raise your hand if you've ever been betrayed by a friend and then lost that friend but it was a difficult process I can't believe that I'm saying this but I think we might actually have a lesson to take from Trisha Paytas I know I'm not kidding this is this is groundbreaking but if you're skeptical just give it a few minutes of the video and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about but first I feel like I have to give a little bit of background here for you guys that aren't up to date on Colleen Ballinger and Trisha Paytas Jesus Christ so Trisha Paytas is a person that has been around since the dawn of the internet I cannot remember a time that I was not seeing this woman's face over the past decade she has been a menace in a controversial figure when Obama got into office like it kind of reminded me of the things I did remember about Hitler um that was a that was really bad Trisha she would never had never from but in fact she taught us a new model where if you have so many scandals and all of them are so bad depending on your moral compass people will eventually be like well that's too much to remember I guess we'll just see what she's doing now which is really what happened if you look at her Tick Tock or you look at comments or any things on her YouTube channels it's like wait did that not happen I feel like I get gas lit by Trisha paytas's own Community but something that's happened in the past year is Trisha got married and she also had a baby and apparently she's been doing a lot of work on her mental health now I will say this a lot of the stuff that Trisha has done is crazy Hitler can't be all bad if he had this big following right I have seen many or many people change after they have a child I have seen full-blown alcoholics quit drinking I've seen men suddenly become family I don't know I see Miracles every day I don't have a baby I don't know what it is but y'all really be changing once you're like wow I have a little tiny version of me that really needs my help and it's kind of like me my little boy looks just like Daddy sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't but based off the video I'm going to show you I feel like Trisha has had some kind of growth in her mental health and I urge you to at least give this video a little bit of a chance on the other hand Colleen Ballinger had what I would actually describe as a pretty squeaky clean reputation in YouTube over the past 10 years until recently a lot of uh unsavory activity that she had with her fans as well as ways that she portrayed her character online I don't know if you guys heard about this but the whole premise of the Miranda Sings character is essentially a disabled girl that has some kind of relationship with her uncle and all of us were sitting here with these videos getting millions of views and nobody noticed because her audience was predominantly children and here's an adult saying like this is not only fine but it's funny a little weird right she went through years completely unscathed in the YouTube Community with nobody really noticing this activity but what essentially happened was her inappropriate relationship with fans are what brought the whole history to light and now what has mostly exploded in the past couple of weeks as I'm sure many of you have noticed is her uh theater kid apology to very very serious accusations when I saw the thumbnail and she pulled out that ukulele I almost called the police just a disclaimer for some of you guys we know that this kind of started about two years ago when people first started talking about it but it's just really exploded recently just a few weeks ago Trisha Paytas and Colleen Ballinger came together to start a podcast it's interesting because it was very reminiscent of Frenemies but it's probably because Trisha Paytas had a lot of creative control and she likes to dress up as funny little characters I don't even think they made it through two episodes before the podcast was essentially canceled because of Colleen's allegations seems like behind the scenes as you'll hear in this video so Trisha and Colleen tried to talk about the issue but Colleen lied to her face it's an interesting video because I saw the beginning of it and Trisha is able to articulate almost unselfishly the Betrayal she felt how this affected her how it affected her community how it affects her career moving forward she empathizes with the victims that had their trust broken by Colleen and what's shocking about it is um in my opinion it feels very selfless as Trisha is talking through this which I didn't expect I'm gonna tell you I didn't expect it from her I didn't expect it from her but that's that's what's happening and what I also thought was really interesting about this is the way that she processes the way her friend and co-worker betrayed her what she intends to do moving forward and she releases a lot of anger while also accepting the understanding that she's been hurt she doesn't need to continue to have conversations with these people and it's time to close the door this isn't something that's always easy to do when you've been betrayed by a friend because so many of us want to give them a million chances and we want to believe them and what's really shocking in this is about halfway through Trisha discusses how Colleen lied to her face when confronted about information of the Betrayal you and I have been through this before think back you probably don't have to think back too far because it's still fresh in your mind huh when somebody whipped you over and you went up to them and you had the ball so you had the gall to say hey did you do this and they lied to you you and you don't really know what to do next Trisha talks about that I think it's really interesting so this is a video um that I like really did not want to make and I feel like the past few years I've really taken a step back from having to comment on everything having to respond to everything said about me on the internet because at the end of the day it just gets really exhausting and then of course being in other people's business even have strong opinions about it I really decided years ago that it was it wasn't good for my mental health that's a big change from the Trisha Paytas that we've known from 10 years ago if you guys have been familiar with the online space Trisha would not hesitate to upload a video on anybody drag anybody do anything put herself into it and now she said which I think is commendable I used to do that a lot I don't really know why but I've decided it's exhausting and I don't anymore because I'm putting myself first my mental health first for my child and I just don't do that anymore but I'm tied to this so I am going to comment on it being known as the person who's just always in drama and can't keep friendships it's it's not a good look I I've worked really hard the past couple years to kind of just stay in my own lane can you believe that she just said that like Trisha Paytas just said that and honestly it seems like she's changed a lot and I think that's fascinating and if anything if you're somebody that is like absolutely hated Trisha over the years at least maybe this means that people can change somehow I'm putting my own hurt feelings aside and my feelings are very hurt um I've had like a stick to my stomach feeling for a while now and today especially me and Colleen started a podcast this year three episodes and they only made in three episodes I think it shocked a lot of people because like oh I didn't know they were close friends like that and the thing is um we weren't close friends we were friends I considered us to be friendly when I had my daughter she reached out and I thought oh it's great to have Mom friends and you know um friends you know who have kids Trisha says here the way that the podcast came about was she had her daughter she's taking a break from everything but somehow Colleen who has been in the industry with her for the past decade reaches out they both have a child they have something in common and they connect and thus the show was born because Trish is not really doing much else and she'd love to do a podcast I thought this podcast would be great because we always got along really great when we would see each other oh no I wasn't aware of these most recent things that are coming out everyone knows I have a very very very Firm Stance on talking to anyone underage platonic or not I've always been very very firm Trisha has said in the past that she was taken advantage of multiple times by authority figures when she was younger and I mean this is this she's talked about this so many times I believe it I remember one time there was a very popular YouTuber who was 17 and another YouTuber as friends have wanted to bring it to my apartment I said absolutely not like she has to just stay in the car like I just I have a lot of trauma when it comes to um my relationships I had when I was under age I also also withdraws a clear clearable line between Trisha and Colleen Trisha little really says that back in the day a very popular YouTuber had come around her house but she was 17 and Trisha said absolutely not she's not coming in the house meanwhile Colleen is happy to text with younger fans which that'll come up a minute that go I'm like a lot that was crazy in group chats with the fans video chatting with essentially the children and so I believe that Trisha really thinks this is weird like this is something that she's like I did not engage in and I didn't know so when all this came out I was shocked you know the group chats and stuff I was kind of shocked and it's such a difficult thing because Colleen is someone that I quickly and just literally in the past month that we did this podcast like I really really like cared about and really like related to I thought well you know she told me she canceled here and there and she kind of understood when people would come for her for working with me you know because I I've done stuff in my past that's not cool by today's standards you know yeah the JonBenet thing was weird sister I think everyone can be I would take con Philly and girl like I really do think people can like change and change their ways and stuff like that um if you can acknowledge it her video came out and I was just shocked to say the least that she didn't at least acknowledge oh do you remember where you were when you first saw the Colleen apology video in the world of people that were up to date on all of that we were all shocked now I need you to take a minute and imagine how Colleen Ballinger's co-host Trisha felt when she saw her pull out the ukulele the toxic [Music] God I would not want to beat Georgia that day to kind of brush it over in the way she did and you know ultimately became like memes and now it becomes somewhat lighthearted even though it's not a lighthearted issue I was I was shocked and she sent me the link to her video her Apache video and I didn't respond back to it because Colleen never told Trisha you know she's doing this bit they're like clearly not talking that much like they're not they're like not fresh she didn't update her on anything didn't say hey I think I'm gonna respond today she just sent her the link and it was her playing the ukulele we'll never forget because again I know what it feels like to have the whole internet come down on you even if the whole internet is right like I'm someone again who struggles with mental health issues mental illness that's another thing I want to point out Trisha says here that I know how it can feel when the whole internet comes down on you even when the internet is right it makes me feel as though Trisha has reflected on some of her own behavior and realized she was in the wrong and even though it sucked that everyone came down on her maybe she felt like okay I I screwed up like this makes sense but she's also attributing this to Colleen she's saying Colleen the internet's in the right what are you doing I cannot believe I'm giving Trisha this many props but like I like I have to I want to once again reiterate I'm not stoked on giving Trisha Paytas the props but I'm really excited to be giving the behaviors that she took the beating the props throughout this she's acknowledging that she struggles with mental health but in no way through her phrasing have I felt like she has used that as an excuse she reminds you that she struggles with emotional regulation she reminds you that she struggles with being triggered easily but she makes these small statements that make it very obvious she's taking accountability and I don't hear an oh pity me in it and as much as some of you may hate Trisha I think that that's something that all of us could take on in our lives because that's what the internet is asking for all the time in a scandal tell us what you're going through tell us why you did it take the accountability for it apologize and say what you're going to change doing like moving forward I'm really impressed by how it's subtly coming out some of you guys may completely disagree that's totally okay but right now I do want to highlight that because we don't see it that often and when we do see an example of it you should pay attention Apple Bottom geez great name said I'll give her a crumb of credit I love that you don't really like want to and you're you're you're a harsh critic but you can't help but acknowledge a little bit of what's going on and you giving that crumb when some people refuse choose to listen I don't know I like that give them the crumb and you can take back the crumb anytime you want remember that and I hate putting any energy into this but it's very very serious it's very serious and it's a topic I don't take likely and I can't take lightly there were so many reasons why Colleen's uh response was shocking ridiculous disturbing confusing but one thing that I think is really interesting is Trisha mentions multiple times the allegations are serious like even if you don't think that they're true or not you still have to regard them as such these wouldn't stick to you even in the slightest if there wasn't some truth to it that you need to acknowledge and what Colleen did was make it into a theatrical Musical song which shows she doesn't take it seriously man I still can't wrap my head around that because y'all know I used to do PR from people and I I thought I was about to have a heart attack [Music] I was a live reaction to me seeing the Colleen ukulele video this isn't even Trisha's issue and she gives more accountability to the weight of what is going on than Colleen herself who is involved we already have a lot of um stigma misconceptions allegations against us as sex workers um and so I need to nip this in the bud that I do not condone at all um unsolicited nudes sending that's new to anyone of anybody this is where it gets crazy or not I think using someone's nudes as a way to hurt them make fun of them make light of them um be mean is the lowest form of human the lowest form of intelligence I think that's so inhumane I think that's it's about to get crazy all for anyone the text messages were shown and it's very clearly from choline to a fan oh has over half a million views on Twitter I'm not embarrassed by I'm embarrassed for her wow we're gonna come right back to that line I'm not embarrassed by these photos I'm embarrassed for her so so if you're not caught up so far the fan our protagonist in the story that has just really gone forward to bring all this stuff to light is a kid named Adam and Adam's put out a lot of videos about them I I some of them are like longer informed so I don't think a lot of people have sat down and listened to a lot of these details but in the middle of one video that I think it was like over 50 minutes maybe an hour long or something um he details a situation where he says I am so sorry that Trisha Paytas has to find this out and I'm so sorry that I participated but Colleen used to send me Trish's nudes when I was a minor and make fun of Trisha's body to me I heard that and I was like what and he says it in the video but it doesn't pick up too too much traction and once again you know Adam is apologizing that he participated in this but you know he's a kid in his biggest celebrity Idol Colleen is like basically saying hey this is okay this is funny it's not a big deal she's she's on only fans she uploaded these herself like you know this is fine I believe that this was happening in 2019 so this was what four and a half years ago I I can't really speak to Adam's age right then at the time like whether he's 16 17 18 or 19 honestly it's up and then years later like Colleen comes back around and it's like hey girl let's do a podcast together kind of weird right so this was just kind of out there for a minute but then what ends up happening is another person that used to work for Colleen went back into their iMessages on their computer and took photos of Colleen sending the same naked pictures to them like she was making fun of Trisha's body to multiple people that were her fans she probably was doing this with other YouTubers too I mean come on but she she just thought it was so hilarious that she's gonna send it to that's a lot right it's a lot this is where the Betrayal comes in Trisha is working with this woman she has a podcast with her there are two or three episodes in they have all these ideas they put all this work into creating the company The Branding the production finding the right Partners everything she is in business with this woman and now she's finding out that only just a couple years ago three or four years ago she was making fun of her body to her fans that's gonna make Trisha feel like oh my God like am I am I dumb should I have known how long has this been going on I'm sure you've felt those feelings too when you were betrayed and then those feelings feel so bad that you try to talk yourself out of them maybe you're the type of person that blames yourself and thinks did I do something wrong or maybe you try to reason with the person that's betrayed you and say this can't be true and then comes the opportunity for this person to betray you again if they lie to you it wouldn't be humiliated for the person the photos I'd be humiliated for the person who sent them yes girl yeah yes yes look this is one thing that I love too okay if you're ever a person that has like had your nudes shared you sent them to somebody that you trust the next thing you know they're either on the Internet or people in your school or passing them around or something it is so embarrassing especially as a woman this happens to guys too okay dudes get somehow somebody gets picture next thing you know they're blackmailing them all this stuff they did a whole Black Mirror episode on it okay this happens to people all the time but what I love here I really love it what Trish is saying that's like really powerful is I'm not embarrassed it's more embarrassing for the person that sent the photos and she said I'm I'm very embarrassed for Colleen that's kind of cancer because so many of us we feel so vulnerable we feel so violated for her to get up and say that's on you I don't know I like it I don't get the purpose I don't know if there was an inside joke I'm missing on this the fan said hey congratulations on becoming parents from which a month later she just responds with a a nude of me and says you look so pretty in this and these weren't a long time ago wow someone well into their 30s just gave birth sending nudes and I a month prior I was in her house meeting her child and doing oh my God that is so weird weird girl I can't I can't she was in Colleen's house hanging out with the baby and just right before that Colleen was making fun of her body to who knows look here's the other thing because I I know I keep harping on this but I can't get over it y'all my trigger is betrayal okay if you're triggered by betrayal or you just have an extreme like hurt or dysphoria when it comes to being betrayed we end up developing these defense mechanisms to avoid betrayal at all costs because it's too painful the same thing happens with abandonment if you're terrified of Abandonment you may not even know that you're terrified of Abandonment you might just avoid any perceived abandonment at all costs uh and obviously this goes with a lot of different things and look me if I would betrayed right now even though I have been through so much therapy so much I'd be on the floor right now y'all I'd be crying screaming but I don't know what I'd be doing but I would not be sitting up here calling me like this it is it's shocking to me that she can go through such a public and humiliating betrayal and sit here and talk about this is therapy folks they showed the viewing parties that were talked about just make fun of me they did viewing parties of my adult content to make fun of me oh my God she had no idea and she was working with her and it wasn't just one occasion there was multiple times that she sent just different photos and different positions of me um I did ask her about these a couple weeks ago before there was um the proof so to speak right oh my God have a seat everybody and she assured me that she had never sent photos of me that um this one fan who was underage at the time would send photos to her she's like no he was a fan he sent photos to me and he was obsessed with you and he would just send me in once in a while I'd like respond to him and be like hey okay that's what she told me a couple weeks ago when Trisha hears that Colleen used to make fun of her body by sending photos of her to multiple people even hosting viewing parties with her friends making fun of Trisha's body Trisha still wants to give Colleen the benefit of the doubt and I know this because she asked her she said is this true that's giving the benefit of the doubt right have you done that before and Colleen said to her no I never did that this fan is crazy they're lying they're obsessed with me and oh I remember he was obsessed with you too he would send me the photos of you it was him sending those pictures not me I didn't know what to say it was horrible Trisha it was horrible and Trisha who's been online for a long time and and knows that you know people can be you know aggressive or maybe make stuff up or something she says okay Colleen I believe you and then once again Trisha is essentially publicly humiliated because the screencast come out on Twitter I gotta be honest it was really heartbreaking because there were so many screen caps multiple days multiple weeks it was like she was stalking Trisha's only fans and just sending the pictures to people I I couldn't um I couldn't wrap my head around it people like posing in front of the photos with Tricia sending it to Colleen because you know making fun of Trisha makes Colleen happy it makes you connect with her they were genuinely really really really really really upsetting Colleen lied to her she tried to confront her give her the benefit of the doubt and she said that never happened everyone's crazy listen to me and she believed her and then the proof came out girl I would not be okay right now I would not be responding like this right now being as I was like her friend and I knew her as a person I was trusting her I guess um it's easy to be taken advantage of when you're a person that trusts others more than you trust yourself this is especially evident if when you're a child if you occasionally like you know made mistakes and a parent hammered into you that this was your fault you can't do anything right I'm not going to keep going with the uh dialogue of it because some of you guys just might get triggered like back into your childhood it might also happen when um you have a parent that wants you to be solely dependent on them so they don't really ever let you do anything yourself and anytime you try to do something for yourself they feel like you're taking away from their role as a parent so they stop you from doing it right so then in turn you might become a an adult that doesn't necessarily have this trust of yourself and of course it can come up with a lot of different reasons so Trisha says that she's a person that will sometimes trust the people around her more than her self if you're one of those people you gotta learn to protect yourself you gotta learn to trust yourself a little bit so there's two options there for her to say like yeah that was a while ago I was a hater I mean I'm the first to say like I've definitely have been a hater in the past I've been miserable in my own life I've been going through my own life in the past and I was miserable and I hated on people for sure yeah not people that I would go and like be at their house and like do a whole podcast with but I sure you know there's so much to take out of this video so we hear Trisha is even saying and I believe this she says that if Colleen had just said when confronted with this okay yeah I I was a hater back then I was a hater I was a piece of like and I'm sorry yeah I did that you know if you don't want to talk to me anymore I understand but I'll take accountability for it to move on and Trish is saying you know if she had said this I could have looked past it she was like because you know I've done this in the past too but you know I'm not inviting people over to my house and doing a whole podcast with them inviting them over to meet my baby like she's realizing wait would I have accepted that how do y'all feel so far after seeing this video with Trisha doesn't seem like she's changed or it has she maybe she's like done some stuff that some people find complete in fact I was about to say unforgivable you don't have to forgive anybody that don't forgive them but if you don't think that this isn't a slightly different person I'm just saying I'm surprised but wait who said that I gotta give you credit for that someone said that's not Trisha that's Patricia Patricia we've talked crap about me that's fine we were we weren't that close back then I guess like you know whatever and she vehemently denied no I never sent pictures of you like they would he the underage fan would send me pictures of you um not satisfying that they weren't nude or not this is also very new for Trisha Patricia excuse me yeah that this is Patricia now she pauses when she's speaking or thinking or processing something she never used to do this the kitchen floor videos were you know everything was a soundboard and now she's she's pausing and she's letting things sink in and she's processing and she's really taking a moment before she says the next thing I think that that is another sign of the growth my heart was racing my stomach I was sick to my stomach and I just I don't know I guess seeing stuff like that that's probably the worst I've seen from someone that I've like considered a friend like that's man it's pretty barbaric she's saying this is one of the worst wow and it is downright Coral it's it's it's it's a low low level of a person um to say that stuff and again this isn't years ago this is you know someone well into their 30s it's not a child it's not a Kim as of now as of recording this it's the text came out and the minor fan who is now an adult has said that those same pictures were sent to him um this is all alleged as I haven't seen anything so I I don't want to I just want to put this out ahead of anything I know there's every day something coming out and seeing that text from The Huffington Post I'm like okay let me just get ahead of this I am so sorry to that person if this is true I'm so sorry I know firsthand how traumatizing that can be I had nothing to do with this I do not condone it I think it's the most disgusting thing and above all else illegal she said cut the bridge burn it down granted she's not trying to speak on Colleen's behalf or defend her anything but she is apologizing and literally taking more accountability as a co-host of Colleen's then Colleen even today girl how you gonna let Trisha Patricia pay this Farm of redemption character Arc off of you a grown woman in their 30s doing this to someone who is in their house been around their family like you have some issues it's a sickness this is really wrong this is really gross and it's also unsolicited nudes they weren't no one was asking for this I don't again I don't know the inside joke she said they're taken out of context viewing parties or your friend posing next to them are like oh my God that little breath just made me so sick I know I keep saying it you don't have to like Trisha Paytas you also don't even have to like Patricia Paytas 2023. but if you can respect her response more than Colleen I mean that that's saying something okay how to make this video to say I don't stand behind goleen whatsoever yes Kenzie this is unedited it's unscripted I don't think she has a PR team it it's just Raw it's just wrong it took away from the severity of her actions of talking to minors bringing minors on stage at her show these people are speaking up and they're uncomfortable for a reason they acknowledge it change it do better but being told she never sent these photos and these actually do exist these text messages I feel a light super disrespected and at least be honest about it to like show some accountability show like yeah that was that was stupid that was immature whatever but I don't stand by her I'm embarrassed to be associated with her oh my God I'm embarrassed for the fans that she messaged those two that's should never have happened the silence is loud loud and again this really hurts sex workers as a whole this is out there and it looks like were some deviants because this is used in this way it's disgusting I think another thing that Trisha does really well through this because you know we're on the topic of betrayal and you know getting through a betrayal and a friendship is she acknowledges several several times that she is hurt and I want to ask you guys when something really bad happens to you do you say to yourself I'm really really hurt and I need some time or do some of y'all say I'm fine oh I'm good I'm good I'll be all right like which one are you right and when we don't acknowledge to ourselves how much we've been hurt then nobody takes care of us right because you need to take care of yourself when you're hurt you either want to be taken care of by the people around you or at least you need yourself to do it and if you don't admit to yourself that you've been betrayed you've been hurt you were humiliated you're just anything like that then no is going to take care of you and you need to take care of yourself and you deserve to take care of yourself and you deserve to be taken care of okay so just a reminder it's okay to say I'm hurt man this hurt it was bad and this this was really bad I'm not I'm not going to speak on this again I will never speak on choline again oh she said we're done she she just does not exist to me anymore and this is not me canceling her she'll always be around She'll always I'm sure she'll be fine I'm just typically disavowing any association I have with her damn bro hey everybody that was a friend of music videos hey everybody oh that was loud too sorry I forgot I posted the volume God I'm the worst today once again I want to remind you guys you don't have to like Trisha Paytas you could say she's the worst person in the entire world that's totally fine um I you you can think or say whatever you want I wanted to share that with you because this is a lot different than the person I've done videos on before I've done videos on Trisha I've talked about Trisha before because I'm like whoa what is going on here I really do feel bad for her with that betrayal I feel bad for her that people were having uh viewing parties with people making fun of her body and um I just feel bad that she was betrayed so publicly but I do feel like I respect her response and I think she handled it well and that's my opinion