In 1981, he caught the Disco Strangler. >> It's over, disco man. Put down the yo-yo and back away from the girl. >> Wow. Ernest Zumowski died. >> My goodness. It's been a while since I've heard that name. I hunted him for years and finally caught him and then put an end to his blood lust. In some sick way, I am who I am because of Ernest Zumowski, aka the Disco Strangler. >> Oh, so you knew who I was talking about? >> Yes, sir. You talk about him a lot. >> You know, the yo-yo was his calling card. >> Oh, I mentioned that, too? So, how did he die? >> He was in a prison transport van and he got in a terrible accident. It burst into flames and he was trapped inside. >> Well, well, well. He finally did it. >> Died horribly? >> Escaped. Just like he said he would all those years ago. >> I'll be coming back for you. I'm just like disco, baby. I will never die. >> True, disco will never die, but you will in your skull, punk. >> Oh, so I've told that part of the story as well. >> Yes, at every Christmas party. >> Sir, I am the first to tout the capabilities of senior citizens. I've made love to many, but the Disco Strangler is over 80. I doubt that he can pull off an escape like this. >> Well, that's what he wants you to think. You're both underestimating him. I know 28 other people who did that and they all ended up with yo-yos around their throats. >> Necks. >> I said throats, not necks, which means I haven't told that story too many times. All right, lace up your dancing shoes because it's time to catch this disco bastard. The state police has deployed 30 men and four helicopters to comb the area of the accident. I felt comfortable saying this disco man has danced his last disco dance. >> Sir, it's fun to see you breaking out the old lingo, but do you think you're jumping the gun? All the evidence points to the Strangler being dead. >> Not all the evidence. >> Right, the random piece of thread you think is a yo-yo string. >> It is a yo-yo string, the most dangerous part of the yo-yo. >> It just feels like you're trying to relive your glory days. >> Absurd. >> What do you have in that box over there? >> Memories and keepsakes of my greatest cases. >> Mhm. >> To remind me of the Strangler's MO. He always seduced an accomplice into doing his fiendish bidding. >> I bet it was the van driver. >> You mean the woman who was thrown violently from the vehicle and just barely survived? >> Yeah, I'm sure she was very badly injured. >> Sorry if my voice is raspy. They just took the breathing tube out. >> But they left the BS in? >> Good God. >> Woah. >> So, Ms. Park, it says in my file that you drove Mr. Zumausky on multiple occasions. >> Yes, because he had to go to the hospital a lot. He was very, very old. >> She's clearly been seduced. >> She has? >> Let's cut the crap. You helped him escape. You planted a cadaver in the back. You flipped the van on purpose. Then the Strangler set it on fire and sprinkled some of his hair nearby so there'd be a DNA match. Then he left behind his calling card, this yo-yo string. >> That's not a yo-yo string. >> What? >> That's part of the lanyard we give to the older inmates when they become fall risks. >> You're lying. You've succumbed to his groovy voodoo. >> Sir, I don't think she's lying. Look at this photo from the file. Oh my goodness. So, this string is just a string. The DNA was really a match. The Disco Strangler is actually dead. And that chapter of my life is forever closed. >> What is that noise? >> My fax machine. >> Oh, Captain. >> Sorry, I'm young. >> What is it? >> It's an aerial photograph from one of the helicopters I had deployed. Take a gander, boys. It's him, the Disco Strangler. >> Oh my God, you were right. >> Of course I was. I know him better than anyone. We're two sides of the same coin. >> You've told us this story many times. >> AND YOU'LL HEAR IT AGAIN. ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE. Your suspect's name is Ernest Zumausky, better known as the Disco Strangler. Take a close look. This is the most dangerous man in America. 5'8" hunched over, 93 lbs with gray hair and blue-gray skin. If you encounter him, keep your distance. >> With all due respect, sir, seems like a lot of manpower to take down one sweet-looking old man. >> Oh, he's sweet, all right. Sweet as poison pie. >> Yeah, don't underestimate him. I know 28 other people who did that, and they all have yo-yos swinging from their throats. >> So, you were listening. >> Yeah, we were seeing that all along. >> Thank you, gentlemen. All right, troops. Traveling tubes. Keep your eyes open. And for God's sake, protect the neck. Freeze! NYPD. >> Is that Raymond Holt I see? You haven't changed a bit. >> Neither have you, Ernest. >> What? >> Neither have you, Ernest. >> What? >> Neither have you, Ernest. >> This is hard to watch. >> You're just as devious as ever. You seduced the van driver, didn't you? >> No, I seduced the van driver. She couldn't resist my groovy voodoo. >> And the yo-yo string was a message. >> The what was a what? >> The yo-yo string was >> Captain, this is embarrassing. Can we just take him in? >> Yeah, you're right. This isn't what I'd hoped for. Go ahead and cuff him. >> Gently. >> This isn't the last you'll hear from me, Raymond. >> I'm never going to die. >> Sure you won't. Whatever makes you feel better. >> No, you're the punk. >> Just put him in the car. >> Wow, I've never even had a nickname. I mean, I guess people do call me "Hey, lady." >> Right. Well, I'm going to let the 99 know we're looking for you. You know, so those idiots don't think we broke you out. >> Ew, you think they're idiots? >> Oh, yeah, big time. >> It doesn't matter. Our plan is working. What are you worried about? >> There's a loose cannon in there with two machine guns. >> She's not a loose cannon. I saw her apologize to a chair after bumping into it. Trust me, we are not going to have any problems with Debbie. >> HEY, JAKE, GUESS WHAT? YOU made cocaine sound so cool, I decided to try it. But I didn't want to overdo it, so I only did like a tiny little toot. Then I didn't feel anything, so I did like a little bit more, and I still didn't feel anything, So, then I did a lot more and then I felt it like I really felt it. So, then I did a couple more like big ass toots. Why do you guys keep ducking behind the bed? >> keep pointing those guns at us. >> Oh my god, do not worry about it. It's only fine. We needed more light in this place. Now I can finally think. The ideas are like flowing out of me. Okay, what about this one? It's hamburgers, but the pickles are coins. I feel like >> There's something you're not telling me. >> I feel like all that coke is making you paranoid. >> No, you're paranoid. Now, don't you dare take another step. >> Okay, Debbie, what are you doing? >> phone. >> That's it. Debbie Fogel, you are under arrest. >> What? Oh my god, are you not really dirty? >> No, and I'll be taking that gun. >> Hiya! Such a terrible judge of character. I was wrong about Rosa. I missed all the signs with my cousin Jared. >> Sandwich guy. >> What is wrong with me? >> Nothing. You're just coming down from the many handfuls of coke you did. >> Right. I'm so dumb. I'm such an idiot. I'm dumb. I'm dumb. >> Hey. >> She's a mansion girl. She's so rich and she's hot. She's a mansion girl with a kitchen on fire. Look what I found. Do you like it, Jake? >> Yes, I love it. Real Cruella de Vil vibes. >> No, no, no. I'm not Cruella de Vil. I would never hurt dogs. I'm Perdita. >> Who? >> The romantic lead of the film. Pongo's wife. The girl dog. >> Yes, yes. Of course, you look exactly like Perdita. >> god, thank you so much. Hi, Mom. Do you like my mansion? >> Debra Lynn, why are you holding a gun? >> Oh my god, Mom, I'm wearing a fur coat and that's what you focus ON? I HATE YOU SO freaking much. It's like you don't even care how many chimneys I have. >> Hey, sorry to interrupt. Mrs. Fogel, we weren't introduced. I'm Jake, Debbie's boyfriend. >> You are? We are? >> I mean, yeah, if you're into it. >> I am. I do. See, Mom, I am with someone. All those psychics were wrong. >> So, listen, babe. >> Yes, babe. >> I was thinking >> About what, babe? >> that we >> Go on, babe. >> You really latched on to the babe thing. >> I love it. >> Great, great, great. Well, anyways, I was just going to say that, you know, once we're done with this big score, we're going to need a place to hide out, somewhere where the cops could never find us. >> Ooh, like Epcot. >> Uh yes, Epcot is great. That's exactly what I was thinking. >> We can kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower, on the canals of Venice, uh in the Canada pavilion. >> Yes, but why wait till the Canada pavilion when we can start right now? >> Huh? >> Oh my god, this is happening. >> Come here. Okay. >> What the hell, babe? >> Debbie, what's your plan here? Talk to me. >> Why? So, you can just tell me more beautiful lies? You think you can just lick your lips and make me weak in the knees? >> No. >> Nice try, but I closed my eyes, so I didn't even see it. I obviously thought all of this through, and it's all is going according to my plans. I'm sorry. I started trembling, and I accidentally I >> Debbie, please, JUST PUT THE GUN DOWN. >> NO. >> DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID. I will shoot her. >> Put down your gun. >> Oh, man, grabbing Debbie was a big mistake. >> What do you mean, babe? >> I know. Oh. >> Debbie, that was amazing. >> Thanks. By the way, Jake thinks you smell like >> Peralta. Brief us on the vandalism case. >> Well, there's no easy way to put this, Sarge, but someone has been painting wieners on squad cars. And apparently, they won't stop until there's a penis drawn on every cop car in Brooklyn. >> Oh, that's what he's been drawing. But, what are those two little round things at the bottom? >> It's a butt. >> A butt? >> Hey, look at this. Your prints were on file. Nice to meet you, Trevor Podolski. Oh, Podolski, just like uh Deputy Police Commissioner Podolski. Your father is Deputy Police Commissioner Podolski. I'm not sure how things work here, but does that mean that your career is in my hands? >> Okay, you know what? Yes. >> Theft, vandalism, drunken disorderly, but he's never been processed. His daddy comes in and bails him out every time. He's a lucky little jerk. >> No, I wouldn't say he was lucky. I feel bad for this kid. I mean, what kind of father cares so little for his son that he lets him get away with everything? Oh, someone else is about him now. Like you said, he's out of your hands. >> All right, I see what you're trying to do, but it's not going to work. I'm not going to arrest him. I'm going to arrest him. >> You won't back up? >> Yes. >> What is this? You can't do this. Get that thing out of here. >> Excuse me, sir. Trevor Podolski, you're under arrest for vandalism and destruction of property. >> Dad! >> What are you doing? I told you to back off, Peralta. >> First off, the name's Santiago. Detective Amy Santiago. Second, I'm arresting your son, which, as I say it aloud, seems like an unwise choice. But it's the one I'm making. Once again, my name is Amy Santiago. >> You're being stupid, Peralta. Don't be stupid. I can make your life miserable. >> Commissioner, please don't talk to my detective in that tone. You have a complaint, you can take it up with me. >> You just made yourself a very powerful enemy, Holt. I'm going to be watching you, both of you, like a hawk. >> You're going to have to try a little harder if you want to scare me. I've been an openly gay cop since 1987, so you're not the first superior officer to threaten me. You know how I'm still standing here? Cuz I do my job. And I do it right. >> Damn, son! >> Don't say son. >> Sorry. Deputy Commissioner, if you want to pick Trevor up, he'll be at the 99. >> Let's go, partner. >> The night of the murder, you met with Robert in the surgical suite. Why there? Why not your office? >> I was just preparing for assistant, who does surgeries. >> Don't driving an assistant, who does that? >> I'm a meticulous person. I'm careful how I do things. >> So careful that you I'm sorry, I forgot what I was going to say. Come back to me. >> Now, we did a sweep of the room where you and Robert fought. >> Talked. >> Right, talked. The entire room had been scrubbed. >> It had been cleaned. >> It had undergone industrial sterilization to remove all traces of blood and DNA. >> It's a surgical suite. People bleed in there every day. We have to sanitize it by law. >> Ooh, I remember what I was going to ask. Did you kill him? >> No. >> If you had said yes, I would have had you. So, after you and Robert fought, talked, you left the office, but you didn't take your car? >> I went to a bar, the Scotsman. I didn't want to drive drunk, so I took a cab. >> And you didn't have your phone? >> I left it charging in my office, and I didn't realize till I was already out of the building. >> Oh, man, if I go 10 minutes without looking at my phone, my pumpkin crop dies on my little farm. >> This is not the time for stories about your digital squash, Peralta. >> Fine. >> Talking about your phone. >> Why does it matter that I forgot it? Ah, if I had it on, then you could have seen a ping off the cell tower. >> It doesn't matter. Didn't have it on me. >> So, you took a cab to this bar. But we talked to the employees at the Scotsman. Nobody saw you there. >> Nobody remembers seeing me. >> But let me ask you this. Did you kill him? >> No. You know, it's not surprising nobody remembers seeing me. The bar was extremely crowded that night. And I spent my whole time in the corner talking to this woman, Dana. >> Oh, so you said. But when we ran all the credit card receipts, nobody named Dana bought any drinks that night. >> Hey, trust me. Dana wasn't buying her own drinks, you know. No. Hold on. Mhm. I need to deal with this. Let's take a five. >> Or I could keep this interview going solo. >> Of course, I'm sure that'll be um pretty helpful. >> All right. Where should we start, Peralta? >> Don't you think maybe we should just wait till your boss comes back? >> Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Because you're scared. You know I'm playing hardball, except for that the balls are questions. And here they come. What kind of car did Robert drive? Also, Dana from the bar, what color was her hair? And which night does the cleaning crew sterilize your office? And have you ever been up to where the body was found? And when you left your phone at the office, was it plugged into your computer or an outlet? And did you kill him? And what did your cab driver look like? >> This seems like a huge waste of time, but here you go. Robert drove a Saab. Dana's hair was blonde. They sterilize on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I haven't been to Vernon in 20 years. The phone's plugged into the wall. No, I didn't kill him. And the cab driver had a beard and an earring. I'm sorry, I didn't get his license number. Wow. >> Very impressive. >> Yeah. >> You didn't fall for my did you kill him gambit. >> No. Although it is interesting that you knew the body was found in Vernon, New York when that information hasn't been released to the public. Well, hello Dolly. >> He's not answering any questions. >> That's okay, I have no questions. That's right. I'm about to monologue, son. >> You better make it quick. You only got 8 minutes. >> All right, let me paint you a picture. I'm Philip, a successful periodontist that's become addicted to diazepam, a sedative I take because I'm junkie scum. Also, for real, addiction is a disease. I would be super empathetic if you hadn't murdered a man. >> What is the point of this? >> I'll get there. So, one day I'm working late when my boss Robert surprises me. He found out I was stealing meds. Again, junkie scum. Also again, not your fault, there's a major genetic component to addiction. He says he's going to file a police report. I could lose my license. We fight and something in me just snaps. So, I grab the first thing I can find and I hit him with it. >> You still have no murder weapon. >> I do now. Here's a pic I found on Yelp of the surgical suite 6 months ago. And here is a shot that our crime scene photographer took of the same room 2 weeks after the murder. Notice any differences? >> We're not answering that. >> That's all right, I can just tell you myself. The Yelp shot has six of these heavy looking glass awards from the Brooklyn Periodontic Society in the background, whereas this shot only has five. What happened to number six? You murdered Robert with it. >> I didn't. >> You lost all control and you bludgeoned him to death. There must have been blood everywhere, but you got lucky. You were in the surgical suite. It can be sterilized. You never would have gotten away with it in your carpeted office. >> That's not what happened. >> Don't say anything more, Phil. And your office manager would have heard all of the screaming, but she was at her grandson's play. Lucky again. >> You're wrong. >> Robert's body into a wheelchair and shoved it in the elevator. It's a miracle there wasn't blood everywhere. >> That's not true. >> Now you're in the garage with a corpse. You panicked and left your phone in your office, and you don't have your car keys, but Robert's are in his pocket, so you put him in his car and you take off. You can't believe what you've done. >> No. >> You're flustered. You have no GPS, so you just start driving. >> No. >> Next thing you know, you're in the Pine Barrens, and it hits you, your uncle's cabin. He has a place there. You're the luckiest son of a [ __ ] >> Yes, it was. You got lucky at every turn. >> No. I knew exactly where I was driving. I left my phone in the office on purpose. I was in a surgical suite by design, and I didn't use some glass award that any idiot would clearly see was missing. I made a rod out of a special dental polymer, killed him with it, then melted it back down. It's already in a patient's mouth, son. >> Oh, damn. Oh, damn. Oh, DAMN. >> AND THAT IS three-oh damns. >> Oh, damn. >> My name is Radko. I don't know anything. >> Oh, okay. >> You recognize this guy, Henry Morgenthau? >> No. >> Maybe actually look at the picture. >> I don't know him. I don't know what happened. No more questions. >> Well, why don't I run a scenario past you, Radko, and you tell me what you think. You do know Morgenthau. He came in here and tried to sell you some hams. You knew they were worth a lot of money, so you tried to steal them from him when he wasn't home. Only he was home, so you shot him. Does that sound familiar? >> Uh maybe some role play will jog your memory? >> Great idea. Okay, yeah. >> Okay. >> Uh so I'm I'm Radko. >> No, no. I'm Radko. >> Come on. I'm always the victim. >> Look, I'm not doing this with you right here. >> Fine. Fine. Oh, I'm Henry Morgenthau, owner of delicious and expensive hams. Don't I know you from the grocery store? Kill. >> And scene. >> NYPD, EVERYONE DOWN. >> MA'AM, IF YOU COULD JUST GET DOWN OR ignore me and continue shopping. >> Well, I'll get the door. >> On it. >> Raco. RACO, RACO. >> I'M GETTING MAD. >> THE WASTE OF MANCHEGO. >> TOUGH. >> HOW ARE YOU STILL HERE? >> JAKE, WE'LL HELP. RACO, he's at THE PHONE RIGHT JAKE. RACO. I'M GOING, I GOT HIM. GO BACK. >> SO NO, I did not brief you and yes, he did get away, but some bonus good news, I got you hazelnut. >> And I left a spoon there for you. >> Fantastic, 3,000 identical blue doors. >> Looks like we all got door duty. >> Oh yeah, I've been before. >> Good one. >> You look great. >> Clear. Clear. >> Okay. Unbelievable. >> Raco, great to see you. >> You can't stop me. I'm going. Actually, >> you're not going anywhere. Cuz if you take a look your left you'll see Detectives Boyle and Diaz. Right there is Detective Santiago. And behind you is Captain Holt. Point is, my team has you surrounded. >> Oh my god, I just got the tie thing. Captain, I just figured it out. >> Maybe now is not the best time, Detective. >> It's a uniform. We're a team and the tie is a part of that team's uniform, right? >> You wear strap to what team? >> No, Ratko, shut up. It's important to you because you were kept off the team for so long and now you're the coach and you want us to all wear that same uniform. Boom, nailed it. >> Yes, you did. Now, just arrest Ratko. >> All right, Ratko, down, drop the weapon. Hands on your head. Here we go. >> HE'S RUNNING. >> HANDS ON YOUR BACK, HANDS ON YOUR BACK. >> THE ALARM WENT OFF BEFORE we could even talk. >> Aw, that's too bad, bud. But at least you have people who want to come and visit you. My family hasn't been to see me since my trial. You eat nine people and all of a sudden they don't know who you are anymore. >> Wait. What? Did you say eat people? Are you a cannibal, Caleb? >> Well, that's not how I would define myself. If we're going by what I'm most passionate about, I would say that I'm a woodworker. Why did you think I was in protective custody? >> I don't know. I guess I hoped you were another cop wrongly convicted of crimes you didn't commit. >> Nope, I did all my stuff and more. There's tons they can't even trace to me. The secret is eating the evidence. >> Okay, this is just great. I don't see anyone from the outside for another 3 weeks and my only friend here is a cannibal. >> Woodworker. Look, if you really want to talk to people on the outside, just get a cell phone. >> Yeah, that'd be great, but it's illegal, right? >> There's this guy in gen pop, Romero. He can smuggle anything into this place. Phones, drugs, big bag of hair. >> Why would you want that? You know what? Don't tell me. >> The less I know about you, the better. >> Okay, let's find this Romero guy. >> Right now? I really want to chop down on his meat. >> Caleb. This is scary. I don't like being so near gen pop. >> It's fine. It's not like they're all waiting for an opportunity to kill us. I'm sure some of them are actually nice. Like this gentle giant here. Hello sir, what brings you to the fence today? >> Just here to stab you if you get too close. >> Neat. Caleb, remind me not to stand too close to the fence. >> Will do. >> Oh, here's Romero. >> So what's up? You need another bag of hair? >> Yeah, no. We'll talk later. Same order though. >> I can't believe we're going to Gen Pop. A cop and a cannibal. Everyone's going to be trying to kill us. >> I know. What are we going to do? >> You're a psychopath. You can protect us in there, right? I mean you killed and ate a bunch of people. >> They were children, Jake. Weak little children. One conk on the head was all it took. >> Show me the video. I'll send it to Charles and say you got it anonymously and then Oh my god, that's all it took. Caleb, is this it? Did you film yourself the whole time? >> Okay, look. I've been in prison for 15 years. I'm not good with new technology. You want somebody to lure a kid to a park using a Lycos chat room, I'm your man. >> Look, just press this button and make it front facing. Come on, let's try it again. >> HEY, WILSON. >> PLEASE TELL ME YOU WERE POINTED IN THE right direction that time. >> Yes, but there was a different issue. >> Caleb, you added the fiesta filter? >> I'm doing the best I can. >> Tell that to my weiner. >> I'M DOING THE >> NO, DON'T REALLY, GOD. HEY. I'M IN A BIND. I need your help. >> That's what friends are for. >> Well, friends might be a bit of a stretch. I mean you're a cannibal that eats six people. >> Nine and a half. >> Yet worse. Anyway, here are my options. A, I keep pestering Romero to tell me where the drugs are. He realizes I'm a snitch and then he castrates me and kicks me to death. >> That's not great. What's option B? >> I back off Romero, never find out where the drugs are. The warden tells everyone I'm a snitch and then Romero castrates me and kicks me to death. >> Mhm. Both options sound a little castraty. >> Yeah, that's what I keep bumping up against, too. >> Well, you know, whenever I'm backed into a corner, I just do what I do best. I drive across country, forge a new identity, and then take a job as a camp counselor. >> Oh my god, Caleb, you're a genius. >> I wouldn't say genius. That camp ran a pretty extensive background check. >> believe this. I'm going to die in here and then you're going to eat my castrated body. >> I guess, but it'd be a pretty boring meal without dessert. >> Oh my god. Oh no, Aurora's headed towards us and he looks angry. >> Well, he always looks angry. Maybe it's not directed at you. No, now he's pointing at you. This is bad. >> know it's bad. Don't let them see us. Blend in. >> I got to tell you, cop work is a lot like cannibal work. >> Really? >> Oh, yeah. The watching, the following, the waiting for soccer practice to end. >> Come on, man. >> Porotta is my best friend. If you want to kill him, you're going to have to kill me first. Because friendship >> Oh my god, HE STABBED ME, JAKE. >> EVERYBODY GET ON THE GROUND. NOW. >> YOU'RE NEXT, POROTTA. You better sleep with one eye open. >> He poked me in my tummy. >> I wanted to say goodbye. >> I can't believe you saved my life. >> I would not do it again. >> It really hurt. >> Yeah, but you did do it. >> And I regret it so much. >> Caleb, you're ruining this. Look, I just wanted to say thank you for everything. You got me through this. I'm going to miss you. >> Aw, PUT IT THERE, PAL. >> FOR THE RECORD, I'M NOT A CANNIBAL ANYMORE. My new passion is needlepoint embroidery. Look at these, two parrots in love, a turtle with a monocle and a top hat. >> Wow, it's so intricate. HOW DO >> OKAY, YOU GOT ME. I WAS GOING TO EAT YOU. That's still my thing. It's even affected my needlepoint. Look at this, liver, a heart, butt, an arm, mm. Jake, it's so good to see you. Come give me a hug. I'm not going to eat you. Also, don't hug me cuz I will try to eat you. >> This is such a surprise. I haven't seen you since I transferred here. How's Amy? >> She's great. We're married and she's a sergeant now. Wow. >> Yeah. How's everything here? >> Well, same old, same old. Guess who's here? >> Herman. >> Herman. Always playing Yahtzee, knew everybody's name, worships Satan. >> Did he? He never mentioned that. >> He wouldn't shut up about it. >> It is exhausting. >> Well, I'm Charles. I'm Jake's best friend. >> Charles, he's serving three life sentences, no need to flex. So, Caleb, we're tracking a serial killer and I was thinking you could help us get inside his head. >> Just because I ate humans doesn't mean that I'm inhuman, Jake. >> Caleb, come on, that's not what I meant. >> kidding. I'm probably friends with the guy online. >> What's his deal? >> Well, he's been murdering young men and cutting out their hearts. >> Ooh. What? I would never eat a heart. I stick to the normal stuff. Butts and thighs. One time I ate a foot, but it was nasty. >> could see that. >> You know what? There was some weird guy on the forum recently. >> Forum? >> Yeah, it's a chat room for people who like to talk about eating human beings, but definitely won't act on it. Wink. >> Yeah, it's hosted on >> Reddit. >> Obviously. Anyways, he showed up from out of nowhere asking questions about cutting out hearts. >> Really? Do you know anything else about him? >> I'd never seen him on there before, but you could check the logs. I'll approve you. I'm an admin. Oh, you might want to switch to incognito mode, otherwise your targeted ads will be pretty cannibal specific. >> Huh, good to know. Well, it was good to see you, Caleb. SEND ME THAT INFO. >> NO, I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, YOU ARE NOT LOOKING for a cannibal. >> Why do you say that? >> With all that blood? No self-respecting cannibal would waste all that sauce. >> See, Charles, he's a foodie like you. >> Who are you? >> Can I see that picture again? >> Oh, man, those are some nice tools. I would love to spread some ribs using that sternum retracter, but they only sell those to hospitals. >> Wait a minute. What did you just say? >> I said I'd love to get my little thingies in some chesties. >> No, no, no, not the super gross part. Surgery grade tools, precise incisions around the heart, and there was no ice at the motel. >> Because the perp was using it for the hearts. We're not looking for a serial killer. He stole the hearts for a transplant. Boom! We solved it. Boyo, GIVE ME A HUG. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR OBSCURE KNOWLEDGE of pig beating chart saved us. How'd you even think of that? >> Frankly, I'm embarrassed it took so long. I should have realized the second I saw those hogs. Excuse me. Hello? >> So, Captain Holt, did my information prove useful? Were the diamonds in the pigs? >> Yes. You were right. >> Good. Now you owe me a favor. And don't even think about screwing me. >> Captain, we're doing toasts. Everyone raise your drinks. The 99th precinct is officially all BACK TOGETHER. 99! >> 99! >> RAYMOND? >> SEAMUS MURPHY. >> That's right. Remember how I saved you detectives from prison in exchange for a favor? The time has come >> Wait, this isn't my order. >> What? >> This is an omelet. I only eat omelets on vacation. >> Yeah, I don't care what you eat. I'm here to call in the favor that you owe me. >> Well, then, what if I say no? >> This is you asking me for intel and promising to pay me back. How do you think this would look to your boss, especially now that you're up for the commissioner job? Yeah, I know everything. >> So, what do you want from me? >> A permit to throw a block party? We don't even have to break the law. This is fantastic news. >> I am not giving Seamus Murphy that permit. He only wants to use the block party as a cover for something criminal, a robbery, a murder, or something worse. >> You don't know that for sure. >> And that's your loophole. >> I don't believe in loopholes. >> What? Loopholes are the best. Remember that time when Pancake Palace had that all-you-can-eat deal, but they didn't set a time limit? I ate pancakes for a week for $3.99. All I had to do was sleep there and never shower. >> What? Thanks for the invite, friend. >> Rap. Rap. Spitting rhymes. Kissing shorties on the lips. Have no fear, Mr. Rap is here and he will drink three beers. >> I wish you would turn the radio down. >> You think that's the radio? That sounds like professional music to you? >> All music after Mahler sounds exactly like that. Now, how do we expect Kyle to transfer the bug to Seamus? >> I got him a very expensive bottle of whiskey to give to his uncle as a gift. The transmitter's in the cork. >> We plan for everything. >> Okay, here's what we found out from the bug that we placed. Seamus is planning on stealing $20 million in bearer bonds from an armored truck. As we speak, the block party is in full swing. >> Turns out he only wanted a permit so the street would be closed out, forcing the armored truck to divert down a narrow abandoned alley. >> It's the perfect place for an ambush, but we changed the truck's schedule so they hadn't picked up the bonds yet. >> Jake, there's nothing in here. >> That truck is as empty as Jackson Browne's running surface. >> Empty? Running on empty? He sings that song. >> Running surface? >> Okay, so Terry didn't like it. Charles? >> Don't make me do this, Jake. >> Whatever. The point is the truck is empty. So, we did it. I can't believe it's all wrapped up. >> Do we even know what we did? >> No, just feeling out how close we were to calling it a day. >> Soon, Scully. Now that Captain Holt has repaid his debt without compromising his stupid moral compass, the only thing left is for him to get his tape back, which should be happening right about uh now. >> Oh. >> Your block party is going well. >> Wasn't as much fun as I hoped it would be, but uh you lived up to your end of the bargain, so >> I'm a man of my word. >> As am I. >> Your tape. You ever want to do business again, my door is always open. >> Well, you should close it lest you get moths today. >> What's wrong? >> Why do you always assume something's wrong when I come in here? Couldn't I be bringing you good news? >> Are you? >> No, something's terribly wrong. It's Seamus. >> What do you mean? Forensics confirmed the tape you made of me was never copied. We're in the clear. >> It's not about that. I was checking our bug and I overheard him talking about what went wrong with the armored car heist. He's pinning the blame on >> Kyle. It has to be him. Everything was going great until he suddenly reappeared out of the blue, but that dum-dum ran his mouth. And that is the last time he screws over this family. He's going to pay. >> Did he say what he would do to him? >> No, they ran over a huge pothole and then complained about De Blasio for the next hour. >> Yes, he needs to do something about the roads. >> Look, I don't specifically know they're going to do something bad to Kyle. They might just lightly beat him up, so we could do nothing. We could take the loophole. >> You do love loopholes. >> I know we just put Seamus behind us, but unfortunately, he's made me a better person. I think we have to help Kyle. >> Good. I'm proud of you. >> Oh. Yeah, sorry. I just You said you're proud of me. That's my tear trigger. All right, let's go save Kyle before the dam breaks. >> Hello, Seamus. >> Hello, Raymond. So, apparently NYPD police came today to arrest my nephew Kyle for unpaid parking violations. >> And you want me to what? Clear his record? I've already done my favor. >> No, I know it's a cover. I know he's in protective custody because he helped you stop my armored car play. >> I don't know what you're talking about. You asked me for a permit and I got it. I paid my debt. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bowl of mush to enjoy. >> You're right. You don't owe me anything. But I owe you. >> And what exactly does that mean? >> It means you mess with my family, I mess with yours. You tell your husband Kevin, I'll see him real soon. >> Go. Go. Go. >> Take a seat. >> Hey, Rosa. Do you guys have any idea where Seamus Murphy is? We have a huge problem. >> Yeah, we all have huge problems. You kind of look like Phil Spector when he was on trial. >> Guys, focus up. Have you found anything? One of Murphy's guys just took Holt. >> Oh, no. We did get something from Nikki. Apparently, Seamus has been staying up in Rhinebeck, New York. >> Rhinebeck? Scully, where's that piece of junk MAIL WITH THE RHINEBECK ADDRESS? >> SCULLY, SEARCH the search Rhinebeck letter. >> One second. 8221 Old Bridge Parkway. >> Copy that. All right, we're going to commandeer a car and then we're going to drive to Rhinebeck. >> No one is going to hurt your husband. This I swear. Follow me. >> Hello, Raymond. >> So, Seamus, are you going to kill me? >> No, don't be stupid. Nothing like that. I'm just going to find your husband, bring him here, slit his throat in front of you, then after you watch him suffer, kill you, too. >> There it is. 8221. >> All right, let's go. >> What? No, you're not coming in. It's way too dangerous for a civilian. You're driving back to the safe house and watching another Nick Cage movie. You still haven't seen Gone in 60 Seconds. His character's name is Memphis Raines. I'm so sorry. >> No, I'm not abandoning my husband. I love him. >> Yeah, I love him, too. Everybody loves Raymond. >> Don't. >> that's pretty funny. >> No, it doesn't matter. You got to go. Get the hell out of here. I got this. >> So, >> Hey there. >> So, Peralta. What do you have to say for yourself? >> The whole NYPD knows where you are and they're coming for you right now. >> Okay, thanks for the tip. Let's kill them both, get out of here before the cops come. >> Wait, no no no no no. I was lying about the backup. I came alone. Title of my sex tape. >> Doesn't matter. You're both going to die now. >> Better get some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture. >> Sorry, I couldn't bring myself to call him a dirtbag. >> And why would you? A dirtbag is a very useful part of the vacuum cleaner. Clearly, it's a compliment. >> Ugh, you guys are so perfect for each other. >> Hey. What's going on? >> We just picked him up on a dozen counts of identity theft. His name is Doug Judy. You ever seen him before? >> No. >> Rosa. Rosa. Rosa. Oh, yeah. Beautiful Rosa. >> I think he's into me. >> One false move and I taze you in front of your mom. >> Mama, this is my girlfriend, Rosa. And this is my personal assistant, Mange Carl. >> Ah, it's nice to meet you. You can just call me Carl. >> Mange Carl used to be a homeless gentleman. I work with a charity that finds jobs for down-on-their-luck white people. >> He's just a big old angel. He's been so good to the whites. >> Yes, he is. >> Yeah. >> Sky. >> Don't bother looking for me. I'm in the wind. >> You're under arrest. >> Juwanna's in the air. >> Hey, Rosa. Merry Christmas, girl. >> Shut up. >> Take a good look, kids. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE NAUGHTY. >> REASON I I SULLY'S IN Attica in the '90s. He text me last week, needs some cars to deliver his product. And I said no, because drugs are stupid. Except for weed and sex pills. Man has needs. Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. Rosa. I can't think of your last name, baby. >> Enough crooning. >> Can you get us a face-to-face with Louise? >> Yeah, but you got to give me zero jail time. >> No, that's not going to happen. >> Stupid Judy. >> Did you say the menu? >> Lobster Thermidor, baked Alaska. It's so fancy it don't even sound like food. Here, come on. Order some. Order, do it. Order. >> No, thanks. I'm on duty. >> Come on, Peralta. You going to let the criminal have all the fun? >> All right, fine. I'll have one lobster Thermidor, extra Thermidor on the side. I have no idea what I'm ordering. >> Me neither. We're like culinary Magellans. You know how we take this to THE NEXT LEVEL? ROBES! >> ROBES! >> WHAT'S TITO DO? He spooks real easy, so >> No, there's no way you're going in alone. We're coming with you. I've already got my cover story worked out. My name is Dante Thunderstone. I stole my first car at the tender age of nine. >> You had to fend for yourself since your mother was struck by lightning. >> While she was pregnant with me. She passed, I lived. Some say that makes ZEUS MY DAD. >> AH! >> MYTHIC. >> THAT'S DOPE. And Rosa, you could be my wife. >> Rosa. >> Why would you take your wife with you to meet a drug dealer? >> Cuz we partners in everything we do. >> Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen. But especially ladies. >> I know that voice. >> Get ready. It's time for some smoosh songs. >> Doc Judy. The Pontiac Bandit, he's here. >> We got songs about smooshing. Songs for smooshing, too. Songs for the kids. This is the all ages piano lounge. >> I can't believe he's here. I've been hunting him for years and now fate has dropped him right into my lap. He's going to be so surprised when he sees me. >> Hey Paul Walter, you made it. What took you so long, brother? >> Okay, seems like he's playing it pretty cool. Probably more surprised on the inside. >> Huh? >> I get it. She's smart and lovable. You're scrappy and lovable. Together you just lovable and lovable. >> Ladies and gentlemen, widows and widowers, welcome to the all ages piano lounge adult Tony show. I'm Horatio Velveteen. >> Dope name. >> It's a little song I wrote myself. Call it Rosa. Rosa, Rosa. Goes like this. Rosa. Rosa. Rosa. Rosa. >> It's so crowded in here. And the lighting is way too sexy to see anything. Come on. >> Right there on the floor is the man you're looking for. He's right in front of you. A little bit to the left. My left. My left. My left. My left. Come on, this way. He's in a red shirt. No, not the Asian dude. I'm talking about a bright red shirt. That's the man you're looking for. That's the man you've been looking for. >> I got him. Follow me. >> This is still a love song, people. >> Come on. >> This is still a love song. >> Where did he go? >> Well, that ends my show all of a sudden? You're a really great crowd. Thank you very much. Take it with you when you smooch. >> Jake, help me. I don't want to die. I'm still on second season of Game of Thrones. >> Sorry to do this to you, man. I saw an opening and I had to take it. I can't go to jail. I'M TOO COOL. >> AWAY FROM ME, JUDY. >> I can't hear what you're saying. You're real far away. I'll just assume you're finally admitting we're best friends. >> NO, THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M SAYING. >> THANK YOU. Means a lot to me. Enjoy the rest your crew. Just remember, you got a fine lady. Don't be out there tangling in the mud. Check your pockets. >> Blue blue, stay blue, baby. >> No, no, no. He's not a cop. He can't be wearing any of this. >> It's just a windbreaker. It's not like I gave him a badge and a gun. Oh, he has both of those things. >> It's not loaded. I just want to [ __ ] it and say a cool cop catchphrase. New York's finest just got a whole lot finer. Give me that. >> You talking about me? I'm a cop now. >> No, you're not. >> Then why do I have a badge and a gun? >> The thin blue line just got thick as hell. >> Come on, shooty. >> It's not loaded. >> The Pontiac Bandit and Jake are cops. With the wise-cracking captain along for the ride, they'll have adventures wherever they go. >> The talking dog flies in outer space. >> What languages do you speak? French? Spanish? Some Portuguese, obviously Greek, and enough Flemish to get by. >> Tight. >> What about you, Peralta? >> Um I can do a pretty good Italian accent. >> You think you could milk me? >> So, you're just doing De Niro for me to parents? >> I don't know, am I? >> This is De Niro. I think it's pretty good. >> No, mine's better. >> Pretty good. >> We're just making America >> Okay. >> Got you a little sum sum. >> Gertie? >> Nope, but she is the exact same make, model, and color. >> Oh my god, you stole this. I can't be driving a stolen >> Relax, man. I bought it at a used car lot for like $600. This is not a nice vehicle. >> Yeah, it's not. >> And by the way, her name's not Gertie. It's Sexarella. >> Hello, Sexarella. >> I can neither confirm nor deny. Bam! >> Your cuffs and your pins, sir. >> That was incredibly fast. Consider my mind freaked. On that note, it is time for sexy a surprise number two. A classic Jake and Judy outfit change. >> I'm feeling this print. >> I thought you might. We got tigers and two cans. >> Tigers and toucans? >> Ooh, and now for the piece de resistance. >> Little French, I like where this is going. >> Et voila. PB and and J? >> Peanut butter and Jake go together like peanut butter and jelly. >> It's never coming off. Except for in a couple of hours I'm going to have to check in the prison for 5 years. >> Journey, not the destination. >> It's never coming off. >> That's the spirit. Let's ride. >> A lot of room for arms. I like that. >> I thought you would. >> Doug and Jake rolling down the street. >> PB and J, a tasty little treat. >> Two cool dudes making sandals for your feet. >> What? >> I was going for the rhyme, but now I kind of feel like it's a good idea. >> Love it. Making sandals that last is our ideology, made real by our patented strapless technology. It's magnets. >> Yo, you can wear them on the beach. >> Wear them on a hike. >> Wear them on a Peloton exercise bike. Doug and Jake, two best friends, PUT THE PREMIUM OVER THE TOP SHOES FOR MEN. THAT WAS CRAZY. >> You never even rehearsed it, you just did it perfectly. Thanks for saving me back there with the Estelle Menderman thing. >> Won't let them hurt you, Jake. We're PB and J. >> We're PB and J. I want to hug you, but you're cuffed. >> You can hug me. >> Okay. You can take it. I'll see you soon. Hello? >> Hey, Perotta. What's good? >> Hey, Doug. Are you okay? >> I wanted you to know, and I've been thinking about it a lot. I didn't mean what I said. I'm glad I met you. Sure, it ended badly, but we had some good times along the way, too. We went on a cruise together. >> We flew on Mark Cuban's jet. >> We ate at a restaurant next to Gail from Top Chef. >> Yeah, and then you got so mad at her about Last Chance Kitchen. >> mad. I just think it's insane that they make you go online to watch it. >> The point is >> I wouldn't trade those moments for anything. I'm choosing to focus on the journey. >> Wait a minute. What language is that? >> I don't know. Maybe Dutch. There's a lot of that in here. >> You know how active the Dutch mafia is in Jersey? >> Judy. >> Okay, fine. Surprise! I'm in Amsterdam. I escaped from prison. My wife and I are living a life here now. Amsterdam is great, Jake. They got universal health care, legalized marijuana, and the workers are treated so much better. But you know what the best part is? >> That you're a free man again. >> No, stroopwafels. They're like these wafer cookies with caramel in between.