were you just so upset and just so frustrated and depressed did you have thoughts of killing your kids I had thought about killing all of us well Phillip's not there this video contains the interview of a woman with postpartum depression who smothered her infant daughter on June 9th 2017 Amber sagarnica was home alone with his three children while her fiance was at work sagarna suffered from depression and had recently lost the ability to make it to her therapy sessions although she had originally decided to put her daughter up for adoption when she was born once she held the child cigarnica changed her mind unfortunately she was never able to fully form a bond with her daughter unable to deal with an infant sagarnica quickly developed the habit of ignoring her for long periods of time when the baby cried sagarnica would cover with a blanket and leave her in another room on this night she pressed a heavy comforter around the baby tighter than usual and hours passed before sarganega's husband came home and checked on her when he discovered that she was unresponsive he called 9-1-1 and attempted to perform CPR the medical team arrived but were unable to resuscitate the baby Amber Sagar Naga admitted that she placed a heavy comforter over the child because she was crying the baby was taken to a nearby hospital but did not survive there you go hi my name is Brad McMillan have a seat please my name is Glendale Police Department okay obviously I'm here to talk to you about what happened I need to get some information from you first okay okay do you have we did you grow up here in Glendale I was six years old okay so yeah do you have family here mom dad or no just my dad's family my mom's family is in California I'm sorry my dad's family lives out here okay in Glendale or in Arizona in like Phoenix condos okay mostly Phoenix yeah okay all right um did you go to school here in Glendale um yeah I moved here a lot but I you know my freshman year I went to Glendale High okay did you graduate I got my GED okay so where did you go to after Glendale High okay Glendale I went to North and I sophomore year and then after that my junior year I went to Carl Hayden and Greenway and then my senior year I went to very cold water Carl Hayden and them to Greenway and then the very little were you moving yeah that is in CPS oh okay I gotcha um sorry about that Goldwater is a good school though so it's Greenway yeah I bet I bet um okay well obviously like I said I need to talk to you about what happened but since a police car brought you here okay and you're here I'm gonna read you something okay yeah the right to remain silent anything you say can be used against it in a court of law you have the right to the presence of an attorney to assist you prior to questioning if you so desire if you cannot afford an attorney have the right to have an attorney pointed for you prior question do you understand he's right yes yes okay um so Philip and you when did you guys meet detective McMillan maintains a friendly tone as he reads sargonica her rights and begins to ask questions about her relationship with the father of her child it is a highly emotional subject and there is a better chance that she won't shut down if she does not feel pressured or judged I just wanted to let you know real quick that my merch shop strangerlabel.com has a ton of quality and unique designs that you can purchase right now and by doing so support the channel at the same time items like the architect and the interrogator hoodies the mentally checked out and the stranger t-shirts the do not cross Muggin the All-Seeing beanie are all there and available check out these and other items I have to offer on strangerlabel.com and don't forget to use code stranger 15 to get an extra 15 off your entire order yeah without out of the way let's get back to the case [Music] and like when we like actually got together got together and started talking it was 2013. so four years ago normal you know I honestly don't really have anything to compare it to because what was it rough on you yeah all of my pregnancies are like mentally yeah yeah well tell me talk to me about that I think just like a lot of like um like childhood trauma like started coming back up you know like real hormones and everything um we have a lot of support it was like I still don't talk to my family his kind of like a rough relationship with his family um just feeling really alone I'm gonna talk to you just feeling like nauseous all the time and hopeless and you just like doubting myself like you know like because I was working at the time when I got pregnant and I was doing really good and it was my second job and I was a manager and we're at Clark shoe store the Tanger Outlet yeah yeah it was pretty good at my job I enjoyed it it was um and like getting myself on track because I had aged out of CPS so like like a month after my 18th birthday like I was out on my own and two years later I found Philip but um I've always like had issues throughout my childhood of like depression and anxiety and stuff like that and the pregnancies just kind of made it it like brought it like back like I don't know it was like way worse than anything I'd ever experienced you know did you go to counseling with her okay so they got involved and I was able to over in August last year um was it just marijuana yeah and um so DC has finally pulled out um October last year and then I gave birth to her in December and I was originally gifts I just knew that I didn't feel like I had it in me because I don't have like a relationship with my mother and I thought how the hell am I going to raise a little baby girl you don't even know what it takes to be a good mother for a girl but when I had her in the hospital I held her I just couldn't lift you know suck it up and just work through it I ended up I had to stop going to counseling because our car ended up breaking down the transmission went out we had to sell it so that was like my only way to get to my appointments Philip would take me I had too much anxiety just didn't take the bus for myself you know I only have three kids yeah and no one to watch them you know Philip was the one that watched them you know he would take me to my appointment and like you know go out with the kids do something and then drive back and get me it was going good you know um I was pregnant though I was getting counseling so they couldn't like put on any medication but my counselor said that I should try and like schedule appointment before I came first so like by the because like how long the wait time is you know they're hoping like well by the time you give birth you know you should your appointment would probably be maybe like a month out you know and you're not breastfeeding or anything so it'd be like easy access you know just the whole car thing we talked to Phillip obviously and and I know that you guys still smoke marijuana I mean he has some issues that he's going through and obviously um you're talking about your depression so does that seem to help when you smoke from marijuana does that help with some of your depression and anxiety it does help you know but it's kind of like a Band-Aid you know um a lot of a lot of the it's just kind of like today is just kind of like putting a blanket over like it like I don't know I have issues that I need to like um I know I need to get help you know I need help but like the marijuana helps but it's not enough you need to go deeper yeah it's like rude like rooted you know I know that now yeah well how often would you smoke marijuana every day like how many times a day like three times like maybe like around my meal time yeah it's in the morning and like in the afternoon and then like in the evening no do you have your medical marijuana card there's Phillip yeah um but I wanted this baby 100 I was exciting it was like a first baby like yeah let's do this you know I felt all the bond you know when I saw that I was pregnant until after I had him and I posted pictures of him you know but as he got older it seemed like I felt like I don't know I feel bad saying it but I felt kind of like um I didn't feel attached to him so garnica has had issues with depression and childhood trauma which she has been actively seeking counseling for circumstances prevented her from being able to make her appointments and this emphasizes the need for more flexible Mental Health Care while online sessions are becoming more common they are not universally provided but the proper care warning signs may have been spotted and dealt with sagarnaga was self-medicating with marijuana which wasn't doing much to help she speaks of starting to feel a lack of connection to her daughter which is a classic sign of postpartum depression [Music] but eventually you know that kind of worn out and I feel like Mimi's because he got like more older one of the baby things like really really you're caring for a baby versus like caring for a toddler he's a little more independent and get a good mood all the time and I was hopeful and I was really glad that I stuck with my decision to keep her that was the first month and it's gone downhill since then yeah um honestly I I started smoking again when she was three weeks and I can't say like whether or not maybe smoking again if it was like actual like the substance or if it was just like in my head like I felt ashamed for smoking again and it made me feel really guilty like so that started like taking its toll on me but I couldn't just stop I couldn't just stop smoking like once I started it was like it was like a crutch again you know and so it's kind of like you're in a rut if you're feeling guilty and you have three kids that you're taking care of and you just can't get out of this hole right yeah um I don't want to put any glue on food but like he kind of like encouraged me in a way like he said he noticed a difference in my mood when I smoke you know it's like you seem more happy like you're not as tense and you know like you're just more pleasant to be around what are you not very pleasant to be around no I'm not I haven't been up until today they've been like a freaking witch feeling up until today like just so angry all the time and today you weren't yeah actually I was meditated because we haven't utilities for huh I'm gonna have a toilet paper I was kind of upset about that and we Phillip had to go grocery shopping but he didn't have time to go in the morning so like we really had a little bit of food to get by like to hold us until he got back you know off of work to go to the store and get some he does a lot like I don't go out I don't go to the store and go grocery shopping like when I got to the register and I'm trying to pay with the card I kept putting the wrong numbers I was just like a wreck you know and like the registered lady was like uh do you need some help and I wanted to like run out of the store but I was mad at him when he got home too because he got he gets off at six and he came home at 7 30. so I was like we got like caught up doing that yeah we got like preoccupied kind of like arguing we didn't check on her the last time I had SARS when we woke up from a nap the boys and I am yelling into the room she wasn't there with us when we woke up around six I checked on her and she still had like half the Sleep kind of I didn't even wake her up so me and the boys came out in the living room watching videos up until Phillip got home he was gonna go to the store and get food he went to go check on her go ahead it just feel so guilty you know I had all these problems and I thought I could just suck at home foreign nothing happened I just when she wouldn't stop crying when we went to sleep so I put that blanket on her it was a big comforter so she stopped crying did you hold it over there no honestly I'm just trying to put it away like you couldn't hear the crying come out you know I can't get the boys to see because she was crying I didn't know what she wanted she I gave her apartment changed and usually like when she's upset and she's crying and I don't know like I kind of feel myself getting to that point I normally just put her in the room when I leave her so garnica's inability to cope with the baby crying is one of the most common aspects of PPD the noise is stressful and being unable to understand why the baby is crying can fill the person with anger hopelessness and guilt this is made worse by being unable to feel none of the usual compassion that a mother normally has for their child I know it's not the best thing to do but that's just how I how I cope with how I'm feeling I feel like at that moment that's the best thing I could do is just put it in the room just let myself cool off but this time I I didn't go back and check on her it just just where does she like she was in her little pack and play okay and what what kind of a comforter it was a big way it was a king-sized one yeah and was she lying on her back or her side they put her on her back she would let her back and when you put the Comfort over did you just throw it on her or did you cover her with it walk me through that just well in the pack and play we had we also had a little um you know like those little things you have in the little mask that had like those things that come up and they had like dancing like a jungle gym or something well you had that in there and she was underneath it so I grabbed the blanket and I stuffed it underneath things it was fun or not over that thing [Music] down there did you know that you were putting out a lot of like covering her because she wanted to she wanted to not hear her cry yes honestly I did it before and I've never like left it on her you know like you know honestly I feel like maybe the blanket would like Comfort she'd usually stop crying after that I don't know what I just didn't take it off for this time and that was around six no this is like this is when I put them to sleep around like three I put her in the room with this but she was on the pack and played when we were on the bed and when did you see her again it takes when I woke up the blanket wasn't even on her like saw her face and I left her like that so at three o'clock this afternoon she is crying and you put the blanket underneath the little play gym thing to cover her up and it was a big comforter and then you went to sleep with the boys and then you woke up at six yes but you could see your face yeah can she wiggle out in other words if you put it I honestly think that maybe she didn't wiggle up because like she wasn't like that before I went to sleep I didn't see her face before and so did she look okay at six she looked like she was like half asleep kind of kind of but I didn't feel like breathing yeah she was created the only concerned that you know like something was wrong with her because she she just seemed like she was like still tired okay and then that was at six and then when it was the next time he checked on her 30. it was 7 30 but he came home but he didn't check we had checked he didn't check on her until next came when we started article was she crying again I didn't hear her cry but Phillip said that he heard her cry when he got home you know Amber believe it or not okay I know what you're going through okay and I know that that you you've had a rough four years and and women have kids okay and it just it messes with her hormones okay and I know that they get really depressed that shows made a comment to the officers today okay and they made a comment to the neighbor and it has it has me really concerned okay that maybe the baby was crying and that you did something to the baby you know did you did you cover the her head with the blanket I mean did you it just like stuffed it around with the thing did you smother her foreign just getting too much to you I'm sorry Amber we're here to find out what happened McMillan gently presses for more details trying to get a better understanding of sargonica's actions and if she intended for her daughter to die or if she truly was just trying to keep her quiet and an accident occurred tell me what happened tonight honor she still was like she was still crying or what on your face how long did you do that for a few seconds maybe look at that how hard I think maybe that hardly yeah like that did she stop crying and then what happened I just ignored and lay down with the boys she was still crying and then what happened I'm gonna sleep with the boys in the room okay come once and I woke up at six and she wasn't breathing was she she was breathing she would her eyes are open what was she breathing she looked like she was alive but she taught was she crying because he wasn't crying I'm pretty sure she was breathing I wouldn't have just left her like that if I saw it she wasn't breathing I couldn't have done that foreign we do things when we're talking okay and when you were telling officer what happened and he thought it was a pillow you told him no it was a blanket you wouldn't stop crying and you made the motion like it was did you do that really did and did she stop crying she didn't so what are you saying when you pushing my hand down that was just that one time I I've done it before in the past but I mean today we're talking about tonight yeah that's the only time foreign you know stop crying was it just getting were you just getting so frustrated and you couldn't take it anymore is that is that what happened help me understand talk to me I know you feel hopeful I do I don't know what he did it for I don't know I know when I fell asleep that she was alive and how do you know you know and she was crying I fell asleep to her crying so when she went out when I woke up I guess she was breathing kind of funny and that was at six o'clock and then you never saw her after that do you know why didn't you check on her do you love her honestly did you did you feel a little bit of relief because she wasn't crying anymore like when you woke up at six she wasn't crying you just you think she was breathing and you were in there did you feel like it was like a relief like maybe you kept her from crying or you solved the crime is that why you didn't check on her or why didn't you check on her or did you know that she wasn't okay and you didn't want to go in there sometimes when things happen and and people do things and they know it like if it's in another room or if it's outside sometimes they don't want to go in that room or go outside because they know what they did and they don't want to see what they did is that what happened today no no you just didn't go in there why I just want to build into it the Phoenix do anything else I have to get a female so can you can you yeah I've been holding it so garnica is having a difficult time facing your actions she may be unable to process that she was even capable to do such a thing and sometimes to protect itself the Mind invents an alternative series of events okay okay he's in the restroom I just have a few more questions okay um I won't go back a little bit with your depression okay has your depression before today okay and your anxiety and has it ever gotten a better of you with kids and I'm talking strictly with the kids you know I mean so what I mean is is what do you mean this is the worst sleep I can't hear you just like just neglect your nerds I'm a father I know I have like anger in the face they want the bottom when you're trying to take it but then they're like rolling around their time and they're just like fussing she was doing I was like I mean when you're holding the bottle for them I hate gravity show me I'm feeding her kids okay use your hand as a release one [Music] four times and what was that this was it already up here midnight oh yeah okay so start wait it was Wednesday you talked about the comforter you did this one other time when was that I don't know maybe last week same way underneath the little mobile or yeah maybe like it like kind of tucked it around here kind of to keep your price from coming out did you hold it down a couple weeks ago like you showed me over her face and she was okay after that why this time with a different I don't know and before you did but this time you did you just kind of left it on her because I figured she was fine she wasn't like wrapped up in it or anything here caught in it did you really think she was fine like I know she wasn't fun because I put a blanket over her but he's just gonna wait for her to cry before you know bothered with her again see this time was different obviously okay then the last time and I want you to know right now I am not judging you okay I am not judging you and I don't I am not calling you I don't think you're a horrible person okay I don't and we'll talk about that but but I want to know this time okay I want to know exactly what happened this time because see what I think happened is a little bit different than what you're telling me okay I don't know I maybe put it in a way if this put the blanket under there she couldn't breathe did you mean to do that I didn't sit there and like smother or anything because I was trying to put the kids to sleep it was like a few seconds I swear it just felt like a piece like it's just holding me and just letting go she was still crying I don't want to keep doing it she was so freaking crying and doing anything and that's why I decided just to ignore her and put the voice to sleep I used to think about doing something more filtering a lot of things like what it's gonna say something about me so but I was just recently and then maybe like we could like give her up or something why her because I don't know I wasn't I wasn't feeling attached to her deciding to put a child up for adoption is a hard choice in this case it probably would have been the best decision for cigarnica like how I do with the others wasn't fair to her it doesn't deserve a mother like if it doesn't feel good did you want her gone it's hard it's a hard feeling like I did want her gone but then I didn't you know like I only wanted her gone because I feel inadequate you know what's this about a YouTube video that you showed Philip yesterday about a baby dying a music video or something like that you told Phil he knew that this was going to happen because you watched a YouTube video and you showed it to him like a couple days ago or something or a video and in that video a baby died no I was no this was like months of years on the news like I heard like some women like killed her three kids or something like that and did you think that was going to be you I didn't want it to be but it felt like it could have been me did you have thoughts of that happening were you just so upset and just so frustrated and depressed did you have thoughts of killing your kids I thought about killing all of us well Phillip's not there have you ever tried oh we never actually tried to do it how recent was that thought I don't know because you are doing that good on changing her why I'm trying to sleep care for kids is so hard it's all repetitive stuff no one cares no one says good job Philip just always going against me but were you changing the other kids or was it just married I want to be honest with you okay it looks like it had been there a while and she was pretty dirty yeah I know it was going away with all the kids when I start to slack off with changing them and it gets more put on Phillip the garage comes up and I know it's not his fault right what about bathing for you and I because we've been up all day and all night so two days ago yeah three days ago it was I'm pretty sure it was Wednesday is the day that I did that to her lip I don't think so I don't remember it up until when I was trying to put them to sleep and I did that thing with the blanket do you think that what you did with that blanket I mean do you think it was wrong you know it was wrong and why do you know it was wrong I asked you earlier before and again I won't even know I'm not judging you I'm not okay I'm just touching myself I know and that's normal but I asked you earlier I asked you the reason why you didn't go back in there okay and I'm going to tell you what I think because you're not the first person to say here okay you're not the First mom or dad okay who have this done [Music] don't you didn't you no okay this has happened before I just leave her in the middle go in there because I don't want to bother with her I didn't think she was dead I didn't feel like she was dead McMillan is able to get cigar to God to admit to thinking about killing her children it's chilling to hear because it is entirely possible that she could have killed the other two if they had caused her too much stress because maybe I wasn't 100 sure that she was completely okay when the officers are her eyes were open and that's what you're saying you saw but she wasn't breathing when the officers saw her and obviously when Philip was there because he called 9-1-1 was given CPR wasn't he did she look the same when you saw her at six no she looked different skin tones she looked like pale or something like sorry [ __ ] like and she had like so quiet but she wasn't like that when I was just talking to my partner about that I'm a little bit confused that when Philip and you went in there feel like one in there I mean and then you came in and Philip was telling you to clean what was the whole deal with cleaning I think I told him he was being irrational I think he just was kind of in shock and he's like let's start cleaning I think he just didn't want to like look anywhere but I let her he did but I was like I feel like like I was like the least they were concerned um the other question I had was when we're talking about you're talking about the pack and play okay and what color was the comforter is there only one Comfort I haven't been over there yet it was a purple comforter with like gold okay it's purple and gold was there anything else in the grip or the there's leather blankets wrapped up in anything did she when she was born or did you did you take her to the doctor she only went to that the first doctor's appointment gonna take her back for her two months has she got no medical issues she pretty good yeah you found for me yeah yeah okay how much formula do you see here um it depends but she usually eats like a sticky oil oh yeah now is she uh was she how do you remember how much she weighed when she was born she was a little over eight pounds oh wow big baby good okay what about your boys are they being babies there's I think their books [Music] [Music] foreign thank you um this is a sick one okay and this is an ominous warrant we're going to take some Buckle swabs again we're going to take some photographs of you and we're also going to take some blood okay and sign by should before you know what that hardest thing is that that a mom tries to do and they juggle three kids you know and it's always about feeding and sleeping time there's always the it seems like that and it has a parent for me those are always the roughest times to meet up kids around you know it always seems like exactly one baby will wake up the other one and then they talk you know and then they just will never get to sleep and then you get tired that was always frustrating for me one of the questions I did have for you though is do you think that blanket I mean you could you think that blanket could have done it I mean did you know that a blanket like putting a blanket on her could do that to her I know it's possible but you did it anyway why I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you a question I don't know I'm asking no but like I didn't want her dead so garnica is breaking down the emotional weight of what has happened is too much for her to deal with whatever her motivation at the time she seems to have genuine remorse for her daughter's death foreign [Music] did you mean for this to happen foreign so vclass has gotten involved okay um Philip we're doing the same thing you are under arrest sorry I am going to charge you a second degree murder okay I am terribly terribly sorry huh I didn't want this to happen yeah I'm sorry man all right I'm just gonna do some real quick basic photos man okay foreign I try and face the wall that way and then turn Face the wall that was just behind nope right behind yeah it's all right now face the other wall Chef see that was all I needed once the interview is over sagarnica is photographed and taken from the room detective crying if you're Amber okay Amber stand on up for me okay I'm gonna have you just put your hands just out in front of you and go ahead and grab your water that and then yeah I'll take that and I'll make sure this gets it to your property okay Amber sagarnica was charged with first degree murder in the death of her daughter hopefully you enjoyed the video if you did there is a patreon link in the description where you can support the channel further thank you for watching I'll see you in the next one [Music]