is she still inside I got told to kill myself and hit and push by my face and kicked and oh begged to smack him birthday of homeless what what brought on today's issues it's gonna be okay alright two people call the same incident a crime only one of them gets arrested why this case raises a deeper legal question who decides who the real victim is the battered woman yeah is she still inside yeah she's in there okay and I'm not gonna press charges I just actually just need her to be gone boss okay and we'll we'll sort it out if I can go in and talk with her and my partner come come on yeah would you mind hanging out here to talk with her when she gets here what it's Candice Candice yeah let's find out how about this artwork hello and my mirror hello what's going on today how about I got told to kill myself and hit and pushed by my face and kicked and oh begged to smack him it's not my fucking fault well let's hang out and talk for a bit and I thought I'm a fucking bad person when I've been here all day getting my stuff together to go I'm trying to leave so I don't have to be in a violent fucking relationship anymore I am fucking do you have an ID so I can write stuff while we talk no I'm gonna find it I'm so sorry it's okay we don't we don't need to worry about it for right now we can talk for now have a seat take a breath I I understand there's a lot going on right now like I said I'm just here talking just take me I have fucking bruises all over my body from where this motherfucker thinks it's okay to fucking do this shit but he's gonna beg me to fucking hit him and when I do he calls the cops how long have you guys been together and it was a year on April 6th okay and I've been living here this whole time and I'm willing to just leave I've already got all my shit basically I'm trying I have very little left to pack and and I asked for help and this is how I get treated OK birthday I'm homeless what brought on today's issues it's been ongoing fighting over stupid fucking shit and then yesterday he called it off and was trying to force me out of the house last night but I didn't have a fucking place to go so he decided that he was gonna be nice and let me stay for the one night because I had to work at 9:00am this morning so I got up I went to work I came home and then I started packing all my shit and when I asked for help to get my shit together because there's stuff that I can't fucking reach I'm too short um he decides to just be petty and start calling my calling me names destroying my property he fucking cut up an art piece that I've had that was my grandmother's who passed away 4 years ago where's that at I can show you it want to see it now we have a video of it too he came home and showed it to me laughing about how he broke my shit laughing here's the here's the body of it okay here's the body let me see where that face is cause I have to put it all back together now so I'm sorry no you're fine he cut it into three pieces and he has a video of it where's the uh that Mark on it oh well no this the it broke off of here and I had the head in the car and he told me he was gonna pull it out of the car and give it to me today and instead he decided to put it on the ground and cut it with a sawzall into three pieces and he has a video of it happily showed it to me and laughed in my face knowing that that meant more to me than fucking anything so you did that while you were gone at work and take it no while I was here trying to pack my stuff trying to get we'll go back to the back so we're not listening over one another that's fine so you come back you're asking that's when he starts calling you names and everything he's called me everything from an inbred piece of shit whore slut cunt bitch um all kinds of stuff you name it he said it okay and then what happens throughout this interaction I asked him not to call me these names to be a little bit more like courteous and like it to be adults about this situation like I'm already agreeing to just get my shit and get the fuck out like there is no reason to be treating me like this like at all especially when I came in and I handed him cash because I expected him to let me stay another day to fucking fix this to get all my shit together to find a place to go but no he turned around because you can have your money back you have to get the fuck out today okay and so like for one I told him I was like I have squatters rights technically I live in this house I have mail there actually there are no squatters right I have mail coming no no I have items here you have residency get it correct because there's no squatters rights I want you there's no squatters rights if you have residency because you've been living here long enough he can't just he would have to legally take me to through the courts right I'm trying to save him the bullshit and get all of my stuff out not peacefully uh huh I understand and this is how this fucking has to happen I got you so then what happens after that as you guys are as he's escalating stuff he is he's out he went he left um when I came home from work because he didn't want to be around me when did you get back um I got off at 1 1:00 OK OK I got home at like 1:10 OK um so I've been packing everything since then and moving everything by myself and he left to the gas station and then god knows where for like an hour and a half meanwhile he's sending me just horrible messages calling me telling me oh this and that and then at one point he tries to call me and say oh well I'm willing to give you a ride um if you have a place to go and I'm like I don't have anywhere to go I've said this five fucking times I didn't have a place to go like I'm trying to figure out where to go you know and then my friend Taylor who is here now offered to let me stay in her house for three days and I'm like okay that's better than fucking nothing like at least I can take my cats and get them out of this house because he won't he fucking hates animals and threatens to fucking throw them outside of fucking time even though I take care of them and the house is fucking clean like there's no reason for any of this okay so he's sending you those messages and I I realize this is stressful this is a and then whenever he came home he goes here you go and throws the fucking three pieces of the frog face in my lap knowing that that was just gonna start shit and then I pause up the video and start laughing at it showing it to me like I wanted to fucking watch him destroying my property and I was like this isn't fair like I don't destroy your property but you've broken plenty of my shit like my fucking phone for example he got pissed and threw my phone my fucking 11 dollar phone when was this this was fuck a month ago two months ago I just I don't know what to do I feel like I have to hide this shit or it's freaking broken and I have to protect my animals they're gonna get killed I can't handle this anymore so he shows you that then what happens I told him not to touch my animals and Taylor and Paul were already on the way and I was like I should I was like you know you destroy my property and I don't do that to you like I should do that to you with as much as you've done to me but I'm not going to because I'm a bigger fucking person than that I'm not that kind of person I don't break people's shit out of spite you know and so he goes you better quit yelling at me or huh I'll get rid of your animals for you so he starts going around through the house looking for my animals that are never gonna come to him because they fucking hate him because he fucking just throws shit at them yells at them treats them like shit and I'm like don't fucking touch my animals because he has tried to whack them with metal bars tried to hit them with a fucking lighter tried to and I'm like heavy things like a key like a fucking like a what do you call it a skeleton key that ones that are heavy and thick he's throwing that at my cat like if that hits her in the fucking head she'd die OK so he's looking for the catch then what I told him don't do it like I'm getting all my shit and I'm I'm like you don't fucking do it like you're gonna fucking regret doing it and he's all what hit me hit me do it and I have my friends on the phone the whole time so it's like I didn't fucking just go and beat the fuck out of him I gave him a smack in the fucking face because I felt like he was he deserved the fucking smack in the face for treating me the way that he was but that's nothing compared to the shit that he has done to me like did you ever call in any of the other stuff I have no because I didn't want to freak because I'm afraid of him he's like 3 times my size and has literally crushed me on his bed two days ago he grabbed my face with his whole palm and pushed me while I was on the bed not even in his way and then tried to claim that I was in his way and not letting him leave and I was like I'm literally sitting on this bed trying to get talk to him that was it but he grabbed me by the face and pushed me and then proceeded to where are the animals right now I have one in the kennel I've been trying to find my other cat I can't find him he's hiding somewhere because we've been fighting and I have my turtle in the tank in there I'm gonna go and talk to my partner can you look to see if you find that piece that's cut up yes I can do that okay and then who was involved me yeah I was the one that was like no don't then she swung at me but alright so I don't want to press charges on her I just do you mind if I talk to you yeah I'm fine alright so what happened uh we broke up the other day uh I tried getting her to leave how long has been since you guys got together it's been over a year a bit over a year and both of you guys live here both of us yes okay so you guys broke up last week no no no like a day or two ago um okay so I asked her to leave she wouldn't and there's nothing I can do you know like I can't just throw her on the street like that uh huh I care about the fucking dumbass anyway uh I let her stay and then uh she figures that me letting her stay the night meant that everything was okay and I told her fuck no okay I was like you gotta fucking get out or pay rent but like we're not together and uh I got here we start fighting again I told her uh to calm down she keeps yelling I'm like we have neighbors you calm down or you get the fuck out of my house and she's uh telling me I'm not fucking getting out blah blah blah blah even though half of your shit's packed so you seen all you haven't been inside no I haven't OK so uh I told you you gotta get out otherwise I'mma let your cats out the door and they're gonna be feral cats and I don't know how you're gonna catch'em and she picked up this thing she's I'm gonna fucking hit you with it and I was like I fucking hope you do at least this way like I have a reason to have you thrown out and she fucking drops it and everything and she's I'm gonna fucking hit you and she's like doing that and I was like go for it go for it and bitch just stop I was like oh shit like you fucking did like alright and it didn't hurt you know and if you I don't know there's anything but just the fact that she did like right here in the face in the ear just this part you're coming to find I am a huge asshole of a douchebag yes but uh yes I wanna do an overview first OK oh sir don't do that oh I know will you please be serious about it yeah I'm sorry you know you're good I'm trying to make a light situation appreciate it I can see a little redness in that area right there that's good and then you mentioned that she did it with a first yes do you remember which hand did she use she's right handed I'm right handed I didn't look at it I I kind of caught I didn't think she was actually gonna do it okay I did egg her on but uh so let me just explain something real quick you mentioned that you guys have been living together here right I don't understand you mentioned these two house yes but in the state of New Mexico after you leave like for seven days in a property technically you're establishing like residency oh I'll do go through court and everything we have to yeah yeah so at this point you know I understand dimension first thing you don't want to press charges in her unfortunately you know on the state of New Mexico once there's a domestic involved you don't have the the chance to decide if you wanna press charges or not it's something that state automatically do for the person or the um primary aggressor in this case you know and then the second one is like uh once you get called out to the court you know if you don't wanna cooperate you know and shop then that that's on you oh yeah so I could tell him low I lied it's bullshit you know and then at this point you know um Joseph do need to her out of the property uh you have to go to court for the eviction you can use this case in order to get an expirate addiction which instead of giving you 30 days to get her out of the property they will give you like three days or so it just depends on the judge you know and how they see the situation itself but um at this point that's usually what they do um so just to make sure you where did the incident occur oh in my room I just went to the back I was uh I was serious about like if you don't stop yelling and like fucking thinking having the neighbors think that like I'm murdering you I'm gonna have those cats just take off how many cats there's just two but they're indoor cats you know so okay I was like they're as good as dead if they come out what time did this happen like literally right as when I called so about when you called that's when it occurred okay gotcha is this the first time that that yeah yeah that it gets like physical yeah I mean she's always talked about how you know she was a brawler and everything when she was a kid but it's like that was fucking cute you know okay the fact that you say you can't even see it at all that's a pretty embarrassing to me but it's just me one second when she hit you you guys were standing like facing each other yeah I was straight up on my knees like trying to look under the bed for the cats okay so you were on the knees and then was she standing like in front of you or in front of you OK well to my side but yeah to your side OK so it was like technically like this yeah so I'm like this just right where you are and far right OK and then she mentioned that you have a video of you putting like some metal pieces or something like that cutting a mess uh so she had this thing from her grandmother uh like a frog iron frog face or whatever anyways um I told her I fucking threw that thing away and shit she was blaming her homegirl OK that it was in her storage and I told her you're just fucking stupid like you don't blame them because her grandma's passed away and shit and she's been a fucking bitch what I did was fucking threw that out the window and shit it's gone and that's fucked up but uh okay and do you have the video though no well I can show you like up where the fucking frog is but you know it's I okay I littered it it's just gone okay so you just throw it away it's gone yeah and that was about it yeah already yeah cause she's mentioning that but I'm not too sure like what does that mean you know or if it has anything to do what would happen today oh absolutely cause I told her like it's gone I told her the I told her a few days ago when she had blamed her friend for having it and she wouldn't give it back I told her you know that fucking thing you made with Maddie like that shit turned out to be in my fucking toolbox okay today when I was at my mom's doing a she had a leak in her bathtub I was taking care of that I found it in the tools again I was like oh it's in this toolbox it's like alright I was mad I kept telling her I called her earlier it's been going on for two days I told her is your shit packed up are you ready to go and she kept telling me I'm not gonna leave you have to go to the courts and everything and I was like that's fine if we have to do that but I would just fucking uh get out already and she threatened me that uh she wasn't gonna leave so gone okay so did you just like throw it away and that was about it I feel like I wanted to hurt her you know like and that's fucked up but I was like it's her dead grandmother so okay and I'll own up to it but it's gone right okay just one second can I talk um we well we were so we were on the Bluetooth device on my car so we both were listening okay what did you hear um a lot of back and forth don't touch my don't touch my animals I was trying to focus like yeah that's fine and then so like you told me to hit you things like that um he already said that he was willing to help her move things out and stuff as we can like I only have a Jeep so like that's not much we can really get away with did you hear him tell her to hit him at all no OK did you hear anything sound like a hit no I didn't hear I didn't hear any actual hit on he just while we were heard her make that comment he doesn't want to pursue charges but he doesn't get to choose when it's battery on a household member what about him I that's why I was saying you have to call when those things happen that's why I was asking you I know and those are those are separate incidents that we'd have to that we have to deal with I can't do this I know I didn't and I didn't even fucking do it hard he asked me for it he begged me for it he was like please do it just do it please do it like I got you I I understand like and and this I asked some specific questions while we were here just in case of their stuff my property and fucking threatening to hurt my animals and I understand physically hurt me just yesterday I know just yesterday this is I had a two day fucking fight Candice you fucking heard me yesterday I understand and this is where you have we can't do anything if you don't call us if you don't call me for help I can't what's fucked up is I've called when this shit happened before and nobody ever fucking showed up so here I am sitting thinking like I'm just gonna get fucking let down again that's why I asked you said you you said you didn't call previous ones this has been years ago OK my last relationship that was similar to this OK was that in town or out of the county I've only ever lived here OK if we can't it so there are some of them we can't find either the address or something these we have to depends on how many years ago you're talking um since 6 then there was probably an issue there was probably an issue with the officer or we were swamped and they could not make it and by the time they came things were they couldn't find you I don't know I can't justify this I've already warned him I've already warned him that if you if we once we find those pieces of metal we can prove that it was cut cause he's claims he doesn't have a video once again if we if we can wait and fucking go through that stuff I will find you those pieces of metal and I will happily go with you I want him to understand that that's not okay he defaced my property and something he can get charged with criminal damage to property that's absolutely fine and I want can we go through that well well you can go look real quick see if we can find it please David will you help me yes I literally just tossed it onto the stuff and like there's it's in three little pieces it's a fucking frog face you remember my grandma's frog I think so so it's unfair listen Candace I'm not saying it is fair I'm telling you we we can't help we can't help unless you call us when it's going on so we can talk and find out we we're not psychic I can't read minds and know that there's a domestic going on at this place I need to come help I and I'm sorry that you had a bad experience years ago always call us even if it hasn't gotten physical use us to mediate I tell everyone use this to mediate I have really bad PTSD and did I can't handle that right now I know but you gotta understand that we don't get to choose this is one of the few we don't go ahead yes do you are you on medication for a lot of us take a breath take a breath so listen you get it through your through pharmacy correct yes sir so what the nurse is gonna ask is what medication you're on what pharmacy they can reach out to the pharmacy to verify your prescriptions and they can get you the medication once they verify that okay cool this is your prescription and they can get you your medication OK so they can help you with that they just need to know your pharmacy how is it fair that I get arrested when I I have so the statute is he was literally asking for it so it is unlawful intentional application force it's unlawful because yeah he's saying but you don't legally have a right to slap him that's what I that's the that's where we're getting at that's where it's I all this is why I say always call us if you guys are arguing let us mediate let us calm the situation but alright we do have to go cuff no that's not ours we do have to go cuffs I'll check with her alright like I said you're copper if we can go on the front breathe it's gonna be OK alright thanks guys and just for you when I was talking about if when you were doing it this is how I like to I kick it a finger over so I'm not hitting it against a wrist if you're like just in a rush yeah go to a wrist that's absolutely fine but when they're cooperative it's easier I click it around and we can battery is defined as the unlawful intentional application of force against another person most misdemeanors require an officer to witness the offense before making an arrest domestic battery law creates an exception allowing a warrantless arrest based on probable cause alone mutual conflict cases many states require officers to identify a single primary aggressor primary aggressor analysis weighs injury severity prior history and evidence of self defense provocation is not a recognized legal defense to battery in most jurisdictions a complainant asking police not to press charges does not control the officer's legal decision Terry v Ohio 1,968 sets the reasonable suspicion standard for an investigative stop Graham v Conner 1,989 sets the reasonableness standard for any force used by police Miranda v Arizona 1,966 requires warnings only once custodial interrogation begins voluntary statements made before an arrest decision do not require a Miranda warning destroying property during a domestic dispute can support a separate criminal charge the lesson here is simple honesty with police can become evidence used against you provocation may explain a reaction but it rarely excuses it under the law a single admission on camera can outweigh months of context built outside it so if both people in this case told the truth was the right person arrested