Hello everyone. Welcome to a beautiful Saturday. It's uh another live, another fumbling and bumbling. I have a special guest today, the lovely and talented Mrs. Shane, Miss Ashley. Not yet. Oh, good lord. So yeah, I had to beg her and bribe her and bribe her some more and find a pig video to get her to join us this evening. Could have been any animal, but pigs are my favorite. But we we're glad to have her, right? All you crazy regulars people, I need to acknowledge. Oh jeez, it's not showing up on my reream chat. Super G Craig has already had a membership. He got this at like seven, something like that. So, he's excited. He's ready to go. Welcome, Super G Craig. Great to have you. Um, of course I'm going to get distracted and caught up in the uh in the chats and my brain will wander off. Say something, darling. Hello, guys. Glad to be here. Yeah, she's excited. Oh, well. Yeah. So, Oh, jeez. legal fiction throwing out super chats already. Good to see you, buddy. Glad you're here. Glad you got them deep pockets. So, uh, the thing, um, you saw Ashley's new toy. Um, you guys haveounded me enough. I'm gonna let her tase me later. I'm not sure. I'm uh I'm not sure the conditions on it. I thought about putting like a a super chat dollar amount like 50 bucks to get it done and then I thought about like a total super chat by the end of the video, but we all know I'll end up doing it anyway. So, yeah, we're so done. Hopefully, we're all going to have a time. I promised her the pig video wasn't enough. I told her we'd do a pig and she um she she seriously considered it, but um you know I I had to sweeten the pot and seal the deal a little bit. Big's winding up. Oh, cool. Well, we're definitely definitely going to wait till big. We'll probably wait a little while, watch a video or two first. Sarah Wilhelm, thank you so much. Did you see that one? Yeah, I got a lot of uh um a lot of screens going and she's even worse at computers than I am. So, I don't know how to turn one on. She's going to be all over the place. Legal Fiction 20 gifted memberships. Wow, he's throwing the money out. We love you, Legal Fiction. Oh, I'm trying to catch up with these. Welcome, new members. Great to have you. I agree with the winter witch. I'm sure most of y'all have known. Y'all are probably begging to see this. And you know, you're all I'm sure you're all hoping I'll at least [ __ ] my pants. I am. We're hoping that don't happen. I know. I want My emergency pants are [Laughter] upstairs. Oh gosh. Oh, I missed you. Where'd you go, Chris? They kept jumping. Chris gifted 10 memberships. Chris is another regular. He's good people. Okay, we we don't mind him so much. No, these are all good people. Um quite a few of them stumbled onto the channel and and like what we're doing. Big sent us a bunch. He's uh he's been real good to me. His people are fantastic. Anybody watching, if you're not also watching Big and there is something seriously wrong with you and um go do that. I don't know if any of my mods are here yet, but somebody needs to throw up big link if you can sparkle $5. Thank you, Mrs. Shane, for sharing your hubby with us tonight. You're welcome. Did Did we get raided yet? U big was going to send his people when he was done. Another squid super chat. Five bucks. If you take it on your arm, use your non-riting arm. I'm not taking it on my arm. I'm a man who's gonna cry like a little baby. You know the things I do for you guys. [Laughter] Oh god. Yeah. Um kind of waiting for everybody to get here. How many we got on? We got 106 on already. So, um you guys want to start a video first? This one's about 16 minutes long. I promise this one for the misses. I do have an Acrite video. Um that's going to be the second one we do. I had since yesterday, I've had nine different people send me that one. So, yeah, we're going to do it and we might as well do it on the live because I really didn't feel like recording and putting out a video this morning. Do I have a comment up? Wait, well, it's my birthday and I get to see Shane get tased. Candy Cook. Sandy Cook. Sandy, happy birthday. Happy birthday. This is for you, Cindy. and [ __ ] your pants. And [ __ ] my pants. Big still got videos rolling. Okay. I'm sure I'll see a big jump. He's usually He usually brings a crowd when he stops by. So, we're going to go ahead and do a video, I think. Wait, I'm missing stuff. No [Music] member. Tammy Jeffrey Davis, welcome. I'm I'm still trying to figure out something really special to do for the members. Uh haven't figured it out yet. Uh I'm a very busy man and I'll get around to it pretty soon. I got two weeks of vacation coming up soon and like a fiveday trip. So that's going to leave me time to to handle a bunch of odds and ends that I haven't Oh god, why did that pop up? All right. So, without further ado, we're going to do Ashley's video. She She hasn't seen it. I picked it for her, but I know it's going to be a good one. Where's my button? Okay, here we go. Oh, wait. Hold on. 10 more gift memberships. I'm probably I don't usually get a lot of gifts and supers, but I'm going to try to pull them up and acknowledge them as we go. If not, I don't want to let them get backed up too far, but if they back up, if I miss anybody, I'm sorry. I'm going to try to acknowledge everybody because you guys are 1,000% appreciated. All right, we're we're gonna roll with this. Everybody okay with that? Oh, also I forgot about this. I had my equipment do uh two cameras, two mics, all that stuff. I've got all this equipment and none of it is compatible with each other apparently. So, I got to sit next to her even though she's armed. And we're sharing a mic, so I apologize if the sound is not the best. But here we go. And there's no audio for the first couple seconds. I hope the audio comes on. Oh, piggy piggy. Claire thanks whoever gifted her that. Oh, it's a pretty one. Why am I not getting audio? I'm gonna give it a few more seconds and then I'm going to cuss it and bang on it and Oh gosh. Little legs go. Pigs are really fast. There it goes. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here, baby. I want one so bad. There you go. A whole farm of them. There you go. Doesn't be close enough to the house for me to I'm going to head to call her 8-year-old granddaughter. Sorry, I'm addicted. Did I get I get taser head going keep saying 8-year-old snitch I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him. But I do. Don't encourage him. Yes. Come on now. Little pigs turn into big pigs. You can ride them. That's the thing. I don't even want a dog. Oh my goodness. Did they lose it? Come here. Come here. 5031. Have oneick. Hop in. Hop in. Maybe should y'all silly. He's right here. Come here. Come here, baby. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. T's the walking beacon. You're mean, Russ. Yeah. What? I a do nothing. Eat us some Cheerios. Cheerios. It's a pee. You'll eat anything. Cheerios. Helia, the new Silver Caddy four. It's been parked in front of the car's house. It hasn't moved. Not sure if it's stolen or what that work was another regular. He's a good people. It might. What did he say? What' you say? What? They need cereal. It'll eat. Way to go, Reena. They should have called you. Okay. Don't make any noise. We finally got him here. We're not helping you. I'm sorry. Officer get a blanket. See, they said get it some cereal. That's a good question. Legal fiction. What? I don't know. A little foreshadowing. The funniest part of the whole video is something better than I could have ever come up with. What one of the cops say when they finally get him in the car. Spoiler alert. But yeah, we have to be quiet when it's near time to get in the car. Can you handle that? No, I can't. Time out. You guys comments are going too fast for me to hit the the right one. Jonathan Pog $2 super chat. Thank you so much. you. We greatly appreciate. I'm drinking that fancy beer tonight cuz you know I'm classy like that. We ran out of box wine cuz it's delicious. What are you going to do? All right, back to the paint. You want to do this? You got experience with this? Oh, hell yeah. being serious. I thought he grabbed a handful of heat and the bag that maybe I don't know. If you do, just go straight underneath his belly and rub your hand right to the center of his breast bone so you can keep his face flown away. That sounds pretty simple. [Music] Rain a new member. Welcome. Glad to have you. Get him through the head. Hey, baby. Stand up. We can't get a good view on your camera. Come here. I need to see the pig. Come here, baby. A little better. There's no excuse for poor posture. I don't know. He's got a bolt. As soon as he hears you, that's what I said. They going to tase him. Come on. If they tase his pig and you let me watch it. No spoilers. Or not? No. But if you don't want to be filmed, just go inside. I'm just going to really hate Jackass. I already know who you are. This is for the pig. Come on. N may not let go. Put that back. Oh god. They got a pile of right there. What is it with Columbus and them just having pet pigs everywhere? I don't know, but I love it. Come on. This is the second one they've had to chase. And there was another video that was also from Columbus. And uh the the footage wasn't clear enough. I found a different Here, here, here. Here. Come on. [Music] He is traveling. He doesn't even like Zane. Man, you made it. Glad to see you. Welcome. Fat out of soup chat. Thank you, my friend. You haven't missed much. They're just chasing a pig. A cute one. Oh, I forgot the airplane. I'm so bad at this. It's so much fun, though. Come on. Here. [Music] He's been out for a while. Engine 183. Little hungry. Do you have any more of those? Yeah, I got a back there. She's not pregnant. She's just fat. She can't use that excuse. Since you're not so huge into body cam stuff, probably won't get some of these jobs. I get them all though. Come on. If he'd find this food over here, he'd come over here. I'm gonna pause it. Fairness. We had a neighbor who lived down the road, had pigs and hogs. He used to hire the neighborhood kids to help with the castrations in the fall. Oh my god. Mhm. I'm gonna step over and get a beverage. Baby, tell them a pig story. Well, one time I was about 13 years old. Uh my mom was watching this old man and his daughter had a pig, a little pot belly. It was a baby and they named it Elvis, but they gave the pig to me and it was a girl, so we named it Lucy. It got big quick and I had some family from Connecticut come down and I hopped on that pig and smacked its butt and took off. Oh my gosh. You ain't got no family in Connecticut. All right. Maybe you do. I don't know. The produce. How you know? You haven't met most of my family. I wish you would have got me one. But yeah. Come on. Gigs are welcome, buddy. Oh lord. Come here. Big done raided us, didn't he? Come here. Are you here? I thought I saw Big. Welcome, my friend. There he is. Welcome Biggin. Welcome Big and crew. It's wonderful to see all you guys. I'm glad you came. Um, for those that weren't here in the beginning. Um, this is the lovely and talented Mrs. Shane, the lovely Ashley. She has a new toy. And can I show them again? Yeah, you can show them. And I'm going to hate myself here in a little while. You love me. But yeah, I make fun of so many people getting tased that, you know, it's only fair that I should take one, too. The only problem is they get 50,000 votes of Act, right? And this one's like 2.4 million. So, so this is going to be fun. Legal Legal Fiction gifted 20 memberships. Thanks again, my friend. These other people, I'm sure. Thank you as well. too many to welcome them all one at a time. I don't reach so good. So, I'm scrolling through now to see who's doing what. Uh again, welcome Big and crew. It's wonderful to have you. I know y'all are good people because if you wasn't, Big would have had you booted. And we'll get you a drink. Actually, Carrie T definitely not Carrie would uh would have you booted and Jojo and all his other kick-ass mods. I love I love that those mods are so gung-ho and happy to help. Just about all of my mods came from Big. There may be one or two more, but you know, all the good ones anyway. Megan's excited. Sorry, I'm trying to dig through the chats. I got backed up. Who's watching the children before you get zapped? We ain't got no kids tonight. Yeah, the the children are with their respective other parents. That's what's awesome about uh stepchildren. Um we can send half of them to the other parent, half of them to the other parent. We don't have any kids together, which would probably be a nightmare because there's nowhere to send them for the weekend. Mama pop. I saw a message somebody sent to you, but I got behind and couldn't. Okay. Well, we're going to finish the pig video and then we'll get into some more of this stuff. [Music] Keep her almost got her. [Music] That's a that's an emoji. You mind if we take this guy here? Oh, thank you. Dev, my concern is not losing my hat. Um, my concern is I've had a little bit of bubble gut today and I'd much rather lose all my hats than what I'm afraid is most likely going to happen. I can't get around you. This is Columbus. They love their pigs in Columbus. Try not to let go. She'll make some noise, but any available freeway to channel? Sounds like the perfect place to have. Yeah, you got to get her cornered. Hey, Chad, let me go around the front and try and get her back this way. As long as it's not a code brown, I'm okay with it. Oh, by the way, like I said, I don't know what mods are on. I know I got a couple of them on here. Um, somebody throw Biggin's channel up again, please, if you haven't. I mean, I know his people are here and they know where it's at, but some of my people might not. So, definitely promote him. He's good people. He's got the best chat on the internet and uh he's been awful good to me. Time out. Oh, it won't show up now. What just happened? There we go. Avalanche and Broncos. Broncos fan, I did get your email the other day. I don't know if I replied to it or not. Um I think I may have been in the middle of something and didn't get a chance to reply, but I did get your email. Um you you told me all your aliases, but I don't recall all of them. I know if I see them, but thank you Avalanche and Broncos fan. You're the real hero. I saw another super. Where' that come from? Right there. Susie G for $5. Didn't you just get a membership, too? Something I don't remember. I just saw you. My memory is not so good either. But thank you, Susie G. We appreciate it. Um, I'm going to take all the supers tonight. And she's not going to get any because I'm gonna I think I'm going to earn them. What? any of the super chats we get, they're they're mine. You don't get them because you get to tase me. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. I mean, that's only fair, right? I'm quite fond of her. Come here. Come here. Come here, baby. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Oh, that would have worked. Thank you, RO of anger. I appreciate that. There you go, big and got you. Bunch of landmines around here. Mary Beth, you're going to love it. Good time. She's going to go into that truck. Think she will? Yeah, they're smart. under the truck. Couldn't be a bad He was That's why I picked this. Can you get her out front? Come here. Another big video to get her to come on. Come here. Grab her by the tail if you can. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Don't let her out the back. Don't let her out the back. There she goes. Any food is legal fiction trying to get me divorced. She'd call the cops on me for sure. What? Unless she's volunteering to be tased, too. Oh, hell no. Yes, they're smarter than dogs. They're very smart. A pot belly pig. Yeah. If you can kind of close in, we'll close her up against that wall. Oh, come here. When I'm talking about Susie. Yeah. No. I should read it all before I say anything. I need a board. I got plywood or something. That was a mess. Another food's over there. She's like, "Wait a second. I've been here before." No. No. What are you doing, dog? Let her find that food. Let her find that food. He's trying not to spook her. Yeah, he's moving away. He's taking it one. Are pigs like dogs if you chase them when they run? Not that food. I just tell them to go away and they come right up to me. We'll go to Columbus and save his pig. I don't want to go to Columbus. Oh, look how beautiful. I want to hug you. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Shh. Shh. You're all right. Look. Look. Look. You're all right. You're all right. Come on. You can do it. Come here. You're all right. There we go. Come here. Did stumble on an emu farm one time. [Music] Sorry guys, I should have did a headphone warning on that. I meant to. I forgot. Dennis Samuels for $20. How do y'all make there ain't any glass tables nearby? No. No, there are not. Although I should have gotten some carpet or a nice soft rug just in case. Well, we got that futon. want to lay down. That's all right. I don't want you to break my futon. I want the full effect. If the criminals get to fall on their face and crack their heads open, then I do, too. It's only fair, right? Yes. Just don't crack your head. You're fine. You're fine. Hush. Hush. You're good. She 104. [Music] You're not going to be 104. [Music] You're all right. No, he's not happy. He couldn't be more gentle with that PE. If he was more gentle, he drop it. Two of my cats just jumped. Another squid for $5. $5 Canadian. You missed the opportunity to say squeal like a piggy. What am I some heck that's gonna throw? Yeah, I did miss. I just totally said that. I'm pregnant. I can't breathe. I didn't do nothing. [Laughter] Supervisor. See, my friends are fun. [Music] Thank you, Carrie. But not car. You want my I got body camera that whole thing. I got body cam that the whole thing. There you go. Officer, what's being charged with? All right, listen closer. Homicide. Hamicide. What's he being charged with? Hamicide. Oh, that's great. I I love it. I thought it was hilarious. There's your video. You made the apprehension. There's part one of your uh Oh, I didn't mean to do that. Okay. I'm gonna try to figure out not that one. That one. Yeah. Next we'll have the the actrite video that people kept sending me over and over and over. um catch up on some of these chats real quick. I've been trying to keep up with them. Um not just the supers, but I try to read all you guys' chats because I want to know what you guys got to say. And I need to turn my Discord notifications off on my PC because they keep coming. Yeah, he said homicide. That's the That's the funniest thing you'll hear all night, including me squealing louder than that pig did. Oh, I'm so excited. I bet you are. All right, let's see. You and Ashley are too cute together. Love it. They're going so fast. I can't see it. Somebody throwing out gifted memberships, but I didn't get the Oh, wait. There it is. Vicky Johnson gifted out five memberships. Thank you, Vicki. You the real MVP. What else we got in here? Okay, I think I'm caught up on some chats, some members Um, but if you slow the chat, then I won't be able to randomly see what people are typing. My email's on the channel page and the uh descriptions of all the videos. It's just Shane's dumb criminals, no punctuation atgmail. But I I'm I'm sure Carrie or somebody will post it. The very bad part. She had to go tell her son. That's all right. I'm going to be telling that one forever. Hicide. Where'd it go? [Music] There you go. What are we looking at? Um, actually the I don't know. Okay, hold on. Um, I'll go I'll go back up to that one. Michael K. Um, you don't know how bad I was thinking about that earlier when I was like, you know, oh god, my belly hurts. This is not gonna be a good time. You guys will love it. Yeah. All right. What's Which one was I looking for? Up one. She's from the holler. I'm from Printer Holler. Boone County. Boone County. West Bagod, Virginia. Place you don't want to go to a lot there. It's um not now. coal mines and hollers and um addiction and despair. But she escaped when I was 18. Welcomed her to the big city. I like the hollers. Where we at? [Laughter] Okay. You guys just don't understand the the dialect from the the village that she grew up in in Mary old England. Oh, that time. They'll wait for you. Go right ahead. I told you to pee before we got in the car. I did. I did. I'm excited. I did. I'm excited. See, she's having fun. and she didn't think she was going to have fun. This is just not her deal. I mean, she she has fun every time I have her on, but she's like, "I don't know. I get so nervous and yada yada yada." And she's peed probably 20 times and she was shaking and stuff when I was trying to get everything set up and in frame and all that stuff. Thank you, Kate T. Definitely not Carrie. I kind of like her myself. Anybody that will put up with my nonsense and [ __ ] I they're all right in my book. She's good people. So, uh, I guess I'll hold off on that video for a minute. D, you didn't miss much. Uh, Columbus PD wrangled a pig again. Um, the misses bragged about being able to to get me some acrite here in a little bit. [Music] [Laughter] Um, oh my god, I cannot figure out how to turn Discord off. Babe, you need to see this one. Talk of crap. No, no. I was very polite and considerate and um um respectful. That's the word. It happened so seldom I don't remember it. Careful. Your better half will open Shane's wife's dumb criminals channel and outdo mine. Oh, that was Chris. Smart ass. Okay, who's ready for another video? Pork chops sound. This is an Acrite video that a bunch of people sent me. Um, it might take me a minute to figure out how to pull it up. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? Okay, so um um there are a lot of great female police officers out there. This isn't one of them, but she does eventually get around to deploying the actite. And um this lady does a nice little um timber step as a board face plant. Now you're getting [Laughter] it. All right. Uh welcoming new people that just showed up. Hello. But um yeah, we're we're gonna hit go on this one. Why is it There we go. I had a wrong view. I don't know why it does that. Okay. Sorry. That hurts, but I don't know how. One second. Stop pulling. Okay, then do it correctly, little man. On October 20th, 2024 in Illinois. Police were called after a woman was seen acting erratically and throwing items in a lobby. When officers arrived, she refused to cooperate. Hi. Don't shock yourself. Oh, yeah. Car. I don't want to ride in her car. These are disgusting. I lost the toe. What's your I don't care. Judge me. I look ugly. I don't care. You two. I don't think you look ugly. Whatever. Sure you don't. Sure you do. I don't. What? What's your name? It's too bad. Him. Get him away. Go. Get the baby away from him. Okay. Give me the baby. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. I will out of you. I'm not doing it. You're coming to me, [ __ ] No, I'm not. Stop. Stop. Do not. No. I will tase you. You want to tase? I will tase you. Sit the taser. Sit down. Not for you. Sit down. I will tase you. Give me it. I will tase you. I will tase you. Sit down. Give me it. Stop. I'm not going to do it to you. You're my You're my sister in Christ. Sit down. Then get on the ground. Get off the ground. Thirsty. I'm thirsty. Water. Not eat. Why are you so upset? Because sweet talk coming with me. That's why. Okay, cool. Stop meeting. Sit down. I don't want to you. Then what? You're Sit down. Sit down. You get that way with me. Stop. Then stop. Stop it. Give me your arms. Give me your arm. I want to go with you. Stop. Don't help me. Drop yourself barking like long before this. [ __ ] [ __ ] pause it. Get him, Ashley. I'm going. I'm going in. That's not funny. It It kind of is. Another woman that just needs to be told to calm down. It works every time. You need to calm down. Don't make me. They really love it when you tell them my mother was right about you. You can see he hasn't used it on me yet cuz he's still alive. Yeah. But anyway, um she she got that first taser. It probably got Colleen in her sweatshirt. And right about now she's thinking that taser ain't [ __ ] I ain't scared of her. Little does she know. [Laughter] I didn't think you were going to laugh that much. Well, she went to pong. All right, I'm I'm back that up a little bit. Oh, [Laughter] wait. Sparkle boots with a super. $5. Ashley has to co-anchor all lives now. Awesome team. Well, thank you. I'm cool with it. Sometimes we do have kids. I got to keep them entertained. Oddly enough, I actually enjoy spending time with my wife. I I know that can seem kind of rare sometimes. Oh god. Charizard. I always say that wrong. I I apologize. fourmonth membership. Congratulations on the milestone. So glad to have you. Glad you keep coming back. And 336. Hell yeah. We're doing good. All right, let's let's watch this again. Stop. You snorted. Don't even put your hand behind your back. I watch a lot of these tasers and they're funny as [ __ ] They do entertain me, but I've never snorted much before. Oh my god. The way she just plump. I just You think that's funny? Why will I do it? I know. I was working in my head. That was supposed to been a joke. Put your hand behind your back. Hunter has Put your hand behind your back. Yeah, that's why they're blur. YouTube doesn't knock it off. Knock it off. Oh my gosh. [Applause] All right, guys. Guess I know. Weird, bro. Stop moving. Who are you? Stop moving. Wait, what? Please leave me alone. Welcome, baby. Stop. Sit down. Don't move anymore. Stop moving. What did I say? Stop it. You guys got probes that arm. And I had to shoot it twice the first time, didn't you? All right. So, I had to shoot her twice. Yeah. No, those are staying locked on. Sorry. All right. Bla, that's your taser. Hang on, guys. I'm going to secure this. So, I'm moving and stop talking. I've had enough. Got probe in the leg and then an arm. Arm. All right. That's all right. Buckwell. Best. You want to secure in the car? Yep. Browneyed girl. 499 super chat. So much fun. Ashley is adorable. Her laugh makes me laugh. That's what sealed the deal. That's That's what got me. Just just that unrestrained just Wait till it gets really loud. Oh god. Oh yeah. Let her get a couple more beers deep. That'll be [Laughter] hilarious. Unfortunate unfortunate auto. Down goes Frasier. You're way too young for that reference, but still. All right. We're stand up. All right. Right here. You got anything on going to stick us or poke us? Missing it. Thank you for watching the replay. Can you please give me a Hold on. Relax. Relax. No. Unless I poop myself, then I'm not going to post a replay. You're being searched right now. Where are you? Yeah, it is. It was legally letting on. Yeah, your hands pretty swollen out. Yeah. Okay, I'm not running away. I promise. Okay, relax. Just relax. All right. Okay. But they got medic on the way. Okay, hold on. If she ever gets down car, you're fine. Relax. She just She hit you. It was bad. She started punching me and hit me and then she tried to go for my gun and she choked me. She tried choking me. I should have tased her sooner and then she calmed down. Hey, it's okay. See, exactly. Um I don't I don't know if she's new to the job or if she's just not cut out for it, but her performance wasn't really impressive to me. because she put herself, she got too close to the suspect and she was by herself. She was already acting erratic. She threatened to tase her. It didn't work. And then she still took a few steps toward the officer and you fire up that lightning bolt and you you drop her at that point. What am I looking for? at DB. Where's that? Sorry, we're looking at two different chats. Okay, going up up. [Laughter] Yes, that one. She's going to insist, I'm sure. We'll see what we can do. I know, but just like they say, I should have chased her sooner. We got her. That's all that matters. Okay. You're okay, right? I'm fine. I'm just like, what the car? You're fine. Is bl put her in my car. Okay. Does that work? No way. Actually, she's pretty. Okay. Is he going to do? Yeah. Um, she's leaving. I know. Well, just go. I don't have any friends. Okay. Was my family. Okay. Actually car the car relax. Okay. Just sit up. Sit down. Just sit down. That's what I'm going to be doing here. Get those probes out. But I need you to sit down and relax. Well, I don't like that. Okay. Just relax. Just relax. Relax. Relax. Okay. We're We're going to get him out. I need you to relax. Pull down your shirt. Yeah. One second. All right. All right. So, there's one up here. Let me take a moment. Yep. Okay. Arm and arm. No. No. Don't move. Don't. Turn around. Turn around. Right there. Where are we going? We're staying right here. Get one of her face. You hit her head. Yeah, I agree. Spin around. Turn around. Turn around. Face that way. Okay. Face that way. All right. Hopefully, she knows better than me. And then her hands is bleeding. Oh, that buff on hand. Yeah. Get the Can you get Can you get a little bit more on this side here? I'm trying to take it easy, David. Just Just in the car. [Music] Put your legs in. It's so hot. Bring the officer back. N just sit right there. Perfect. Stop moving. Oh, Trey Jackson, you got a flip tool there first. It's going to be okay. Deep breath. You're not even going to feel anything. Just relax. Ready? One, two, three. Feel anything. It's a taser pro. Taser. You have one more. Watch out. That one opened up. Matt, that one open. Watch out. I'm trying the wagon roll though. Not me. Don't take too. [Music] Next one. Hold on. Here. Come here. Come in here. Come here. Come here. Right there. Deep breaths. Deep breath. Okay. It's going to be on three. One, two, three. It's another taser probe. Okay. I got to check your body. Make sure you have no more. Okay. You're good. Deep breath. She didn't jump her neighborhood watch. She um she took a couple aggressive steps towards her after the officer was trying to control her deescalator verbally. Um yeah, and then there was a little scuffle. I don't know what all happened in the scuffle. Look, I don't do anything. You're going to stay right there for now. One of you guys need What happened? Okay. Um, I show up. She's sitting in the flower pot sitting there. She's calm at first. She's like, "I don't want to go with her." yada yada. She like something about I'm ugly. I don't get her away from me. Get them away from me. Talking about a baby. So, I don't know if there's a baby over there. And then she starts like getting all aggressive and stuff. And then she starts getting up like she's going to start charging at them. So, I grab onto her. And that's when she like initially started trying to fight me. And then she put her hand up into my neck and grabbed it. It's going to start choking me. And like I'm face to face with her. I'm trying to get her to turn around, slam her up against the door. So I'm trying to get somewhat of any control I can on her cuz she's she's tense. Like she's strong. Like Yeah, I know. I can tell she's pulling the way she's and then she tries to when I key up like I need help, you know? She tries to key up and then she reaches around trying to grab my gun and then um she then she like gets me into headlock for like a second and she starts wailing on my head and starts hitting the [ __ ] out of my head and then anyway I broke free from her and that's when I just ta I tased her finally. Okay, I should have tased her sooner. I know what they teach you all the time. You should tase her sooner. Why are you threatening tasing if you're not going to do it? I'm like, well, she calmed down finally when she saw the taser. So, I was like, okay, like maybe we can deescalate this and then that's what she just was like zero. Okay. So, it was probably a disaster if you watched the body. It happened all in front of all of us. We've all been there for pretty good. Was that was she bleeding from her hand when you got here or is that No, she wasn't bleeding at all. Relax. Relax. Stop. Relax. Relax. It's okay. Right there. Still, please. We're taking pictures. We're only taking pictures. We have to. You're okay. You're okay. You're fine. Okay. Okay. Can you take me? Please. Spin around. Check the other side. Face yourself. I'm not going to do anything. Okay. Come here. Spin around. Breathe. I want to check your left arm. See, that wasn't too hard, right? Okay. Let me see this arm. That's all four. Okay. Spin around again. Sit back in the car and please take a deep breath and relax. I love a good door slam. Do me a solid. That's going to help you out the best right now. Okay. I've got the window down so you can breathe better. Okay. Right now, we're just going to sit here and then probably go to the hospital. Okay. Cuz your hands are bleeding. Your head's bleeding. Okay. So, we'll get you off to the hospital. You You were fighting with the police. I was I was late to show up, so I'm not too sure. But that's why you're bleeding is what I've been told. So, just relax. You're bleeding because you fall down. Huh? What? Uh because of this. Jesus. Can you stop saying Can you roll that off, please? Hold on. Hold on. If you keep yelling, I'm closing the window. Please just do me a favor. Be a big girl and sh You are going to go to the hospital. Okay. You don't have a choice. You are going to the hospital. Okay. Are you kidding me? In custody. I don't What's your first name? What's your first name? Please. Why? Dude, I want to talk like human to human to you right now. I don't even know. You don't know your first name? I can't believe you love this. What is your first name? I don't. We're trying to help you. Figure it out. Okay, it's it's it's Adrian. I'm in the white shirt at this point. Hello, I'm Kelly. I'm a paramedic with the ambulance. My name is Adrian. Adrien. Yes. Okay. Can you try to calm down? We need you to try to calm down, Adrien. I just Do you have any medical history? Yes, but anxiety you guys leave. I was put a cuff on there to get ready, please. You're in front of What's going to happen if you're going to get out of the car? You're going to sit on the stretcher. You're going to put your hands down at your side like you hold your under the side the side rails. Okay. You are going to the hospital and police. Okay. Uh Buck Wild, unpopular opinion. I don't think females should be patrol officers. I watched a video the other day. Some tweaked out dude was on top of the male officer trying to get his gun. The female officer, he must have ran out of room. I'm I don't want to say that females shouldn't be patrol officers, but they should definitely if they don't have back up close, they should have a partner with them because it's not that difficult for a man, especially if he's doped out of his mind or if he's just a bigger fella, to overpower a woman. I mean, she's got those tools at her disposal to to escalate the use of force, but they're not always ready to use them. And sometimes you don't get a chance to. So, it if a female is going to do well as a patrol officer, she has to be really good and really well trained and smart enough to know when to pull out the tools and, you know, when to try to deescalate and wait on backup. I say, "Right on, girl. Do it if you're capable." Yeah. I mean, yeah. I think everybody should have somebody riding in their vehicle with them. Not Not even not just females, men, too, because you never know. I I agree with that for sure. I mean, where I'm from, we always had two people in the car. Yeah. But that's because it takes like 45 minutes for backup to show up. Yeah. They're afraid to go up. cops are so afraid. But right on to the female cops. That's what I was getting at Legal Fiction. I tend to ramble and stuff don't come out right. So if it sounded any different than you know he said what I meant to. Okay. Agreed. Mrs. Please 10,000%. That's about all I've got here. You're fine. You're rational that when you guys got here the whole time. I don't like Okay. Are you ready to go? What triggered this? I hate it. He'll probably do your head. Who do you hate? Can you relax? No. She called one of us. Please. I want to be like, all we're going to do, listen to me. All we're going to do, we're going to get out of the car. We're going to walk over here. We're going to As far as like investigative officers, like detectives and stuff, I I would almost rather have a woman doing it because they're really good at digging up old [ __ ] especially like cold cases. But um yes, street cops, I think they should be more choosy about it, but there are definitely some women that can kill it on the streets. Sit down. Okay, that's all we're doing. I'm going to hold on to the whole time. Okay, ready? Okay, go ahead. No, we got to get out and sit down like I just said. Can we open it? You're okay. You're okay. Right there. Right there. Have a Have a seat. Have a seat. Have a seat. You're fine. Her hand, right hand, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine. One of you guys come over. If you want to fine, you're fine. Relax. Relax. You're okay. I did armed private security for 5 years and unarmed for one. I've also participated in WWF style wrestling for a year and a half. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, Sy's a badass. She's allowed to be a cop. Sorry. It hurts, but I know how. One second. Stop pulling. Okay, then do it correctly, little man. I just hit me then. I don't care. I I obviously go against, but not anymore. I'm trying. Adrian, do you know where you're at? Yes, I'm in justto or where? Hang on. N you're okay. Hang on. You're okay. What city are you in? I did. Hang on. Or Crystal City. But I don't know. But I just How did you get here? Um, yeah. Uh, because Hang on. Hold on. Relax. Relax. Just listen to the rest. You got to call them. Just breathe. Just breathe. We're secured. Do you want to I want to be with God. I want to be I want to be in heaven. I don't want to get away from me. What happened today that got you so upset? It's every day. I don't Chris gifting up memberships again. Thank you. You guys are fighting over my affection. And you know, news flash, you're all getting it. You're like, you're like my kids. You're all my favorite except for that one that knows he's the favorite. And you know, he's the good one. Congratulations, new members. Uh, thank Chris for the new memberships. Can we check the crazy drug poll? Maybe if I can figure out how. What are we looking at? Oh, 59% crazy, 41% high. I say both. 95 votes. You want me to keep it going? Yeah, keep it going till the end of the video. All right, I'll keep it going. I don't know. I don't forget to do this anymore. I know what to do. This woman's cycling. God, I love you. Okay. I'm the only one. You're not a guy. Okay. That was rude. Does that bother you? I'm not a sane person. You better get out. Please, we have to help you, ma'am. Lay back. What are you looking at? What? Just look away. You don't give a anyway, do you? So, why are you looking at me? Did you use drugs? No. Don't ever disrespect Russ. If we were like your kids, you're going to send us away and we won't be able to watch the chat. They can watch the chat if if they're, you know, watching it on their phones or something. Y'all better be hitting that like button or else you're grounded. Yeah. But yeah, I get it. You're not sending them away, letting them wear the pants. Hold your hold your arms out just so we'll double check. She was literally like wailing on my head. Like she was like she was hitting the out of me and then she again like she started she's like I'm going to grab your gun like reaches around on me and then again she like put her hand and it was like the most terrifying look on her face like she's trying to choke me. I was like what the she needs to go to jail. Oh yeah, dude. She wailed on me like take your time and whatever you can think of to charge her with, we'll charge her with. We're not. The woman was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and aggravated battery on a police officer. If she is convicted, what do you think the punishment should be? Drop your opinion in the comments. Hit like and subscribe for more videos. Good kid. All right, let's go back to this while I pull up another video. I'm going to need a beer and probably a pee. Got one more video I wanted to do and then we'll do the actite. But if you want to see the act right before the next video, we'll do it for a $50 super chat. Or you can wait until after the next video. Totally up to you guys. I'm leaving it I'm leaving it up in the air there. What am I looking for? I knew that one. That was gonna be fun. Oh, Brian, that's harsh. You know, I'm still gonna do a Taser Tuesday. No Taser Tuesday if you don't hit the like button. Oh, no. He's still doing it. I would not punish anybody in in that kind of way. [Laughter] Sh possibly. You don't got You don't got to call me out on everybody. I'm super excited. I bet you are. I get to taste you. That's all right, Sparkle. It's still going to happen. I would I was just going to bump it up in the um um the the agenda if somebody were to throw that out, but that that's perfectly fine. We broke, too. Dennis Samuels 1999. Here's my portion. Ah, god damn it. Legal fiction. What? I feel like what's that mean? We're not going to do it cumulatively, Dennis. You don't got to We're not going to add them all together. But it turns out legal fiction hates me. [Laughter] Oh god. All right. I I definitely have to pee first, but we'll do it before the video. Do what? I told him if I got the super chat, we'd do it before we did the next video. What? What do you think? Oh, me tasing you. What have you been excited about all day? I don't know what's going on here. I'm trying to It's okay, guys. She's learning. Not you specifically, Legal Fiction, but for some reason, I thought for sure you would be the one to come out with that. Better pee first. Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely going to pee first. And you know, Legal Fiction hates me, so I get it. I still love you, Legal Fiction, but you know, go poop, too. [Laughter] I'll be cleaning crap up tomorrow. Steve Schwarz for $10. You two are great together. Very fun. Yeah. Y'all to see the stairs we get when we're out in public. People don't know what to think, but we have fun. All right, I'm gonna take that down. You entertain everybody. I'm going to pee. Can you grab me a beer? And do some refills. Um, entertain these people. If somebody throws up a super I don't know how to work. I'm trying to show you. Take this, put the arrow on it, and click it, and it turns up green, right? It'll pop up on the screen just like another squid for $2 Canadian. Put the mouse on it. Click it and it pops up. Okay. How do I get it off there to do another? We salute you, Legal Fiction. Click it again. Or if it scrolls all the way to the top, it'll say hide in the chat. I'm only going to be gone a second. I will completely try. I'm not going to squeeze that poop out. I'm gonna let that happen on camera. Yeah. All right, I'll be right back. Chat on to my friends. I'm going to, but what? Trying to figure out how to reach the mouse. Come on, honey. No, it's fine. Go pee. I've seen a lot of y'all talking about veterans. [Music] Um, my nephew just joined the Marines. I'm so terrified. I raised this boy right out of high school. He joined the Marines. Best decision he ever did. I just miss him bunches because I don't know where he is. You guys are doing great. Well, thank you. I don't know how to read these comments. I'm sorry, guys. But I don't know what to talk about. What can we talk about? Well, thank you. I don't know your name. I am precious. No faith in you. Oh, thanks. Ashley, I believe in the Air Force. Oh my goodness. That That's scary. I mean, my baby, I don't even know where he is. And he gets to come home in July the 1st, though. I'm excited. Yeah, I've seen a lot of things of veterans. But he's my baby. He's 19. I raise him starting in junior high, going to school, coming home, take care of him. My son is in 21 years. Nice. Tell us embarrassing stories about Shane. Hey, I can hear you. Okay. Not why he's here. Oh. Oh, wow. Where'd it go? Pull it up. There we go. EGP. Where is that? It's $30 US. Nice. Because I really am not good at Googling conversion rates. Thank you. You're gonna have to spell that out phonetically for me. I always say Charizard because um my kids used to be into the Pokemons, but I've seen you and talk to you all the time. I don't know why I can never get your name right. How could you raise an 18-year-old? No, he was born when I was in in uh middle school. She's she's older than 18. I did find me a young, but you know, she's I'm 34. You know, woman math. She's at least 62, right? No, maybe I was in high school. I don't know. I don't know. But I was in the same school for junior high, high school, couple. Yeah. She got her a trophy husband. I mean, I got a trophy wife. You got a trophy wife. All right, we're gonna do this. Charzad, thank you. Idaho Wiggles. Quit star. All right. All right. Oh, God. The things I do for you people. How many we got watching? 329. God, that's the biggest crowd I've had, I think. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Let's do this. All right. Where Where do you want to get me? Where do you want me to get you? It's up to you. It's your body. My body, my choice. Hold on. I'm a little nervous, guys. I'm not. I really am. H sorry I can't see the chat from here so I'll only see a couple of them. Oh god. Already peed a little. I'm gonna pee myself cuz I'm laughing so hard. All right. Give me y'all give me on the butt cheek. You don't have no metal or nothing? No metal. Nothing in my pockets. Like right here. This is going to suck. This is going to suck so bad. I'm about to pee now. Hold on. I may need to hold on. Nothing in your way, right? No. No. Right here. Yeah. Ready? No. Why would I be ready for this? Taser. Taser. Taser. Oh [ __ ] Oh my god. [Music] [Laughter] I didn't poop. She peed. [Music] Oh my god. That's the greatest thing ever. Oh my god. That hurt like hell, y'all. Oh. Yeah, that hurt. I shouldn't have picked the butt cheek. Y probably not going to be able to sit down now. Stings a bit. Oh, a little [Laughter] bit. I don't know. Buck wild. How much you got on [Laughter] you? God, that stinks. I guess I better learn how to act right, [Laughter] huh? Jonathan for two bucks. Oh my god. That's what I'm saying. Holy [Laughter] [ __ ] Babe, after you clean yourself up, you're going to have to go back through these chats. They're hilarious. [Laughter] Peanut mama, where you been? I have to go change clothes. Peanut mama gifted 10 memberships. Thank you, Peanut Mama. You're incredible. [Laughter] Oh my god. I was really hoping you'd crap yourself, but I peed. Sparkle boots for $2. Fix dump income be damned. That was [Laughter] priceless. Oh jeez. This is great. This is great. I pissed myself while they were watching. [Laughter] [ __ ] Let's do it again, [ __ ] Oh my god. Oh my god. So, so now I have every right to talk [ __ ] about people getting tased. How'd it feel like? Thanks, Cat in Virginia. You the man, Shane, I don't think I've ever laughed so long in my life. You nailed it. I did. I was scared. Like, nailed me right in the butttocks. I'm dying over here. Me too. Same. She hit the crown like a prom dress. [Music] That was awesome. Act right. Burn. I am not I'll show the burn marks, but that's on my only fans. That's not on the YouTube. I'll show you if I knew how to do it. Oh god. [Laughter] You're living my dream cuz I would I don't I definitely like to tase my husband at times. You're living the dream. I am. Yeah. I I might try to chop up like a uh at least a short or something out of that. That was the best thing, guys. You shut your mouth. I don't know about all that. What? We should do that more often. We should and Brock said again. Well, that's that's the craziest thing we've done on here. It's not always like that, but it's always fun. If you did this once per show, you'd be at 100,000 subscribers in a hurry. I mean, I'm going to join more of these. Turn the other cheek. Act right. Oh god, that was great. Peanut mama four months. Oh god, that still stinks. I can't wait to see your book talks. Buck wild. $5. Please, mama. Can I have another? Wahoo! Smart ass. Can I see the replay twice? Hit to keep my man card. Yeah. Period cramp simulator. I'm down. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Folded like a cheap suit. Did you see the $10? I haven't got there. I'm up way above it trying to I'm I'm taking them in. I I'll get down to the to the subs. Thank you. Unfortunate alter [Laughter] boy management. We're all sick sick people. That's why we That's why we do this. That was the first one. Bet there was a $100 on Super Chat. So, you get another Yeah, the the price might keep going up. We'll see. Oh, that was great. I'm still not caught up yet. Oh, that's good thinking legal fiction. I should clip that part from my Taser Tuesday intro. Yeah, I already did chess shark. I figured it out. Um I did it while that last video was playing. SDC won't show his butt, but $20 is $20. The family that tases together stays together. Yeah. Uh, what we got? This one right here is I know you're not there, but three cats in red. $10. Thank you so much. Would you do it again if you get a 25,000 by the end of June? Dude, I I'm hoping to have 25,000 by the end of May. They're they're trickling in. I'm 250 away. Oh, couple of ts together, stays together. What am I looking for here, darling? Are they down here? Right here. That one. Peanut mama. Thanks for the laughs, guys. It's been a rough one for me. It's the one year anniversary passing my husband. I needed that. Love you both. We love you, Peanut Mama. Yes, we do. You You've been with us with me anyway for a while. And um you know it um sorry to hear about your husband. Um I'm glad we can lighten the load at least a little bit. I know it's rough and it's always going to be. But you know if we can make you laugh once in a while then you know we're we're doing the best we can. And there's a um legal fiction. There's a lot of demand for pepper spray. Next Saturday. Oh, no. We're not doing pepper spray. Why? I haven't sprayed before. All right. Well, but but it'll make the whole house stink. Oh [ __ ] Take all this outside. I got too much equipment in here. So, we'd have to do it like on a on a phone or something. Yeah, on a phone or something. We have to do it outside. Carrie T, my vote is the labor sim simulator. Thank you bunches for your super chat. Come on, dude. You won't be able to finish the stream. Wait, Ashley's got this. Ashley does got this pepper spray Thursday. I was thinking maybe like Scoville Sundays gone. Something about Ashley's got this. I don't even know who said it. I'll find it. I'm way behind her on the chats. I'm trying to read as many of them as I can. I need to find my glasses. Everybody loves you, Peanut Mama. She be fine while he cries in the background. Ashley, you rock. Well, thank you. Uh, where we at? You told me her name. Carrie. Kyrie. Carrie. Carrie. Thank you, Carrie. Not Carrie. I used to call her Carrie. That's That's not Carrie. It's Carrie. She'll answer to both a couple of days. Respectfully, just I think I'm about caught up. Have a drink with my dinner. A red wine. What? A drink for her to go with her dinner. A red wine if you're having steak. or a nice cold Pepsi. I've got a 10 unit, but we kill the batteries on it within like 20 minutes each time. Well, if Jackass can do it 30 years younger than I am, then I can pull it off at this age, right? He got tased. He took it like a champ. Yeah. So, um, oh god, piss yourself. And I thought I was going to [ __ ] and you ended up pissing. myself. Oh god, that's great. [Laughter] I am sitting funny. If anybody wants to know if you haven't noticed, let me back this video up. Oh my god. Laugh through the whole movie, the whole video because All right. Oh, we may go again at the end. We'll we'll see how it goes. I get two or three more beers into me and I might have paid a little bit. Thanks for the $2. I paid my whole platter out. Oh god, it was best. I I loved it. We had a code yellow. [Laughter] Not funny, but too funny. Oh god. Oh god. Chris, you already clipped it. You son of a [ __ ] Clip what? The tasin. really wish I would have had my phone to record that. Nobody's going to believe me. Spider-Man, I pooped my pants for you. [Laughter] Oh, wait. Why does that keep doing that? Hold on. I saw one. I wanted to Excuse me. Tell them. We're going to show them. This is how you act, right, Junior? Oh god. Yes. Everyone hit that like button. Um I the things I do for you people. Are we going to do another video? Are we Are we hanging in for there? Let's do another video and I may end up doing enough doing another one before we end it. How tall is Ashley? She says she's 48, but I've known 48. So, I'm thinking 49. 410 is Well, we measured herself at that place at in Tennessee and 410. 410. I ain't very tall. She my little shotgun. Taller than what I thought when my doctor measured me. I told you stand up straight. All right. Um, another video. She is adorable. That's why I like her. What? Your wife is adorable. Oh, thank you. Okay. Um, I don't know how to describe this video. So Ashley will pee again if Yeah. Yeah. That that may be the plan. I think I can get her poop this time. Miss Shane can't act right. She'll pee yourself. Yeah, you can't act right. The kids, you pee yourself again. Oh my god. Why did you steal his hair? Why did you steal my hair? It was gone before I met you. Uhhuh. It's daddy's back. And that's what I tell people, [Laughter] too. I told you you'd have fun. Yeah, we got to do this more. Spider monkey. And a lot of people do call me a spider monkey. That's what I've told her before. She'll get pissed at me and I'm like, "Don't you go spider monkeying up on my head and beating the hell out of me. I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew. I'll climb you like a spider monkey." Nitro is even smaller package. Okay. Um, this next video, this one cracked me up. Um, this lady has an issue or two and um, she's a bit vocal about it and headphone warning on this one for sure. And if anybody can translate um, what the hell she's saying, I probably get it. I'm gonna I'm gonna highlight some more of these as we're watching this video. I will be on a lot more lives when we ain't got none of the kids cuz she loves me. Screw you. I'm having the time of my life. Which one is it? That one? Yeah, that one. Okay. All right. Who's ready to go? Mine. Chris, what the hell, man? He already He already clipped it and put it on his channel. I'm going to clip it, too. Damn it. Is the Ashley and Shane show? It's the Ashley and Shane show. Yes, it is. Chris got the entire thing, including the code yellow. Yeah. Crap. [Laughter] Oh god. Okay. Okay. I'm I'm gonna do this video. I don't know if you guys have seen it or not. It uh it came across my feed and I was like, "What the hell's going on here?" And I couldn't help laughing. So, here we go. Helen in jail. She experiences jail and she experiences goddamn handcuffs. Now, have you been offended as an American? Me, too. I don't want to be here. Take me to Africa, you sucking. On April 15th, 2025 in Ohio, police were called when a woman insisted on pressing charges because her package was left at the wrong door. I don't know what's going on, man. She was yelling her crazy [ __ ] threatening her. Okay, we'll see what the matter is. [Music] Is this at a nursing home? I think maybe a tiny house. The windows closed. Hello. Did you call? Is it Helen the cold? Yes. Okay. And then she's such a pleasant lady. I don't know why they're picking on her. I talked to Helen just for a minute. Yes. Hello. Are you Helen? Yeah. Did you have you said the the aid delivered a package or something? Okay. Gotcha. And they put it in front of my door and my aid just picked it up and brought it to me. Your aid? Okay. Got it. Look at it. And I just opened it and I saw that it was for her. As soon as I saw it for her, I took it to her. Okay. And I said I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to open this. I didn't even look at it. I said brought it to me and I didn't even pay attention. I'm still trying to figure out how to work that Discord. So, bear with me. But I got a lot of friends on there. But she took she actually took she has it in her apartment. She's trying she threw it in the hallway and was trying to give it to me and I wouldn't take it. I put it back by her. Okay. But she told me that she's going to file federal charges on me for opening her mail and that I'm the reason she's getting addicted. This is the third time that the laws come today. You're going to have to speak up. I was here earlier. Oh, were you? I know that one of them said that if she if she does it again, they won't take her. Yeah. See what we can do here. Yeah. I got to turn that back down now. Tanya, come to the door. Nobody here but us chickens. What's I know somebody broke a cell on my goddamn government phone and I am pissed. What's the matter this woman? I want press charges. This goddamn woman right here. I want press charges on her my government goddamn phone. What happened? She broke the cell. It's got 17 president sales. Press charges on her now. You have the phone. No. Looks like you do. I want this replaced. See this? See this? It's a goddamn government phone. The sale hasn't been broken. It's still uh I turned my Discord notifications off, but I can still hear it going. I think that's what keeps beeping. So, I I apologize. Leave Ashley alone. Shiny. Oh, now shut up. You see this truck? You see this pop right thumb? You see this thumb? See the thumb? You see the thumb? See the thumb? You see this numbers? You see this name numbers? You see name numbers for this security? My name is five letters. This witch phone pretty. And then you can click that. You click this. You click on my mother. You're done. You're under arrest. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. We're 17 guys. Now, who opened my phone? [ __ ] You three or four pairs of cups for her? I threw in the hallways. What? Candy waiting one for me just going get the government phone and somebody opened my mouth in a hotel. It quit ping on the screen and I'm still getting the Helen arrested too. We're both gun handcuffs. Get Helen, too. We're going together as twins. Get Helen. Let me pick up my trash. No. Get Helen. No. Quit yelling at me. I've had enough. No. Helen's going with me. She broke the sale. Give me a cell in my mouth. You need a cell in my mouth and my license. We're going to leave it there. No, you're not. You're locking my door. Give me my goddamn license and my purse. Where's your keys? You're giving me my license, my purse. Quick. You're locking the door. You're giving me my license, my purse, and taking Helen with me and cop. Where's your keys at? Get me my goddamn purse on my neck. My ID on my arms and crack the law. You threw the keys up on the fridge or was that just always on the hook every goddamn time. Where did the speed go? Banana back here. I changed the speed on it, but I don't know how I do the banana. There they are. What the hell's going on here? Technology. I hope so. The goddamn goddamn did it. right now. Okay, I'm done. I'm done playing mother now with me. All right, your apartment's locked. Okay, get the goddamn Did it. Let's go on a government song. I want to meet her. See this right here hotel? You see that goddamn You can walk it. I'm kicking the goddamn nut. You [ __ ] love you witch. You want to my mouth you dumpster in blood on Wi-Fi on your haunted hotel in Chile. Come on upside down your pole on 13 orbits of teeth. You suffered son of a mother. We got bear there and climb it like a monkey. I look like a monkey. Have a good night, guys. Code got tank out back. Got goddamn peace put on my neck. Did you get my purse? Put on my ice. My ass crack. You don't need it. I got [ __ ] to paint with. Calm down here. It's mother. That's where you're going. For Helen and Joe. She experiences and she experiences goddamn handcuffs. Is she schizophrenic? Handcuff. Granny, you sacrif start. You put Helen. Start knocking out some of the report. Get your ass in the car. You put Helen in the other goddamn house. Yeah. Beer cans fall out of my car when I open the door, too. I'm up with heavy. How much can you weigh? You want to unlock them so I can climb in. Okay. Let's play the game. Get on that side. All right. Come on. Don't break me. I have I'm a leg. I'm leg wheelchair. Stand arms. I do wear slow that down to half speed. I'm paraplegic. I can't. Is it 75? I'm handicapped. I can't. I have a whip handicap accessibility. I legally can't. Stand up. You dropped me on the goddamn floor. I fell. I had to hand to get out. You kept pulling. This is illegal racism. I'm a handicapped woman and I fell. He has to give me arms to stay under the handicapped woman. Give me a wheelchair. Is that cow tipping? Give me a chair. Abuse. There you go. Okay. Wait a minute. Thank you. So, slide in there. Don't cross my feet. Okay. Give me the breeze. Okay. Slide in there. Roll it on the window. Yeah. Is this in a wheelchair? This was unnecessary. Slide your feet in it. I'm annoyed. I won't watch you. We're not playing potato. Get in the car now. Taser. I can't. I got to catch my leg. Get in the car. I can't get my leg without you smashing it. You're going to have to help me with my left leg in cuz you're going to smash in the board. Sit up there on the seat where you can't because I don't have both hands. I'm short. I'm a muted deformer. I'm a turtle. You got a turtle backpack and you wrap my arms to a backpack. I'm a turtle and you wrap my arms to a backpack. Can you wrap them in front, please? To my titties. No. The house is Nobody wants to see that. You say titties. I'm about to see my titties. Come on. Stand up. Lay me down. Get in there now. I'm trying, but you're going to break my wrist. You really break my wrist. Come on. Oh, you got to wait a minute. Let me trying to help you. Scoot on your butt into the into the seat. The power of acri. The power of acro. You're going to break my wrist. You will break my wrist. Get up there. God damn it. Your metal will break my wrist. Granny's not supposed formed. I want to get in. There you go. Now pour your leg in. throwing. That hurt. Good job. I'm a titties being turtle and you can't put handcuffs behind me cuz I'm a handicap with I put them in the front of titties. Cuz I'm handicapped by law. What? Cities. Self-defense lawyer. Now you are the worst goddamn witch people I ever met in my goddamn life. the worst humans in my goddamn life. And I can train a dog to protect somebody from a human before a human can drive a goddamn car without hitting me. And the mother titty I was telling them don't open my goddamn government mail check. It's a government phone. The only phone I had. I got it. I worked hard to get it. I ordered it and in seven days I got it. And guess what? In three days, I got my truck and I did so much in that short amount of time. I left my house one goddamn time and they destroyed my mothering wallet with my money and did two of everything in my wallet and one locked and trust you of mother. 911 ain't worth no with a 10 to spell a goddamn name on a piece of plastic without shooting me in the forehead. You Bernie five piece of [ __ ] in America. I've been in my house for seven months. I went to jail three times. I went to site seven times for crazy song on a fiveletter word clipping four pennies and between my four fingers you son of a and I got two the end screen of this room has one of her other videos but I didn't get around to watch it I'll have to and this has a play with two big guns that look me in the eye and I flip off in the air you special tonight. If you buy your own membership, I will match with a gift membership up to five more. So, join the magnificent membership. Woot. Nice. Chris, you're too generous. I wish I knew how to throw out those free memberships. Survey teaching. They've tried to teach me. I got to go through all these different screens and [ __ ] to figure it out. And last time, for whatever reason, it just wasn't on there. All right. You can't my teeth in a slide dumpster of mud, you piece of [ __ ] And your metal gel cell is more comfortable than the goddamn naked sleeping little painted Xbox painted. You run out of gas. I can't think of no more crazy things to say. And the goddamn landing of Columbus where they put their airplane for your whole for your whole mothering state of Ohio on a circle piece of paper and a pencil. If you ain't a piece of pencil paper that says Ohio with an O and actually Sparkle Poots, it it's not when she lets her hair down you got to worry about. It's when the drunk knot comes up on top of her head. You know shit's about to go down. There's hairspray in my hair and it's itching. So I got to let it down to breathe. Circle. dip and suck my balls, orgies, orus, mouth, teeth, and eyeballs and put through my eye and ask me the surface of my black to white to the veins of my eyeballs. Okay, cuz you are a piece of [ __ ] There's no phone to call for fire. There's no phone call to call for police or please help me in English with PLZ or no or yes no don't open my mail and yes arrest me and take me straight to a goddamn This is one of those where you just turn the radio up and keep driving away from an American. Take me to Columbus airport and get away from a goddamn American. Get me the away from America. You son of a White honky talk a b one to z can't get a lawyer with a goddamn dollar quarter with a head on it godamn with a metal in between your finger bottle cast coin and you can't hit a gumball machine in a candy shop to earn a lollipop in your mouth to suck you Take the candy. She's bar. You [ __ ] I take you to the candy shop. Lollipop. Did you see? She's Oh my god. And I'm gonna back that up just a second because she I I don't know if she's trying to rap battle the cop and maybe he'll set her free if she wins. machine in the candy shop to earn a lollipop in your mouth to suck it. You go put a lollipop in your 2-year-old's mouth, you [ __ ] And then pick another room to save and slip and slide blood out your in your wife's teeth and then blood eyeballs and ask her to look at you again. Funny, you piece of sucking. Hold on. Wait. Time the [ __ ] out. Oh, where'd it go? I hit the wrong one. Are you serious? 50 memberships. Dear God, man. That's Thank you. That That's digging deep. Thank you. He's getting tased again before this is over. Yeah, I am. Uh um I again forgot how to say your name. Is it Sherzad? Um, wow. That's Thank you. That's so generous. I don't know what those are, but thank you. That's definitely worth the tasing. Channel members pay a like a monthly subscription to get like bonus content and like early access and stuff and during a live stream, you can gift out to be like, "Okay, uh, I want five people to get free memberships for a month to check it out." And then you pay for it. Oh, wow. He just bought 50 and that's that's [ __ ] insane. You're the real MVP. You're the hero here. I'm tasing him for you. Dear God, man. She's going to tase me till I say your name right. I'm kidding. Don't do that. I'm gonna tase him. Good for you. That was just a Wow, that is insane. Thank you. That is absolutely insane. I'm just trying to get through all the the the gift awards. I absolutely cannot call out 50 people that just got membership. Give me a drink. I do. N I would very much appreciate it. Actually, that one's empty. Will you take it? They don't um those don't screw off, so don't break your hand. Do we have any in this? I think there's one more left in the cooler. And there's nothing left in the cooler. To the fridge. Y'all done got us done drank up all our cooler beers. We done moved on to the fridge. This has been so much fun. How long we've been on? Damn, almost two hours. This has been a blast. Thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you for all the supers and gifted members and the the new memberships. Um, this has been so much fun. I'm I'm really glad it it was worth a little spark in the ass. Did you get my thingy? Okay. They're about to see my messy drunk bun. Your what? My bun. Oh no. We're get we're getting the drunk knot. Really? What? Seem a little early for that, but okay. Well, my hair is in the way and it's just too stiff. Cat in Virginia should probably hit the other cheek so you'll be balanced. Yes. I won't I won't be able to sit at it [Laughter] all. Thank you, Otto. It It's been a lot of fun. It It's been There's so much. This has been incredible. Hairspray. She's got a drunk knot. Look out everybody. Legal fiction. One more video. We can we can maybe for you buddy. Um I don't remember. It only gets tased one more time. You've sent me a bunch on Discord. I don't remember which all ones you sent. Um I would pick one of yours, but I'm not pulling up Discord right now because I already can't figure out how to work all this computer stuff going on at the same time. It's a lot of hair. But I I think I've got another act right I can find and and put up. It's a lot of hair. Yeah, it is a lot of hair. Vicky Johnson, member for a month. Welcome. Congratulations. This has been epic. I'm having the time of my life. Thanks, guys. Y'all's making it fun for me. That's my wife, homie. I done found me a young one. I'm a creepy old man. I'm used to it, I just hit 46 a few months ago. It is a good year, dude. I was born two days after Christmas. Absolutely not. Well, it actually needs to to hit longer. The last one was too short. Well, he dropped and I was peeing myself. Well, the [ __ ] hurt. I was literally pissing myself. Where even that be? Is that the one you clipped, Chris? Let me see. Oh, I can't get it on that. What's that look like? You son of a [ __ ] I will play that one, Chris, just to see what you did with my masterpiece. You mean my masterpiece? Yeah, your m your masterpiece. Shut up. Now, have you been offended as an American? Me, too. I don't want to be here. Take me to Africa, you suck. It wasn't easy, Brian. What? I had to pull out the smooth that I had never used before and I had to do it sober, which I also hadn't done before. How did I slay the mighty dragon to acquire the hand of the fair maiden? What does that mean? That means how did I land you? Well, I got that. Good. Good. Hey, let's watch a video. Monkey, you racist monkey. Get me the out of here, you sucking piece of [ __ ] Come on, man. Handle me like you did last time in a wheelchair. How about missed one? $10 from Mike Moran. What you drinking? And you make a cute couple. Does that make me gay? It does not because we're a couple. That just makes you a swinger. I'm on the Guinness tonight and I think she's on my diet beers. She's drinking the MC Ultras. I prefer Box wine, but it it takes forever to get cold. It does. And um we really have no business going through an entire box of wine. And we'll do that. We be on here online. Maybe we'll do that on a stream sometime. And hilarity will in hilarity will ensue and we will get kicked off YouTube. That would have to be when I have time off. That way I can take Monday and Tuesday off too. Yeah, we're we're getting older. It's going to take a couple days to to recuperate from that. Thanks again, Mike. You're awesome. Man, threw me out over there. You don't know dog and cat or piece of fish to go fishing. Oh, damn it. Sparkle Poots, y'all. I ain't lying. You could take this [ __ ] on the road. We can't because we got them kids most of the time. This is a rarity to to be home alone without the kids and to to to do something fun like this. We can do it next weekend. Well, yeah. I'll send off the girl. You'll send off the girl. The boys will be with their mom. Yeah. I mean, if she doesn't want to All right. Well, but we'll pencil something in for next weekend. If not, you know, she'll be out on I seriously doubt I'm going to let her tase me again next weekend, but um we'll see how it goes. Thank you, Sparkle Poots. I wonder. Oh [ __ ] Sorry. All right. Are you going to get me to Africa? We're going to get you out of this cruiser so we can stand up. You able to get out? I got arrested charges on hell and opening my goddamn mouth. All right. Well, we'll get out. Those are these chants. You need to unlock the back and put them in the front. I'm a handicap in a wheelchair. Are you able to walk? No. Oh, there we go. Thank you. I found it. We're going to get you out here around the nurse check you out. Okay. You guys abused me so much I'm going to Africa. We're not going to abuse you. We're going to get you out here so we can have the nurse take you out. Okay. I just need you to calm down. I know you're stressed out. No [ __ ] about that. I know you are. You know what? I was going to get spot for you guys. 17 signatures of government. Let's have to get a Saturday. What's your first name? And someone else goddamn sale. What's your first name? Next weekend. I think we can pull you on every number you do. And she opened cell. Slide towards Godam. Our hands are bracing your back. Okay. You're able to shimmy over Jackson. All right. On here. We're going to shimmy you over. All right. All right. Scoot yourself over. Okay. Hold still. We're going to raise your head. I am on that trying to get around. The woman was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. If she is convicted, what do you think the punishment Okay. Um, we're going to watch Can I do my thoughts on this one? Yeah, absolutely. I think this granny's off her rocker and off her meds. Maybe a little bit. Yeah. And maybe the way she was thinking about, you know, the phone was still wrapped, you know, in the thing. She made me a schizophrenic. That's possible. Gr my granny kicked a trash can and attacked my mom because there was roaches. That's how we found out she was schizophrenic because of that. torn my mom up. I've just heard stories. I wasn't born yet. Bub, the firstborn, was just born. And when she's off her meds, let me tell you, she put a knife to my cousin's throat. Yeah, that's that's not good. Yeah. And she All right, we're we're gonna watch this one and then I'm going to go pee and then I'm gonna find us another one. Okay. All right. I'm having so much fun. Chris, I hate you. I love you. I don't even know who you are. Get it in the end. Like right here. This is going to suck. This is going to suck. The little thing, baby. I'm about to pee now. I think I was peeing right here. You peeing before you even started? Yeah. May I need to hold on? Nothing in your way, right? No. Right here. Yeah. Ready? No. Why would I be ready for this? Taser. Taser. Taser. Oh [ __ ] Oh my god. [Laughter] [Music] I didn't [Music] [Laughter] poop. Oh my god, that was the greatest thing ever. That hurt like hell, y'all. Double sword. Oh, I did not. Yeah, that hurt. Oh my god. She's about to fall out. She likes to laugh at me. My face as soon as I did it. Oh my god. Spider-Man, I pooped for you. [Laughter] Sh. Over and over. No, we're not going to watch it over and over again. Oh, let me find a good one. Um, probably gonna pee again. Yeah, I need to pee. I need to. All right, this is a short one. Oh, what just happened? Not that one. Not that one. Where'd it go? Son of a [ __ ] I'm trying to find this other video. It's worth the wait. No, not that one. Marry something. Oh god, that was good. Oh, my stick's dying anyway. All right. Um, I'm gonna play this one. Um, we're gonna get um we're gonna let Ashley take control for a minute while this one's playing so that I can relieve my bladder. And my cigarette stick is dying. And um if you need if you need to pause it to talk, pause what the video. I'm gonna play a video while I'm Oh. Left click it. Okay. Just like a regular school mouse. Yeah. Oh [ __ ] Hold on. I messed something up. I'm always messing something up. It's kind of what I do. All right. Change this one to what's that called? I don't know. This one. Okay. Oh, wait. Hold on. Damn it. I'm trying to mouse with the left hand. It's not working. Looks like we got more gift memberships. Thank y'all. Lego Fiction come across with 20 more memberships. Wow, you guys are killing it. I I love you guys so much. You guys are so awesome. Heart. It has a heart. She's got a heart on y'all. Hopeful. Hopeful. It's the Robin apparently. Yeah. Thanks, League of Fiction. I owe you. You've dropped like 140 bucks tonight or some [ __ ] All right, she's gonna handle this video. My faces, man. I just realized I'm making faces. You always make faces when you're laughing, honey. No. All right. On March 8th, 2025, a 29-year-old suspect named Justin entered a Walmart and went register to register with no money in his hands, requesting change for a $100 bill. After a cashier refused, he began ripping cash drawers from their mounted locations and smashing them on the floor. He destroyed a total of 10 cash drawers, picked up the money off the floor, and left the scene. As an officer with the St. Petersburg Police Department arrived on scene. An employee pointed out the suspect. Chris. Hey, get on the ground. Get on the ground. Get on the ground. You're going to get tased. Yes. No. Taser deployment. Hey, need rescue 1018. Uh, give me a unit to block First Avenue. Hands out. Put your hands out behind your back. Put your hands behind your back. Hands behind your back. I'm not getting free. Don't move. You're going to get again. God. Hey, get gloves. You bleed from the face. I got Don't move. Understand? Lizard, we are killed. We're 15. We need rescue. 18. Please don't move. Stay right there. Block off First Avenue at 32, please. Hey, you got any idea? Anything on here? Left pocket. Okay. Uh, watch for a second. Grab gloves. You got gloves on. Now, try my best to get my life together. We got We got paramedics to come check you out. Okay. I don't like I said, it looks like something happened today. And immediately go running. The devil, man. What's up, devil? Okay. See if there's anything. You just got me that you're half. Okay. What happened? Uh, this guy went to Walmart. I know what happened on the video, honey. I've seen the video. I was just reading comments as that. Why is it not playing? Well, just hang out here. All right. Try not to move too much. Okay. I'm sorry. As you were. Why? Why you got to stop me, bro? Why? Why? That was the last thing I was going to do, man. That's all I needed was a head start, bro. Money is not easy to make, man. Say that again. All you needed was a what? A head start. A head start. I need a house, a car. I just need I can't even buy a bottle of water. Okay. You don't have any weapons or anything like that on you, do you? I don't even hurt nobody. I couldn't hurt nobody. You what? I didn't hurt nobody. Okay. That's why I didn't even do nothing, [ __ ] I have been replaced. I got voted off the island. That's what I'm saying. That's why people get killed, bro. Why is you still need a producer though? Stopach. Stop reaching. Stop reaching. Stop reaching. We got kids. There's directions. Yeah, there's all kinds of stuff. Yes. Hey, don't push my money. The money I think we're going to keep separate, but that might be another thing. You know what I'm saying? This has been so much fun. I haven't moved from here to good, [Music] Sarge. Well, you know, while in custody at Bayfront Hospital, the suspect made several disturbing threats to officers to stay out of YouTube jail. We're not going to repeat what he said, but we have included a part of the report. In the end, Justin was charged with robbery, resisting arrest without violence, and threatening a public servant. As of the time of recording, he remains in custody, and his motion to reduce his $30,000 bond was denied. If you like this video and want to see more like it, subscribe. All right, we're we're back on. Why are you not pausing, you son of a [ __ ] Sorry, got a little angry there. Um, how long we've been on? 2 hours and 12 minutes. You want to keep going? Yeah. All right. She wants to keep going. I understand some of y'all don't. Well, do y'all want to keep going? It's up to y'all. Put a one in the chat if you want to keep going. Put a two in the chat if you hate when people ask you to put a one in the chat. Right. [Laughter] That's my girl. I'm madly in love with her. It's It's crazy. I You know, people aren't supposed to be this happy with their wives, but you know, he doesn't know what to do with me. I don't. And it's perplexing. And you're almost never violent. [Laughter] I'm not. I used to be, but I'm not now. All right. Here's what we'll do. Just because it's so funny. Go pee and you can do my other butt cheek and then we will um we'll do another video. So, while while you're doing that, I'll try to find another video for us. All right. Get your butt cheek ready. If I had a nickel. All right. What am I looking for? the She's too excited for this. Let's find Where's my watch lighters? No, no, no, no. Don't do that. All right. I've always got a handful of videos saved um just to watch later. I don't know. Let's see. I just did that one. I don't remember if that one's act or not. I want to find y'all another Oh, Ashley's going to love this one. Hold on. I think. Is this the right one? Yeah, this is some act [ __ ] This one there's no act right in in in this one, but like I said, Ashley's going to love it. So, we're we're going to play this. It's funny. It's hilarious. Catch up on some chats now. Carrie T always looking out for me. She's incredible. I haven't checked my sub count. I don't I don't know if I've had any new people sub tonight, but I'm pushing for 25K. I'm at like 24750 last I checked. So, we're going to get there. We're going to get there soon. And, you know, maybe next weekend I can get Ashley to come on, which it seems like she's up for. And maybe it'll be a 25,000 party. Hopefully. So, it'll be fun. That's a negahachi ghost rider. We are not doing a full two seconds. It's a It's hypnotizing, isn't it? Vicky Johnson. This is like Boos and Body Cams part two featuring spider monkeys. Oh, what we looking [Laughter] at? It probably is. I I haven't looked at it yet. Where we at on these? She does seem to be having quite a bit of fun with you guys. Um, I'm really glad that she did this. Me, too. Three cats in red. $20 super chat member about a week. Been watching you longer. I think before 10,000 US Army 20 years, act right as a [ __ ] Great to have you. Three cats and red. Thank you for your service. Thank you Mercy Buku for the the super chats. That's crazy. 10K was about a year ago I think. Um I remember doing a celebration for that. I'm glad to have you for so long. Yeah. I mean you've been doing this for what? About a year and a half, something like that. Yeah, I remember you hinting that we were in the basement of the old house. Yes, we were. Just wait. All right. I guess I found us another video. Like I said, there's no act right in this one, but it's funny. I think Ashley get a kick out of it. We all love watching her laugh. No, they love me snorting. That's part of laughing. I snort. She's having way too much fun. Yep. Well, oh, where's it at? Only thing I do is work and take care of the family. So, I need this actually. It Yeah, it was pretty bad. I mean, I I wasn't hamming that up for the camera because I wasn't able to cuz that hurt like [ __ ] It hurt worse this time. I'm I'm not happy about the way that you said that. What are you doing to me? One of my hands. Don't touch me. You had one. I'm not resisting. Listen. You had one of my hairs out. All right. Y'all ready? Let's do this again. Butt cheek. Butt cheek. Oh my god. Hold on. Mickey Johnson, member for 11 months. Thank you. I'm glad you stuck around. Also me. Good times. Hey She gets too excited. You just peed, right? No. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. She's like, "No, I didn't. But I I got what you were putting down." Get fiddle. Are you just tuning in, brother? Because you're about to get a show. We did. Oh, yeah. We We did this once and um it it went over pretty well. We're gonna do it one more time and um then we're going to do one last video and then we're gonna call it a night. But we're we're gonna call it a night. Absolutely [ __ ] not. Next time, dude. It's a good idea. But y'all can't see his butt cheeks. Okay. say it's a stun gun. Is that a stun gun or a taser? You know, does it have the strings attached to it? No, it's just a just a stun gun. Um the the tasers with the prongs are a little harder to get a hold of. Probably have to order that. Those are that Cabelas. Get them, Ashley. I'm about to Good heck, Shane. Are you 7 feet tall and Ashley 5 foot nothing? No. No. I'm 5'11 and she's 410ish. All right, let's do this. Come on, girl. Get him. I'm going to I'm going to Oh god. Why do I do this for you people? Oh, wait. Time out. Screw the people. You're doing it for me. Auto save me. Super chat. Beer fun. Gonna need it tomorrow. I need it right now. Yeah, somebody door dash me some some some beer. Oh, there's another one. Jumper wires to Shane's nips. Anyone again? Only fans. Come on. It's not safe for YouTube. Chris Stallin. Oh god. Thank you guys for the super chats. Yeah, we really appreciate it. Oh, hold on. I've been sitting in that chair a long time. My but my butt's numb. You are too excited for this. Yeah. Oh my god. Stay a little taller. Why? Why do I do this? Is that better, baby? No. That's just [ __ ] weird. You're not allowed to scare me. You ain't got nothing in this pocket. Nothing. Nothing in my pocket. Taser. Taser. Taser. Oh [ __ ] Oh, that one was worse. Oh god. Ow. Um, he's on the floor. I'll be right back. I think it got stuck to your pants. I think I pulled my quad when I fell. Oh, it got stuck to your pants. I want a divorce. No. [ __ ] you. I want a divorce. Oh, no. No. You're the one that fought it for me to do this. You can't get a divorce. God. Ow. [ __ ] [ __ ] I think I tore my quad when I fell. And my butt cheek hurts. Oh my god. Oh my god. Well, they wanted a little longer, but it it got stuck to your pants. And I hope you've been doing squats cuz you're going to be carrying me around the house. Lift with your legs. Oh my [ __ ] Right. You're stuck. I can't carry you. Oh my [ __ ] That hurt. The the butt cheek hurt. Don't get me wrong. That hurt like hell. But something about the way I fell. How'd you go now? God, I'm too old for this. No, my my quadricep. Oh, let me go back. No divorce. I'm gonna go back and and catch up on some of this some of these chats. My leg really hurts. May maybe next time we'll do it sitting down. I mean, we're never going to do this [ __ ] again. Um, I'll make it up to you. You damn well better. I will. All right, there's where I left off. Two seconds, Ashley. Do it. That's I think it was more than two seconds. It got stuck to his pants and I kept hitting the button. You're supposed to let go of the button. Well, I was trying to get it off, but the way Oh, I can turn it off, but the way it was just kept zapping. Put a one in the chat if it's Ashley's turn. I have a bad heart. No. I mean, if y'all going to throw out some mad money, I'll do it. No, you won't. You're not allowed. You ain't the boss of me. I'm absolutely the boss of you. I can't stand up long enough to tase you and I'll be running and jump. I'll be hoogie it up. [Music] All of your friends need to watch big. Definitely. Oh yes. [ __ ] it. Hell. Baby, you're okay? Yeah. Just I'll live now. I'm worried. Y'all, I'm feel bad now. Thanks. No, I've pulled every muscle in my body multiple times. No, you can't talk. You got me all flim and [ __ ] I hope you guys are happy. I know I am. That would actually hurt. Well, you got to give what they want. I do. So, I gave it to them. Now this is how Sparky Saturday started and ended. But now she knows how to protect herself if anything happens to her. I just got to learn when my daughter comes in the room not to tase her. Jonathan Pogue, you're not the boss of me. Huh? Nope. No divorce. Yeah. No. I think those go out randomly when when when they get them. Unfortunate alter boy. I keep them very reasonably priced mainly because I am not able to do a whole lot for the members. Anyway, this episode of Shane's Dumb Criminals live stream is brought to you by Depends. Yeah, I need them. And he didn't pee this time. Unfortunately, I'm worth a hell of a lot more dead than I am alive. I bet we're gonna keep him alive. I kind of like him. You do? I I love you sometimes. She She puts up with a lot of [ __ ] It's going to be a lot more [ __ ] now. I don't always love you, but I always like you. Thanks, Chris. I'm on my own clipping that one. You go get another video. Uh uh from Big. What? Who's the one that said that one of me tasing you? Oh, that was Chris. Chris? Yeah. He He's a friend of Big and he's he's good people. Come on. Give me another more beer. Somebody door dash me. I'm not giving you my address, though. Oh god, no. Oh god. You okay? Yeah. My leg hurts. Third time's a charm. No, I'll only do one more. Probably seated for like a $100 super chat because this is getting ridiculous. I'm not allowed to get tased. Why did I tell him to put a one in the chat last time? 69 for Was that a one in the chat to get you for you to have a turn? Ashley, this is your main job. The other the other cheeks lit up, too. I'm running out of cheeks here. You got a nice thigh. He was here for a little while. It might be getting too late for him. I think he's on the East Coast, too. And you know, he he did his duty today and he came over and hung out with us for a little while. So, he's he's probably enjoying family time or snoozing. I'm doing neither of those things. You wanted this. Okay. You wanted it. I don't think Ashley's empty anymore. Shane gets zapped for s for super chat Saturday. That could be a thing. Get fiddle. 10 bucks. Thank you. Here's for all the laughs, man. You're always entertaining. Thanks, G Fiddle. I'm glad you're uh I'm I'm glad you're a fan. I know you watch lots of videos. I'm way behind on the chats, babe. Just give me Oh. matter where it went. You'll be all right, unfortunate alter boy. Uh, good thoughts and everything. Good vibes. You got it. Hardly nothing. I'm I'm glad I could distract you for a little while. It hurts so good. Put put a nothing in the chat if uh you're a big John Cougar fan. Not John Melanchamp. John Cougar. Damn it. Oh [ __ ] What's this one? Shane, you're an honorable man refusing to let Ashley get it. I kind of like her. A little bit. If she hadn't peed already, I'd be all about it. Sparkle Poots. Five more dollars. These keep her gonna kill me. But damn, I haven't left this so much in years. Good. I'm glad. I'm glad you're with us, Sparkle Poos. Jesus Christ, Carrie, but not Carrie. I so needed this. Thank you bunches for your super chat. They'll come around. There's a You can't not like big dreams. Ashley doesn't need to be tased. She's had children. No taser for Ashley. This is a man's job. I'm a feminist. Anything a man can do, a woman can do just as well. Ape, but it was supposed to go off. Wait, no taser for Ashley. This is a man shop. Yeah, that's one I just read, baby. Well, I had to read it. I wasn't listen. I was looking over here reading this. You wasn't listening. Color me surprised. [Laughter] We're not taking Ashley. Thanks, guys. Guys, I really appreciate I really feel the love. I really do. Stacy, we are in West by God, Virginia. Home sweet home, the mountain state. Our main export is [Laughter] meth which big is busy not getting taste. Kendall. No. Absolutely not. What's it say? Would you take one in a crotch for $100? No. I kind of need those. Yeah. She said I I took a sniff once for a No more money. Oh my god. Next Saturday, Shane and Ashley will entertain us with a can of Easy Cheese, a bungee cord in the ceiling fan. Well, I don't know what kind of party you're talking about, but I like the way you think. Yeah, Veronica for Thank you, Ashley, for the best laughs I had in a long time. You're welcome. I'll be here next Saturday. So, he's always going to be John Cougar to me, Stacy. You'll never change my mind. Oh lord. We're not going to have this argument. Vampirina. I I would believe it. Um yeah, he seems like the kind of guy that would be, but he's very talented and I like his songs. My first case of incarceris. I have a shoulder injury. I have a leg injury. I have a butt injury. Actually, that was supposed to be Taz, sweetheart. For [Laughter] what? All right. All right. All right. We're We're going to do one more video. I'm getting tired. I'm having a blast. But I'm probably going to need to walk this off a little bit, right? I rent my house for a month each year to do Tabby Island next door to one of Melanchamp's places. Chris, $2. Thanks. Someone remind me why I came to this channel. If you haven't figured it out by now. Oh god. All right, we're going to do this one more video. Um, like I said, there's no ACRite in this one. I understand some people tune out. We've been on a long time. It's been so much fun. Um, I thought this one was funny. I thought Ashley would like it. So, we're gonna do this one. Yeah. Oh, no. Not that one. This one. There's another. On December 12th, 2024, officers of the Sanduski Police Department were sent to an assault call. When they arrived, they made contact with the victim, Thomas Gorsuch, and the attacker, Heather Fox. Here is their story. Looks like he put on me. Hold on. Is Katie Zed here? Did I see her? What? Katie Z, my bud, my technology mama. Hang on. Hang on. Tell me how to work most. I can tell you I've been here all night. I've been out here all night. All right. I've been minding my own business. This put I'm not the one. What did he do? He hit me. And then how do he hit you? He did this. Okay. Then he told me, "Shut the up. I'm going to do this to you. If I want to, I can whip you, but I've been behaving." I am not. That's Tom Gory. He's at AJ Vanessa that lives here. His dad just died two weeks ago. Who? Tom or this guy? No. AJ and Elder N. Guys, I feel so bad, but I'm loving every second of me tasing him. Oh, poor guy. I got some work to do. Um, smell good. Yeah, I'm all that. But anyways, um, Vanessa husband died. Okay. two weeks ago and he she took him out of out homeless. His mom is Shirley Beasley on hand. You are officially out of beer. And this who is it to you, Tom? And she crusty clown. Can't get enough. Is that what he's trying to do? He wouldn't have this if he had this in there. Well, was that what he's trying to do? Is that what he's trying? No, but he's disrespectful. Oh, Leslie Green here. Who? You. I don't know. Last time I talked to you, you were doing No. Yeah, it was like uh in the summer. Remember? Ain't no summer. In the summer when you were sleeping by that boat. That was a long time ago. You said you were doing then though. I ain't doing nothing now. I've been out of trouble. I'm not going to get you in any trouble. I'm just You couldn't get me in trouble. had to four years. May 23rd for what? I've been out of trouble. Well, I know that I haven't done nothing in a while. Well, you must have been yanking my chain then cuz you told I ain't been living no goddamn What the are you talking about? This mother is stupid. Hey, listen, Heather. Heather, when you were living with I'm not at the boat and that's right. I'm not safe. You're not helping me. I'm just asking you. It's We're just talking. I'm just asking you. Dumb little. Okay. Get out of my face. Marriages last longer than all my other marriages. Don't you want Don't Don't Don't you do that. Get me out. Jeez. Jeez, my man. You think you're going to get a cheese cracker? Why do I want a cheese cracker? Get out of my face. All right. Laugh myself into No, I ain't drunk. I ain't even not. You ain't drunk. [Applause] You were just cool with me and I brought up meth and you're mad. Better watch your mouth. You want to go to jail? No. But you need to go to jail. No. And I'm going to call the judge to hold you for a long time. And then you won't get your job. You want your job? Yeah. I want this to be my job. While this beautiful conversation was happening with Granny, Officer Cook spoke to the victim and got his We've been together almost seven years, been married just over five. It's been a wonderful time. It has. I I didn't think I could actually marry somebody that I liked. Nobody told me that was a possibility. He found his weird person. I did. I found the one that will put up with all my side of the story. In the beginning, what happened? I asked her to leave. Okay. And she started kicking me. Okay. Who are you talking about saw it? I found her back here. Dave Stratton. Dave Stratton. Okay. Did she? She's been here. She was told not to come around here before. Okay. By you guys. So, she attacked me once before, too. And that's the house owner there. She wants her out of here. Okay. When did we tell her not to come back over here? It's been about two weeks, I think. Okay. Did she just show up here or did you She just showed up. You didn't tell her today. When she got here, what happened? Yeah, that's my family. Oh, God. She's been here all day. I've been in and out. Okay. Did you? And every time I stopped by, I said, "Look, third time you got to go." John, so then what happened? So finally she attacked me. Started kicking me just randomly. Yeah. Well, because I told her to go. Are you injured at all or the house here? Yeah. She want to come out and talk to me or she can. Everybody knows about She's sick. She don't need this bull crap. Okay. What's going on? She keep coming back over here. Okay. I got cancer. Okay. I got to try run tomorrow. I done told her to stay from over here. This ain't the first time. She did this all the summer. Tell her to stay away from my house. That's a back house where he just hang out with his buddies. He lives in the basement. I'm being nice to let him do that. She won't get him kicked out. I'm her live here. My husband just died and I'm not on the Okay. So, has an officer told her to stay away before? 42 years. Yes. That you know of. Okay. In the summertime. Okay. That night I was I was sleeping and she joked on me while I was sleeping attacking me, attacking me, demanding crack. My daughter was over here early and told her to stay from over here. I am walking on wheelchair. I got a cancer. I got to go. I got to go to out there for a clinical trial. I will be there at 8:00 in the morning. Jason, I'm not on this drama. I have told her to stay here because my daughter come back over here. That's going to be a problem. I ain't did nothing. If you're the homeowner and you want me to trespass, I'm going to document in the report and I need your information. What is she doing there? My daughter just literally went and got me some some I'm constipated. I don't feel good. Went and got me uh suppositories. My daughter told her to stay away from over here. Remember earlier I told you she left in a car? Right. couple times in the side of the face and any marks or injuries on you? Probably not cuz I'm a bit tougher than most people. Well, right now I'm I'm going to have to double check and see if we have it it documented that she was told before not to come back. Then if you want, you can sign a trespassing. She'll get arrested. She's only going to get a summon though. She won't go to jail. Get that first one. That's up to you. Tell her to get the hell off my property and don't come there. and we will make sure that it's documented she's not to be back. So if we come back she will be arrested. Okay. It sounds like she just got arrested. So she won't be back here. [Applause] All right. You're going to jail. Get off me. Put your hands around your back. Swing on me. I'm going to dump you. Get off me. Quick. I'm not doing. Get off me. Stop it. I'm not whatever. Get my bag. Oh, back and stay right where it's at. Should have thought about that before you spitting things. We gave you every opportunity. Okay. Okay. I watched you go. Stop. Don't press. Do you have one hell of a hand off that replay? You're making it worse. Don't press your target. Just relax. Okay. Don't spit. You You don't get your hands off. [Music] this way. I can't wait. Heather, stop. Don't kick me. Don't get off me. You're getting your weapon. Imp. God damn it. That's enough. The ground. Get out. My leg hurts. Heather just had to turn into a llama, so the officers placed her in cuffs. Get out of here. All right. Unrelated story of the day. Um, sorry. That was hot. Yeah. How you like that? Mhm. We went to a little hole-in-the-wall familyrun zoo a few years ago in West Virginia. In West Virginia, Hovatter Zoo, I believe it was called near near Bridgeport. Um, they had some alpacas and we were trying to get up to the to the alpacas because you could feed them and stuff and these little kids were being douchebags and kept like pushing and everything to get everybody through. So, we just stepped back. We didn't want to deal with that. They were really mean to me. Those kids were. Wouldn't you know it, one of them kids got a mouth full of spit. Scream and cried to mommy. They did. And then I got to pet them. God bless alpacas. And I got to pet like you. Get off. I only got her. Uh, block me you m Oh, that'll sh you. In the back seat, Heather was going ballistic and kept on calling officer Cook racial slurs. You pet the children. He said you got to pet them afterwards. [Laughter] Took me a second. Yeah, I pet the children. They were very nice. You I hope you suck your dead. You're a kid. Get out of my face. Get the out of my room. Usually they a big cat for that. Nope. There's another monkey coming. You're dead. Go to hell. Yeah. One leg. [ __ ] you. Hey, Heather. [ __ ] up for you. West Virginia. Heather was charged with assault on a police officer, harassment by inmate, and resisting arrest. 6 months later, she was arrested again for assault. And from what we found, Heather Lee Fox is currently in the Erie County Jail awaiting further legal proceedings. All right, guys. I think I think we're going to end it there. This has been a lot of fun. We've been on a really long time. Um, thank you guys for sticking around. This is this is like I've made hundreds of videos and done a handful of lives and this is by far the most fun I've had on YouTube the entire time I've been doing it. This has been great because of me. Yeah, because of you. Absolutely. Because of you. I had the time of my life. Thanks, guys. I really love y'all's comments and everything. I really appreciate y'all. So, we're gonna wrap it up. Thank you for all the super chats. Thank you for um for the gifted memberships. Thank you for the memberships. Thank you um thank you to the mods. They're taking really good care of us. Uncle, what am I looking for? Uncle Dan. Hey, Ashley should taste shave. No, no, no. We're We're good. Thanks. Actually, that might loosen my my quad back up. That might be like good tenun or No, we're not going to do that. We're out of time. Sorry, guys. We're It's late. We're We're out of time. We're We're not going to do any more of these tonight. Thank you guys for watching. I love all of y'all. And stay tuned for probably hopefully next Saturday. Oh, wait. Where was it? Legal fiction again. Good night. Give the children a pet for us. They're not here. That's why we got to do this. I'll pet my sugar ladder. We'll get them tomorrow. Just one of them. Oh, well, thank you. I will have a great weekend. Thanks, guys. Um, again, it's been wonderful. You guys have a great night and um thanks for thanks for checking it out. Thanks for hanging out with us and we'll see you on the next one. I love you all. So stay tuned.