Hi. Hi friend. Hello citizen. You're the second person that speeds right here. Like we live right there. I can see my house from here. Don't have registration? No. Are you kidding me? I am not. I don't kid about things like Arizona motor vehicle law. It's a very serious matter. Your speed is so fast it's literally insulting to the law. We don't give warnings for 31 over. That's that's literally against my religion. Your windshield looks like the street map to a busy city. Yeah. That's terrible. Yeah. So you have like a you have a learning plateau. Like you're not learning anything. You're like it should be like this. I I hate driving and I try to get out of my place. I And you know why I could tell you tell by you hate driving? It's cuz you're not good at it. My attention was drawn to your car by your annoyingly loud muffler. And then I realized that your window tint was illegal so I had a great reason to stop and talk to you and tell you how annoying your muffler is. Even though I mean you're pretty much driving a roller skate but still if you hit someone with this roller skate you'd hurt them. It's like you took a regular size car and put it in the dryer for too long. Does this car happen to identify as a bicycle? Cuz you were driving with two of your wheels in the bike lane. I think my speedometer might be messed up. Yeah, that might be it. But it could also be that big old energy that you have. Any alcohol to drink today? No, sir. All right. got off from work. You just you know you you drive like a drunk so I got to kind of ask you. I'm sorry? I've been broke kind of. I just got off of Well, that's good cuz if you're broke you shouldn't be spending money on weed. Yeah, I know. It's good. It's like a public service announcement. What's this back here? Uh this That that's the camera man. What is that that police stuff? It's that police stuff. That's right. Are you that sheriff that will be coming out on Facebook? I be that sheriff. Yeah. Mhm. Would you feel more comfortable if you took your Kanye shoes off and walked in your bare feet or would you like to walk in your Kanye shoes? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, whichever you want. You have been the recipient of very poor information. If you get another citation like this you could trade all three citations in for a bicycle because we're going to suspend your license and then you're not going to be able to drive. So, she's pretty much treating these citations like like traffic unit baseball cards and she's trying to collect them all. Don't There's no There's no crying in baseball. I know. And there's no crying in speeding. I'm not crying. It's just why? Why? I I live on the mountain of right. It's where I It's where I reside. I'm on the mountain of right there, right? Like way up here. Right? Okay. I I'm glad that we agree with this. You are in the valley of wrong if you think you're going 50. Your top speed was 72. I feel like that's a pretty gross generalization spoken from a pulpit of misknowledge. Brush your teeth, great. Spit it out. 29 negative. Ticket 2020 Toyota. Sometimes you just got to man up and swallow it. I'm just I'm shocked. Your generation is doomed. I don't know. I I I don't know. I I don't I don't even have words. I need you to give me an interpretation. I need you to interpret this. What does that mean? Something nice for your butt. Something nice. I like the way you say it. You're going to miss your court date, ma'am. What are you doing two years for? Uh assault on officer. What? You've been cool, man. You're like the Johnny Appleseed of warrants. Wow. Like everywhere you go, you're leaving warrants behind so you can find your way back. Yeah, I was like that's I feel like that's how you die. Did you say you're going to run out of gas? Yeah. Oh. I feel like your engine works more efficiently not at higher speeds. I think that's a thing. I don't know. I'm not a mechanic, but By any chance you Are you low on blinker fluid today? Blinker fluid? Yeah. Like, no. Cuz it didn't It didn't work? Like, your blinker didn't work there? Did you just not use it? Dude, Christmas spirit's a big deal. I listen to Christmas music all the time when I'm out writing tickets. Puts me I'm in the season of giving, right? So, I'm giving you a citation. It's kind of like my little gift to you. Okay. See how earlier you were like, "Hey, man, I walk a lot in Castaic Lake?" Well, today you're also going to walk a lot in Santa Ana Valley. So, I'm going to tow and impound your vehicle. Please go leave. Please be an adult. You also please be an adult. Your tutu looks fantastic. Watch you all the time. Absolutely. But, I have to really go pee cuz you know I'm constipated all day. Well, Yeah. pretty sure the definition of constipated is that you can't go, which is perfect. That'll give you some more time, all right? All right. Appreciate you being cool, man. Thank you so much. Get home. Have some lunch. Take a good poop. Be good.