9-1-1 where's your emergency
hey somebody has to talk to me i just
bust a nut and uh
you know i mean and i'm tired like i'm
tired of games like somebody got talking
what's going on how are you going to
talk to me tonight my god talk to me
like like put a uh a white robe around
me and uh
and i'm scared like you know what i mean
like i'm schizophrenic i'm scared
and somebody gotta talk to me tonight
like okay what's your address
i have a new apartment too dude
diaz and david yeah
okay do you have any weapons on you no
but i need somebody to call me tonight
like a spirit to come and talk to me
because
you know like i mean i'm not going to
the hospital but i definitely need a
spirit to come talk to me
because uh like i got shot you know what
i mean nobody came to talk to me nobody
embraced me you know i'm saying nobody
showed me love like i didn't get
embraced like
and i mean then you know i'm saying i've
been through a lot of [ __ ] and i'm not
getting embraced i'm not getting shown
up
nobody holding me nobody's caring for me
nobody's
helping me out you know what i mean yeah
definitely okay what's your name what's
your name
what's your phone number okay we'll get
someone to come out there and talk to
you okay all right thank you
all right thank you one night too
do you want to talk to me like us or do
you want to go to like
doctors west or mount farmer or uh
csn okay i feel like they [ __ ] with
uh
you know what i mean but as far as
getting help as far as like later on
like caseworkers it sounds like you
already have that lined up
yeah i do you know like i got all that
but like
i mean it's just that i don't know like
when i got shot like i was expecting for
it to be over
i mean it's just too much
so what exactly is going on tonight
was somebody harassing you or something
or nobody it's just
it's like curse on me like a punishment
from god
like i mean i just been having to deal
with it
it's just too much like it hurts what's
making it worse like right now
at three in the morning
you been feeling this way all day
no like when did you start feeling this
way like numbers and [ __ ] numbers get to
me
okay like they always get to you or
yeah seven or 24 or like
21 33 and stuff like that
yeah how long has it been bothering you
today like is today worse than normal
it's been doing it to me like i mean
quite the past
i say six months okay
what what made it bad enough that you
called us tonight because it's like
i don't know it's just like i've been
having to go through so many things that
my mind
you know tells me to do and i don't have
no control over myself and it's like
okay what's your mind telling you to do
it was just like call you know what i
mean it was basically like
you know you've been through a lot of
you you've been through a lot of [ __ ] so
like
i mean like somebody gotta talk to you
you know what i mean somebody gotta like
embrace you somebody gotta watch out for
you you know what i mean
sure
what made it so bad that you had to call
tonight because you don't call all the
time i've never met you before
right i'm arsenia yeah let's give you
one of these man
um when people are
calling all the time we know you know
what i mean we don't know you
because you're not calling all the time
well and i understand you've been
dealing with things for a long time
but something made it worse tonight that
you chose that tonight you had to call
is there something specific that
happened or has it just been building up
over the last
months like what made you call tonight
it just got to the point where i was
just thinking about everything i've been
through you know
like getting shot when were you shot
2014.
okay where where did you get hit in my
thumb
and your thumb yeah you do you still
have a thumb
yeah did this graze you or something
yeah
okay and were you
having these problems before that
happened like i got shot then i went to
jail and i had to fight
like it went like i would like i was
like after i got shot i was like
somebody should embrace me you feel me
like somebody's like
somebody should like i'm saying like
hold me you feel me like
well unfortunately i'm not very good at
cuddling that's what i need though
can you smile for me man that was kind
of a joke because you didn't call me for
a hug right
yeah well i don't really hug people
but you feel me i'm here for you though
i mean do you feel that
do you think i'm here to help you yeah
right now okay
are you more scared now that we're here
or are you less scared now we're here
what makes you more scared now because
like i don't know i need like
do you need to get away from this place
no i yeah
do you feel safe when you're inside
okay is there anyone else that lives
with you
no okay well that's a good thing right
yeah
um you said that you were due to get a
shot tomorrow yeah
do they come here and give you a shot or
you go somewhere they come here how
often do you get your shot
every two weeks every two weeks how's
that does it make you feel better when
they do
i don't really feel it does it just kind
of make you go numb
they don't make me go numb it just make
me like
i don't know it just makes me like
it just makes me uh
i don't know it just me just makes i
don't know i don't know i don't feel it
well because like you said that your
mind is telling you to do things and
stuff like that does it make that stop
does it slow it down does it make it
easier to ignore sometimes it does
when you're so many medications like
i've been on medication since like
like 11 years now okay well it's not an
easy process
that's what's like after 11 years like
you get shot it's like
i mean it's like come on like yeah
i can't i can't take this no more like
what you like i'm not
i'm i'm i'm 32 right mm-hmm
i don't have a job okay i mean i got
like three hundred dollars to my name
like that's sad man i don't know man i
don't have
illness or whatever but i don't have
like a family you know what i mean like
my parents i mean like they gotta baby
me stuff
well i mean you're still like you're
doing better i mean you got cops like
y'all got families y'all got like
yeah you know what i mean well everyone
takes different path man
but you can't judge yourself by what
other people are going through
just like i don't judge you by what i go
through right yeah i know you
you risked your life every day well i'm
not going to say that
um i mean we do i have an interesting
job
but uh i'm right now i'm more concerned
about you than
about me when you you say you take
you get your shot every two weeks when
you're getting closer to needing a shot
does it get worse
not really not really i mean i'm
definitely like
paranoid about the shot cause i think
they put something in my medicine
cause i just switched from the pill to
the shot
like when i first took the pill at some
behavioral i get work right away you
know what i mean
yeah right away well that's normal i
mean you're gonna your body's gonna
build up a tolerance and that's why
things have to get changed
every once in a while just like people
that have medical problems like people
that take blood pressure medication you
know they they might take the same
medication for five years
but then they got to change it because
it's not treating their blood pressure
i mean you have a similar thing it's
just instead of your blood pressure it's
what's going on in your head you know
so it's not unusual that you have to get
things changed occasionally
so i want you to feel that you're
overwhelmed because
you're constantly going through these
changes and they can't get a grip on it
everybody that's dealing with a mental
problem or even a health problem has to
deal with that same stuff
right um so you somewhat is it like a
nurse or something that comes and gives
you a shot
once when's the last time you actually
spoke to your doctor like a clinician
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okay how often do you use where's your
doctor work out of
csn what's csn community support network
okay are you connected through like
southeast or
i was about to switch for real because
like i mean i was about to switch like
i was about to go to another agency
because they not treating me right now
like they just kind of gave up on me
like just everything turned to hate i
feel like everybody hates me
it's like yeah well there's definitely a
lot of people that are overwhelmed right
now
not just you the people that are trying
to take care of you they're overwhelmed
too
there's a lot of people that they need
to help um 11 years
man yeah hey well
fighting like every jail i go to i gotta
get in the fight
i can't even have peace in jail you feel
me like yeah
jail's normally not a very peaceful
place i know but i don't want to fight
when's the last time you went to jail
2014. okay well you're doing good though
that's six years
i've been doing good that's real good
i've been doing good but like
you think you can talk to the nurses
coming tomorrow see if they can just
give you the fill instead of a shot
yeah i mean that seems like it might
make you feel better right
yeah because you think that they're
putting something in your shop yeah the
shots probably just you know i mean
so it goes an extended amount of time
you're not just taking pills every day
but
you feel more comfortable in the field
maybe they can switch you back yeah
i mean the the best thing to do would be
to get in and see a doctor soon
um if you want i can drive you down down
a neck here tonight
and because hospitals i need to talk to
somebody
okay well we're happy to talk to you
it's just i can't stand here and talk to
you all night
and um it's not my profession
you know what i'm saying i'm not gonna
be calling on no more it's just i'm not
worried about you calling me i want you
to be all right
yeah you know what i mean i'm here right
now like
i mean like people dying i mean i'm not
gonna blame y'all i'm just saying like
i'm just always like in a state of
nervousness and fear
well when it gets more serious like this
that's the time that it's best to go see
somebody because when you're feeling
normal
and you're talking to your doctor and
he's like how you feeling you're gonna
say yeah i feel normal
he's gonna say okay everything's working
check the box
ship you out on your way but tonight
you're not feeling normal you're feeling
incredibly anxious and nervous and
worried about things
these are the times it's most important
that you actually get in and speak to
someone when it's like
fresh you know what i mean
just like you don't go to the doctor
when you're feeling healthy you go to
the doctor when you're feeling sick
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you have to go to the hospital i can
take your neck here i know but
okay well i don't think that you're
at a point where it's dangerous for you
to be out here
thank you um i'm just trying to offer
you the best help that i can
thank you yeah so nobody can get into
your apartment or anything right
i don't know where he went he's supposed
to be a security guard
did you call earlier no that guy was
john
well i mean it's it's a secure facility
for the most part right you either need
a key or a code to get
i haven't had no problem like the thing
is i can't rely like the whole
neighborhood is peaceful
yeah it's kids families
it's peaceful but it's like in my head
like i can't relax
like i'm always thinking like like like
in my head i can't
i'm always thinking like somebody's
gonna like rob
me or you know the dog's gonna bite me
or
i just i can't relax you know what i
mean like i can't relax in my head man
yeah well the other side of that is
there's a lot of people that feel the
same way as you
yeah doesn't mean there's anything wrong
with you
right i mean it's the west side it's
although this
little neighborhood might be quiet the
west side in general is kind of
dangerous
so a lot of people feel that way so that
doesn't mean there's anything wrong with
you because you feel that way yeah
but i don't know man uh
are you feeling a little bit better
after talking to us well that's good man
you finally smiled yeah
i appreciate that thank you
is there anything else we can do for you
tonight no i'm just glad y'all didn't
shoot me
well i haven't shot anybody today
all right thank you all right man yeah
have a good night
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