I think I'm okay to drive. I have a Tesla. >> Sorry. >> Just cuz you have a Tesla doesn't mean you it's not going to drive itself. >> Sir, I'm going to call your captain in a minute. >> That's fine. You're not going to drive out of here. >> You're not going to be okay. >> Is there a bathroom back here you're using? >> I'm sorry. >> Is there a bathroom in this office you're using? >> I'm going to go over there. I'm the school director at the School of Health Sciences and I'm going to be okay. >> Okay. >> We're in office 100. >> Sir, I'm okay and you're going to be okay and I'm going to report you. >> Okay, that's fine. >> I'm fine. >> Okay. I I just need you to call somebody for me before I before I go. >> That was fine. >> She's too far. >> Okay. >> So, she said she said she walked here though, but she's planning on driving home. She's okay to drive cuz she has a Tesla. I said, "No, you need to call somebody." Okay. So, I don't think you can get out to the parking lot that way. >> Yeah. She's trying to swipe like two cards at the same time to get in. No, you're not driving home. Okay. >> Tesla's going to drive her home. >> Yeah. I was like, just cuz the Tesla doesn't mean it's going to drive itself home. >> Even if it is one of the self-driving models, you can't. >> OVI laws are not caught up to that. >> Where'd she get drunk? She's still wearing all of her stuff. She said her colleagues office at the annex. Well, she's calling out a window. I mean, the window there's definitely windows right there. I can see you're in her office that call right now. >> I'm going to call Gabby. You're harassing me right now and I don't appreciate it. >> No, I'm just making sure you get home. Okay. >> I'm going to be okay. >> Okay. I just I just need to make sure you call somebody here cuz I don't want you driving home. >> Um I'm going to call Captain G Getman from Kent. >> Who's that? >> The captain of of Kent. If you don't leave me alone. >> What's his name? >> Captain Gman of Kent. I'm going to go to the bathroom and you leave me alone. >> I'm just going to give Mike a call real quick and just let her know what's going on. >> Go in the bathroom and you leave me alone. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to go to the bathroom. You have to leave me alone. >> We're going to stay here. >> I'm missing a best part that's out there. >> It fell down out there. >> Yeah. He's going to leave me alone and I'm going to go home and go pee and you're going to leave me alone. >> Okay, but you're not going to drive. >> I'm going to drive home. >> Okay, ma'am. You're not going to drive. >> I'm driving home and you're going to leave me alone. I'm fine. And you I I have water in my car. I'm fine. Leave. >> I don't care if you have water in your car. If you're >> My husband is in Shaker and he had surgery and I'm fine. >> Ma'am, I understand that. >> Do you want me to walk? I'll walk. Walk? >> Nope. >> No. You're going to leave me alone. My My husband just had surgery and I'm driving. >> Sir, you're going to leave me alone? Do you want me to take a breath? I'll do that for you. >> Nope. Don't have one. >> What? >> I don't have one, >> sir. You're going to leave me alone. >> I'm fine. I'm going to the bathroom. >> Okay. >> You have no right to not let me drive home. >> Actually, it is our job to not let you drive home if you're intoxicated. >> I'm not involved. >> It's literally our job. >> Okay. You are going to leave me alone. I'm going to call the Kent City Police right now. >> Okay. >> Feel free. I will. I I worked I have worked. You You can leave me alone. Look, I could not get in the building cuz you locked my building. >> We didn't lock your building. It locks automatically. >> So, we did you a service by letting you in here. >> Okay. I I could have driven home with with my cabin. >> So, can you can I can I go pee, please? Cuz >> I never told you you couldn't. Go ahead. >> Jesus Christ. I've worked here for 28 years. >> I understand. She's pretty fired up. Did she ever go to the bathroom? Let her know. She said, "We're going to leave." She's going to drive home. Yeah. >> What? What's >> What is your problem, >> ma'am? I just really need you to call someone. >> Okay, I will call someone. >> Cuz you can't drive home. Okay. >> Okay. Why do you think I can't drive home? >> Because you're intoxicated. >> I'm not intoxicated. >> I can tell you are. >> Why? >> Several reasons. >> Good. Your speech indicates that you're intact. Well, >> I can explain it to you if you want. >> I'm I'm driving home. >> No, you're not. >> Have a good day. >> Please call somebody. >> Okay, I will. >> Okay, >> I'll call somebody. >> Can you do it right now cuz we got to go. >> Okay, have a good day. Thank you. >> Okay, >> thank you. >> Ma'am, this is your last chance to call somebody. >> Okay. >> Hey, do you understand that your Tesla driving like the self-driving function doesn't cover you for OVI? >> I just want to No, I just I just want you to understand. Do you understand that? >> Yes. >> Okay. >> So, can you give me my other card back? That's >> I don't have your other card. >> I'm not intoxicated. >> Well, I think you are. >> I'm glad you think I am, but I'm not. >> You can have a good day. Thank you very much. >> Okay. Can you call somebody for me? >> Sure, I will. >> Can you do that right now? >> I will. My car. >> Ma'am, listen. You've you've you've been here a long time. Please don't tarnish your own reputation by doing this cuz we are going to arrest you if you try to leave here and drive your car. I promise. Like, you're going to be arrested and that is not what we want to do. So, my husband is home. >> Okay. You said he just had surgery and he can't drive, right? >> I'll call Captain Captain Gman right now. >> There there's no Captain Gitman. Okay. >> He's here on my phone. >> Okay. Well, call Go ahead. >> There's no Captain Gitman that works for Ken. >> He went through Kent City. >> No, he doesn't. >> Bye. Have a good day. >> Oh, explained it all you could. >> Yeah, it is. It is what it is at this point. >> City police officer. He reports to you. >> That's not accurate. >> It is It's totally accurate. >> Your call has been forwarded to an automatic. >> All right. Do you have all the stuff you need? >> First phone. You got your phone. >> You got everything you need. >> Please record your message. >> Captain Gman, call me back. It's Ellen Glickman. Um, >> you have a lanyard on your right side under your jacket if that's what you're looking for. >> Nope. I'm looking for office keys. You guys me up. Thank you. >> Are you going to be able to call anyone for me? >> No. You are you >> okay? >> I'll take this one. >> No, you will not take my phone. >> All right. Well, right now you're under arrest. >> I'm calling I'm calling my husband. Stop. Just relax. You're under arrest. I've made my decision. You are under arrest. I'm calling my husband. Put your hands behind your back. >> No. I'm pulling MY HUSBAND. STOP. LET GO OF MY RIGHT TO DO THIS. I DO. >> I'M PULLING my husband. Stop. I'm calling my husband. >> Too late. >> Stop it. YOU HAVE NO STOP IT. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THIS. LET GO. >> MA'AM, YOU'RE GOING TO GET HURT. Come on. Just relax. >> I'm calling my husband. Stop this. You have no >> Too late. We have a responsibility to do this. Not Not just a right. We have a responsibility to make sure. >> You You did not do a breathalyzer. >> I don't need to. We can your your the way you're acting. >> I'm sorry. You have NO RIGHT TO DO EXCUSE ME. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO I'M SORRY. You did one. You did not do Miranda. We don't have to do >> Excuse me. Excuse me. My hus EXCUSE ME. MY H EXCUSE ME. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW. EXCUSE ME. STOP THIS. STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. STOP. Excuse me. >> You want to stand up? >> No. No. Take my phone right now. >> We'll come get it. >> Stand up, >> sir. Take my phone right now. >> I'll grab it. >> All right, >> sir. >> Walk. >> Sir, >> walk. What's up? >> You have no right to do this. >> I do. >> No, you don't. >> I already walk. >> No. No. >> Walk now. >> No. No. You have no right to do this. >> Walk. >> This is [ __ ] >> I agree. >> I I completely agree. >> I'm calling my husband. >> Wish you would have before. Can >> you please call my husband right now? >> I don't. No, I can't. >> Can you please call him? >> No. >> Can you please stop? >> STOP. JUST WALK. >> ALL you got to do is walk. >> No. No. Call him right now. >> No. Don't act like a child on the side of this road. Walk to the car right now. >> This is ridiculous. >> This is I'm sorry. >> Stop it. >> I'm really really sorry. >> It's okay. >> You're walking to this car right here. >> I'm walking to my >> You're not walking to your car. You're not driving home. >> Can you please call my husband? >> No. >> No. I'M REALLY STOP THIS. Call my husband. Please call my husband. >> Stop. Can you call my husband right now? Right now. >> You can call him when you're being booked. >> I'm not being booked. >> Can you call my husband? No. Please, please take my cell phone. I'm really sorry for being an [ __ ] >> It's It's not because you're being difficult. It's because you're drunk. >> I'm not drunk. >> You are? >> No, I'm not. Take my phone. Please. Please take my phone. >> I already have your phone. >> I'm I'm sorry for being an >> It's It has nothing to do with it. >> I'm I'm being >> Regardless, it has nothing to do with it. >> Can you take these things off of me? No, I'm being Take these things off of me right now. Right now. Guys, guys. Guys, I'm being a I mean, take my phone right now. Right now. >> I already have your phone >> right now. >> Go ahead and have a seat in the car. No, I'm not. Yes. Sit down. >> No. No. No. No. >> Yes. >> No. Guys, take my phone right now. >> I have your phone. >> Take my phone. >> I have your phone. >> I have my phone right now. >> No. >> No. Please. Guys. Ser Seriously, >> can I have my phone right now? >> No. You can't have your phone. Sit down. >> PLEASE CALL HAR. >> THAT'S WILD. >> HELLO. >> Hold on a minute. >> Thank you so much. >> Thank you so much. Sir, I've worked here 28 years. Can I speak to somebody who's worked here a long time? Because >> Hold on. We're going to walk this way. This way. >> Can I speak to somebody who's been here a long time, please? >> You can speak to somebody in just a minute. >> Sir, I'm really humiliated and upset. I that's why I tried to explain it to you so we wouldn't have to go through this. >> You take this off me, please. I'm not going anywhere. Please take this. >> We will in here once we get in here. Come in here. Take a right. Take a right. >> I'm not doing this. >> You're not doing what? >> Whatever you want me to do. >> You're not going to do whatever I want you to do. >> No. >> Well, then you're not going to come out of your cuff if you're not going to do what I want you to do. >> Been here 28 years. Can you please >> have a seat? Have a seat. >> No, I'm not having a seat. >> Ma'am, have a seat. I don't want to make you have a seat. Water. >> I know who you are. Yeah, I know who you are, too. You having a rough night? >> No, I'm not. I I'm fine. Everything's good. >> Can you take this off for me, please? >> Hello. How are you? I'm good. She's still up and down agitated wise. I strongly recommend you just taking her home instead of letting her try to drive. She's going to try to go back and drive her car. >> Um, we've explained it to her a lot of times. I appreciate you coming out. >> Yeah, for sure. >> I will, if you want to come wait in the lobby, I will I'll bring her out to you. >> Here's your date. Okay. Here's today's date. Here's your um your charged disorderly conduct. And it's because of intoxication. This is the important part down here. Your your court date. You're going to come out here and take a right. >> Hey, dear. Come. Let's go home. >> Thanks, sir. Thank you. >> All right. Have a nice day. >> To truly understand the unraveling of Ellen Glickman, we have to step out of the streets and into the faculty lounge. The place where coffee is strong, egos are stronger, and somebody is always circling back. This isn't just a drunk woman. This is a woman suffering from what I can only describe as tenure track delusion. From the very first second of the 911 call, she establishes her hierarchy. She doesn't simply say she's locked out. She announces she's the school director. Psychologically, that's a huge tell. Her identity isn't connected to professional status. It's basically glued to it with industrial strength academic tape. So, when the door doesn't open, she doesn't experience it as a mechanical failure. She experiences it as a narcissistic injury. The building isn't malfunctioning. The building is insulting her. The card reader is in her mind committing workplace insubordination. And that's why she calls 911, not because it's an emergency, but because she genuinely believes the emergency systems of the state exist to facilitate her convenience, like a concierge desk, but with sirens. She treats the dispatcher and the officers not as law enforcement, but as subordinate staff members who are failing to provide adequate customer service. When the officers arrive, her motor skills betray her immediately. She's trying to swipe two cards at once, a phenomenon I'm labeling intoxicated autopilot. Her brain remembers the idea of entering the building, but the alcohol has severed the connection between intent and execution. It's like watching someone try to operate a vending machine using pure confidence. Yet, her ego refuses to accept what her hands are clearly confessing. She keeps insisting she's fine because, in her worldview, a director of health sciences cannot possibly be the drunk lady fumbling with a lanyard like it's an escape room puzzle. To admit she's intoxicated is to admit she has lost control. And for someone who likely micromanages a department calendar down to the minute, losing control feels like a fate worse than jail. Now, let's head to the law library because Ellen attempts to introduce a fascinating, if completely legally bankrupt, defense regarding her vehicle. She claims she's okay to drive because she has a Tesla. In other words, officer, it's fine. My car has a computer. Let's be crystal clear about the law regarding autonomous vehicles in Ohio and virtually every other jurisdiction in the United States. There is no self-driving exemption for DUI or OVI offenses. The law requires a vehicle to have a sensient, sober operator capable of taking immediate control. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration classifies these systems as requiring full human supervision. Autopilot is not I'm allowed to be hammered. It's don't look away from the road for more than 2 seconds or you'll meet a guardrail. By admitting she plans to rely on the car to drive her, she's essentially confessing to reckless operation. She's saying out loud, "I am not capable of driving, which is basically the foundational element of an OVI charge. You don't get to outsource sobriety to a touchcreen." Meanwhile, the officers are operating under community caretaking. They have not seen her drive yet, so technically she hasn't completed the crime, but they have reasonable suspicion that she's intoxicated based on the odor of alcohol and her slurred speech. And they're doing what good officers do. They're desperately trying to stop the bad decision before it becomes a tragedy. They are frantically giving her offramps, begging her to call someone, so the night ends with embarrassment instead of a mugsh shot. She has the option to call a ride and sleep it off with no paper trail, or attempt to drive and face a DUI. Instead, she chooses the path of resistance, forcing them to arrest her for disorderly conduct by intoxication. Essentially, a form of preventative detention allowed under Ohio law to protect intoxicated individuals from harming themselves or others. This wasn't the police looking to ruin her life. This was the police trying to stop her from turning a parking lot into a headline. And psychologically, this is where the profile becomes textbook. Ellen is a classic helprejecting complainer. She creates a double bind for the officers by insisting she must leave while simultaneously refusing every lawful method of doing so. When they suggest calling her husband, she claims he had surgery. When they suggest calling a friend, she invents a Captain Geon who doesn't exist. Like she's summoning a character from a rejected Marvel screenplay. She brings up her husband's surgery not to gain sympathy, but to build a necessity defense. His condition compels me to drive drunk. It's a moral justification for immoral behavior dressed up as responsibility. It's the academic version of I know it's wrong, but I have reasons. When the handcuffs come out, she shifts gears into passive resistance, refusing to stand or walk. That's not confusion. That's a power play designed to regain control by forcing the officers to physically manipulate her. She wants to transform the arrest into a spectacle, casting herself as the victim of brute force rather than the subject of a lawful arrest. She's trying to manufacture a narrative where the officers are overreacting instead of responding to a person who won't stop escalating. And she keeps repeating her 28 years of service as if tenure grants diplomatic immunity, genuinely believing that her seniority at the university outranks the badge on the officer's chest. In her mind, I'm a director, therefore the laws are negotiable. But statutes don't care about your faculty bio. However, the true spectacle doesn't end on the roadside. It continues days later in the police lobby, which is where this story goes from messy to astonishing. Most people, after being arrested for public intoxication, would hire a lawyer and disappear into shame, silence, and maybe a long walk with a big iced coffee. Ellen does the opposite. She returns to the police station to debate the officers. She walks in stating she is an academic who likes chatting and revisiting things. That right there is a defense mechanism called intellectualization. When someone avoids uncomfortable emotions like shame and guilt by turning the whole thing into a discussion, a debrief, a symposium, she wants to revisit the arrest not as a criminal defendant, but like she's peer-reviewing a faulty study. Let's talk methodology, she implies, while ignoring the entire don't drive drunk premise. She attempts to rewrite reality by claiming she wasn't drunk but sleepd deprived and citing PTSD from previous relationships. This is minimization and false equivalence. She's trying to blur the lines so the officers doing their job becomes just as questionable as her trying to drive while impaired. And the lieutenant's response is perfect when he states there is no reason to have a conversation. He denies her the academic forum she craves. He refuses to let her turn a police station lobby into office hours. He realizes she isn't there to apologize. She's there to grade their performance and hand out a failing mark like she's holding a clipboard. Ellen Glickman's downfall is a tragedy of intelligence without wisdom. She's clearly books smart, Ph.D. HD, school leadership, the whole resume package, but she lacks emotional intelligence and situational awareness. She famously quoted on social media that most people do not listen with the intent to understand. Yet for 15 minutes, officers begged her to understand she couldn't drive, and she refused to listen. She treated the law like a faculty meeting, something she could filibuster, debate, and override with seniority. But the street is not a classroom, and the police are not your committee. The laws of physics regarding alcohol and cars and the laws of the state regarding DUI statutes do not care about your CV, your titles, or your LinkedIn endorsements. She wanted to be treated like a director, but instead she was treated like every other intoxicated person making a dangerous decision and she went to jail. Her return to the station to chat was the final nail in the coffin of her credibility because it showed that even after sobering up, she still believed she was the smartest person in the room. It's a harsh lesson that you can have three master's degrees, run a department, quote inspirational posts all day long, and still fail the most basic test of adulthood, taking a cab when you've had too much to drink.