Andrew. Go. [ __ ] Move that away. Andrew, don't come any closer. Leave. Read my sign. Read my sign before you do that. You insensitive prick. Look at what you did to me. Are you trying to burn me up? No. I'm put on fire. [ __ ] Why don't I do it myself? No. Yeah. No. Yeah. You tried to [ __ ] do it. [ __ ] get out. Read my read this right there, [ __ ] It's my DNR. DNR. You are bound to honor my last will and testament there. Read it. Fantastic. You can't light fires on sidewalks. Yes, I can. I just did it. I can't. I just did it. You can't do that. I just did. I know you did. YOU PUT IT OUT. YES, I DID. SO, WHO'S RIGHT? Did Can I light a fire in a sidewalk? No. Yes, I can. I just did. No, you can't pull your head out of your ass. [ __ ] old 295. I can figure out who old 295 belongs to. I sure as [ __ ] can. Yeah, me. There's computers. Yeah, there are computers. I don't know exactly where you live and where you little girl goes to church. Don't have a little girl and I don't go to church. If she would, I'd go find her at church and have tea with me. Yeah, we better get a You might want one of your little squirters, too. Yeah, we're sir, sir. So, do you know what a DNR is? I am familiar with the paperwork. Yes, sir. Usually, it stands for do notate. Yes, sir. Mine stands for do not resate. I don't need your help. Okay. I hate this place. I hate God's way because God thinks it's fun to punish people for their stupidity. 13 to8. I extinguished the fire, but you may want to still respond here because Andrew's uh not too happy with me. Let me read what it says. And I have some very unique spelling. This is my dining wish. I extinguished the fire, but you still may want to respond here. Andrew is not happy with me. Usually they people assume. Yeah. Give it a good rock and put those asses up on my blanket, please. Because a fire the policeman doesn't know how to point a goddamn fire extinguisher. He tried to Here we go. That's the way to do it. That's the way to do it. We've been dealing with him all night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. And if you don't pick up is correct. I am not a fireman. I don't I will find a proper fire. I wanted to put out a fire and he didn't because he's part of God's creation, too. And I think that God for punishing me for thousands of years. I'm done. in a previous call. Oh, by the way, we do. Uh, no. The other officers coming here. You're getting my There's no flame here. There's no right there. So, I was making sure they were nice and cool for you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you. You got to when you got glue all over your hand, you got to make sure and use your other hand because otherwise it'll clog up your lighter. Unless it's dry enough and you use a different part of your thumb. It's really, really, really hard to get this kind of service and attention from public servants, especially our godamn US government. In all their infinite wisdom, they don't believe that the Taliban is smart enough to take a blood transfusion from and plant the evidence that they got him. Thank you. Osama bin probably lives right next to Osama Obama bin L. What's his name? Barack Obama. He's probably next door neighbors with Barack Obama. So he had a large fire of some uh papers and a bunch of stuff. Okay. Uh, so I got my fire extinguisher out, shot it out. He got pissed off because I didn't fill off I didn't uh respect his DNR that he wrote on this piece of cardboard. And uh that the only way to make godamn sure your forest fire is out is to first of all water. I mean, the only other thing I would say is you can sight them for reckless burning and then take them down. I won't need that some but someday somebody will want it. But that's not going to stop anything. Excuse me. Well, I guess now public urination deal with this problem stays situated. Score always score at 5:00 a.m. on a Friday. I'm still trying to catch up on paper. Oh, [ __ ] My lighter carrier is right over here. This is my fire feather. Fire feather bill. Thank you. Thank you. I almost made a mistake and killed myself. I tried hard, boy. I did. I even formed. Adrian, how are we going to alleviate this problem from happening again where we don't have to respond? Just leave me alone. Well, are you not going to build more fires? I can't guarantee that. Well, you got to get cold again. Well, you got to guarantee. Get cold. What do you do getting cold? I put on more clothes. Go hop in your car. I put on more clothes. Put on a blanket and a sweatshirt. You got plenty of clothes here. Well, actually, could I could I actually have the luxury of indoor heat that's paid by my godamn taxes? You've got a blanket and a sweater there. You're not wearing shoes. It's 60° and the sun's coming up. Here it comes. Here it comes. He's going to do it. Remember I told you what was going to happen if we had to come back here for your fire? We had this discussion. I can't remember. I don't even know what [ __ ] year it is. 2020 as far as I can tell. Pretty close. I grew up on a John Deere 2020. What was the point of the fire? Why'd you build the fire? Why would you build a fire? To stay warm. Were you trying to kill yourself? Yes, sir. There's my last will and testament. There's a DNR. Do not resuscitate. You are bound by law. You are bound by law to honor that. But actually, I don't want you to do not resuscitate. I don't want you to [ __ ] rescue me. I don't need rescuing. Y'all need rescuing from delusional [ __ ] thinking. I do. Cuz the only thing I can think of is Oh, sometimes you got to pump it. You got to pump it. Um, other than that, I mean, it's it doesn't uh crime. We can arrest them and take them to downtown and release him there on paper or this is a hand here. But here goes. [ __ ] Starbucks is going to open here. So all over yourself. He's really peeing and the camera's catching this and I want to put You're just You're just wanting to up charges, aren't you? Yeah. Why? To show the system how [ __ ] stupid it is. How are you showing the system? Osama bin Laden lives within one mile. Can you put your dick back in your pants, please? I don't know how. Disorderly. Can you show me? Nobody. Nobody. And I'm not lying. Nobody has ever showed me. Nobody has ever showed me how to put my dick in my pants. Are you Let me just try it. Yeah, you try it. There. Underwear. That should do it. She do it if a girl can run around in a little booty shorts and then and then uh uh [ __ ] flirt with a racial slurs gets [ __ ] like she was trying to get [ __ ] Then she says, "Well, you must be raped me." Andrew, this officer here is going to place you under arrest. We need you to turn around. Put your hands behind your back. Hands behind your back. Take a few more drags. Then we got to put that out. All right. Am I free to take my shoes? Yes, you were going to take your shoes. Okay. And I don't like them [ __ ] jail shoes. They don't fit. Okay. So, I'd prefer Please don't put Okay, it's not too tight. I like that. 138's got one in custody. Copy. Copy. It shouldn't be very long. I'll be I'll be able to see a judge. Yes, sir. Move my car. Actually, I'm going to take the lesson of little kids and your feet your toes will stay straight if you're only wearing opposites. If you're only broke enough to buy shoes that don't fit. Okay. Can you push that back in before it falls? All right. Like I said, take a couple more drags and then we got to put it out. Yeah. If you got gnarly ass looking toes, it's because your shoes are too [ __ ] narrow. You buy a size 13 but don't give a [ __ ] how wide it is. So, what needs to go with you here? My the backpack and the everything everything is of value to me. You may consider it it's falling out again. [Applause] Well, what I'm saying is the jail isn't going to take a lot of this stuff. Then you must protect it. Okay. So, you want it to get impounded into our evidence locker. Last scrap. Okay. Except this cardboard. It can stay. Okay. And I think that's about it. You got that, that, and this stuff. Yeah. Make sure that the the there's a there's a sharp stick in my back pocket, but it will not hurt you. It's a fragment of that stick. This pocket? Yep. There's also a hair comb in there. Oh, and a $2 lottery ticket. Oh, I should have cashed that in while we're here. It's falling out again. All right, last pops. Let's put this in your backpack. You ch in there? Yeah, I got it out. Okay. It goes with the other sticks. Okay. And there's my joint. I have a lot of that. I paid for that. Okay. I paid for it from the Trippy Tippy Trippy today. Like three or four bucks. I I can't remember, but they give me great deals. Better deals than anybody else gets. I'll tell you. You have a Oh, that is going to have to be uh Let me see. That is going to have to be. You have a It's going to have to be a bruise or something. No, it's a rash. Oh, okay. Okay. It's an infection. Hold on. Hold on. Well, no. We'll make sure it goes. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Okay. It go It's It's to be rubbed on my clatrez. Do you know what a clatrezole is? That's the name of the medicine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's another meaning. My clatosol is that area of skin that is shared between your scrotum and the inside of your thigh. Okay, that's what a clot primosol is. Okay, that's and the doctor and the doctor prescribed clot primosol cream to wipe on my clotol here. Yeah, my clot primosol is Oh, this is See, okay, I'm I'm I'm complying. I'm complying. But the reason that so ballistic in the back of these cars is because is because they are so uncomfortable. They are not super comfortable. You turn sideways if you have to, sir. Um he said all of this stuff is important to him. Well, I'll make some of the determination here. Uh I put all that stuff there. He's got this blanket. That's the blanket. He can take the backpack. He can take. Are you just going to release him at the jail? I'm No, I'm going to try and [ __ ] release on reckless burning and disorderly. I'm sure they'll Are you still alive? Yeah, I'm still on. I'm sure. Yeah, we'll let the sports do it. That's just He just pulled that out of the garbage. Okay. There's that. Cuz I know the jail's not taking backpacks still, right? Yeah. Found all this. We got a hat in here. He's got a bunch of food [ __ ] Yeah. No, the food shit's from He just pulled that out of the trash right over there. So, what do you want to do with it? Leave it here. And then what about this? The hat and the backpack. It looks a little like garbage. Uh I'm going to take this X9 just impounding this for safekeeping. The backpack. Yeah. And the hat. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. And then I will take and the Oh, and this DNR. Okay. I guess the blanket too if you don't mind. Do it in a big [ __ ] pile of a pile of stuff. Okay. [Music] and his walking sticky fire extinguisher. Do we have to refill these after we shoot them one? Yes, I think so. We do. Yeah. Get a new one from We got to take it to the shop, right? Yeah, I believe so. Huh? I believe so. Yeah. Okay. Good for you. Thanks, sir. I'll be in End of contact.