- Catching criminals is tough, but sometimes the real challenge isn't the crook, it's keeping a straight face and not bursting in laughter. - Today Detective Dale is taking us through five hilarious arrests, that will have you laughing out loud. Fair warning though, your jaws may hurt from the endless chuckles. - Having a friendly chat with your neighbor isn't uncommon, but when this elderly man tried saying hello, things got crappy real quick. - [Neighbor] I don't understand. She slammed this bag of, in my face, and I pushed backwards and then I tried to push her away, and my hand got caught in her long hair on this side. a 76-year-old man dialed 9-1-1 to report an utterly bizarre incident. It turns out his neighbor, Kali Robertson, was strolling with her dog in a St. Petersburg mobile home lot, when a casual good morning from him made her go nuts. Robertson grabbed her dog's feces from a bag and smeared it all over his face. The police arrived to find the poor man still covered in dog excrement, wondering what on earth he did wrong. - What's going on? - I have a dog. - Okay. - I walked my dog this morning and I was sitting on a park bench down the end of the road. Do you want me to show you where it was? - No, it's okay. - Okay. (coughing) I'm sitting on the bench with my dog beside me, and I see somebody over on the corner T that we call it, I call it, and I wave and I yelled hello. Now, I couldn't see the person's face, I didn't know who it was, but I always yell and wave hello to everybody, always. And nobody ever has reaction. They say, "Hi, how are you? Blah, blah, blah, blah," or come visit the dog. Well, she got done walking her dog, and I saw that she, the dog, and she picked it up, and came walking over to me, sturdy as you will, and saying something. I said, "Wait, wait, I can't hear you." I'm hard of hearing. So she comes slamming over to me, and took the dog, she had from her dog, and rammed it into my face and said, "I've told you not to talk to me. I'm a woman alone, I'm a single woman alone." I have no idea what that's about. And then as she walked away, she called me. - [Officer] Do you have any idea where she lives? - [Neighbor] Oh, yes. Oh yeah. - [Officer] All right, do you have your ID with you? - [Neighbor] No I don't, but I can go get it. - [Officer] It's all right, I'm gonna get a photo of you here before we do anything else. - [Neighbor] Okay. I can't believe she did it. I don't know why she did it. - [Officer] Have you ever had any interaction with her before? - Yes. I was starting to tell you- - Face me. - First time I knew her was- - Can you face me? I'm gonna do this real quick. - [Neighbor] I was walking my dog up the road here, and for some reason I stopped to look behind me, and she is crouching with her dog, down like this on the road. And I don't why, but it startled me and my dog, and I almost stumbled and fell over. And so I just walked away and went up that way. Nothing else was, there's nothing said. So then I came out one morning and waved hello and said hello, and she told me to, off, and read me an tyranny of cursing you wouldn't believe. And I said, "What did I do to you? I don't even know you." She says, "I told you not to talk to me. Sometimes you talk to me, sometimes you don't." I have never known the woman to talk to her. I don't yet. So I did say good morning a couple times after that, simply 'cause I say good morning to everybody. And then this morning she did that over there. - What's she wearing today? - Oh good Lord, I couldn't tell you, sir. - What's she look like? - She's my height almost. A little, (phone buzzing) not as big as me probably, and long hair. Very long hair that's streaked on the lower ends of it, gold streaks on the ends. - [Officer] Hello, need to speak with you. - With me? - Yeah. - Okay. - Did you have an altercation with the gentleman standing over there today? - Um yelled at each other, is that an altercation? We yelled at each other a few times. - [Officer] Okay, what's going on between you and him? - Honestly, all it is, you know, I'm a woman, young, by myself out here. He has yelled at me before several times, 7:00 in the morning, just yelling hello. And I told him, I said, "Hey." I said, "I don't know you, you don't know me." I said, "Don't yell at me." He keeps doing it, I said, I was like, "Hey, I said stop." I was like, "This is the last time, I said stop." I was like, "I really don't know you, you don't know me. I'm a young woman by myself," I was like, off. And then today I yelled a little more. I did call him a, I do feel bad for that. I don't usually use the word, but all I want is him to just like, not yell at me in the morning. Like, can he not do that? - [Officer] How did he get dog feces smeared across his forehead. - What? - [Officer] There is dog feces smeared across his forehead. - I don't know anything about that. - Okay, 'cause he's saying- - I mean, I do have a dog, but I don't pick up his feces like that. - [Officer] Well, he's saying you picked it up, walked over and smeared it across his forehead today. - No, no, I did walk over and yell at him, 'cause when I was yelling, because I was probably about here to that camper from him, and he said he couldn't hear me, so I walked a little closer, but I didn't, no. Why would I, that's gross. Who would do that? - [Officer] I'm just telling you what I'm seeing. - Okay, no. - Do you have- - Nothing more than yelling. - Do you have any- - And it, it doesn't matter, 'cause- - [Officer] Do you have any identification on you? - I know I can get it. I live right there, I can get it outta my purse. - Would you be so kind? - Yeah. Come on, babies. - Kali not only denied smearing anything on her neighbor's face, but she also blamed him for her ridiculous behavior. However, the police could see through the 28-year-old, and instantly sensed that she wasn't exactly handling the situation cleanly. - [Officer] How many times have you had an altercation with him? - (lips flapping) I mean, yelling back and forth, like six or seven. It's mostly him yelling at me, and me just telling him to off, and walking away. - [Neighbor] And how long have you been staying here? Quite a while if you've got it on your driver's license, I'd imagine. - Yeah, I've been, I've been living in this RV park two years. I just moved over to this spot three months ago. (bird cawing) - [Officer] Were you walking your dog to let it go to the restroom this morning? - Yeah. - All right. And did your dog use the restroom? - [Kali] Yes, my dog used the restroom. - [Officer] Okay, what did you do with the waste? - [Kali] Bagged it up like we're supposed to. - And- - Do you wanna see it in the trash? (bird cawing) - Okay. - [Kali] I guess we gotta get back serious about it. - [Officer] Well, considering it was buried, I would not necessarily tend to believe that was the first one of the day, or the one he just- - Because like his- - Listen- - I'm gonna, yeah. - I'll be perfectly honest with you. - That's fine. I should probably call, you think a lawyer, or like, what's this going? Because now he's saying these things. We've only yelled at each other. Like, just like, how serious do I need to take this? - [Officer] You're being, there's a crime being alleged. So I'm investigating a battery at this point. - A battery, okay. - Mm-hmm. 'Cause smearing feces on somebody would be considered a battery. You were sitting here- - I yelled hello. - [Officer] You were sitting at this bench right here? - I sat on this bench here. - Okay. - [Neighbor] And I saw somebody, I didn't know it was her, but then later she came out from there and walked around over there behind the boat, and I saw her dog had crapped, and I saw she picked it up and I thought, "Oh, that's good." And then I just sat there, like I do often with my dog, and she starts strolling over with a purpose, but I didn't know what her purpose was. And as she was coming over from about the middle of the gray asphalt, she was yelling at me, and I said to her, "Slow down, slow down. I can't understand you, I can't hear you." And she came up upon me, I guess she said, "I told you not to talk to me, blah, blah, blah. I'm a single woman living alone." I don't understand, she said that to me a couple times. You know, I don't know. And she's slammed this bag of, in my face, and I pushed backwards, and then I tried to push her away, and my hand got caught in her long hair on this side. But she got up, and as she was getting up, she called me a, and something else, and off she strode. - [Officer] So the feces was in a bag that she had in her hand? - Yes. - [Officer] What color, do you remember what color the bag was? - [Neighbor] You know, I was thinking about that. It was, you know, (dispatch chattering) they make these neon colors. It was- - Copy. - [Neighbor] Sort of like a teal, the color of my house. It wasn't blue, it wasn't green, it was a mixed shade. - [Officer] And what hand did she push up against you with? - [Neighbor] This hand, I'm sure. - So the right hand? - Yes. - [Officer] And then did she take the bag with her as well? - [Neighbor] Oh yeah, she took it all with her. It's up there somewhere. She threw it away, but I don't know where she threw it away at. - [Officer] Okay, all right, 'cause she says that everything you said happened except for that, that's the only thing- - The, in my face. - [Officer] Correct, it's the only thing she doesn't admit to, she says that's the one thing that she did not do. - Oh, that's- - [Officer] She admitted to using the foul language. She admitted to using the very unkind description of you. However, she says that was verbal only and there was no physical altercation. - [Neighbor] Oh, that's a lie, that's a lie. I want her charged. - Well, I'm going to. I mean, 'cause that's what you want. I'm gonna charge her, but- - Oh, I do, do, do. - The officer now had all the information he needed, and for Kali it meant one thing, she was in deep trouble. The officer approached Kali once again and asked if she had any dog bags. Instantly she produced a bag that matched the description from her neighbor. However, trying to be clever, she quickly swapped it out for a different bag. - [Officer] Ma'am, do you have any dog bags on you? (bird cawing) - Yeah. Oh, hold on boy, hold on. Boy, hold on. (bird cawing) - [Officer] Pull out the one you just had in your hand. Yeah, that's the one that's sitting on the bench. Right by the bench. (Kali speaking indistinctly off mic) Okay, so you're gonna be charged with battery, because the physical evidence is still sitting over there. It's that bag right there, the green one. It does have feces on it. It matches the feces that's on his forehead, unless you would like to amend your statement to me. Would you like me to show you the bag that's still sitting on the ground over there? 'Cause it's gonna match that one specifically, right? - Right, and- - And there's a reason you started pulling that one out and shoved it back in your pack, and then pulled out the dark black one, which is what you showed me over here. - Am I about to be arrested? Just so I can get him to somebody, or- - [Officer] I'm looking to try to not to do that, but you haven't been honest with me up until this point. Because when people are dishonest, that shows a decision to do criminal activity, and not take ownership of it. You have no criminal activity. I just ran your criminal activity history. You have nothing. - I know, 'cause I don't, I don't like to be a bad person. I don't like to yell at people, I don't like- - Okay, you understand? Listen, I've been doing this for 12 and a half years. I've put in so much investigation on this one silly, silly thing, that probably shouldn't be a thing at all. - This thing? - Oh yes. - Oh, I never realized that you had to go that far. - [Officer] Well, the fact that I had to just prove the dog bag thing drives me crazy. But, what happened between you and him today? 'Cause this isn't the first altercation, but this is the first time it's gotten- - I just wanted him to stop yelling at me. Would you yell at a woman by herself? - [Officer] But how did all this start, is my question. - That's it, he just yelled at me , and I yelled back. Probably the wrong day that I yelled back. 'Cause I said, I told him, and then I went inside. He came up and walked on my lot, told me he didn't know what the, was wrong with me, and that's the start of all of it. - Okay. - And then ever since then, he yells morning at me, and I tell him to, not to yell morning at me. - [Officer] So as far as what happened today, did it happen the way you said, or did it happen the way he said? (Kali sighing) - I think we all know what happened. - Ma'am, I need to know- - And if I- - [Officer] Did you smear feces in his face with a green bag that you have in your pack? - (sighing) Yeah. - Okay. The reason I asked you, and the reason I cannot push this issue with you any further- - I know you can't help me. - [Officer] Well, here's the thing. You committed, what you did today is considered a battery, right? In Pinellas, listen, please listen. - I know, I know, I'm listening. I know I'm in trouble. - [Officer] In Pinellas County, we have something called adult diversion, right? - He's 76. - Oh God. I shoulda just called the lawyer. - [Officer] Well I mean, regardless of what happened. - Senior a***e, is that what y'all are saying? - Oh this, no, it's not senior a***e. - [Officer] Now there's, it's battery of a gentleman of 65 or older, which makes it a felony. - Does it always get charged like that? No, not always, right? But- - And if he yanked on my hair, that wouldn't matter at all. - [Officer] Oh, he said he got a hold of your hair, but that was after- - Oh yeah. He yanked me and pulled me. - But he said that was after he got the feces smeared in his face. - He yanked on me when I walked up to him. - Was he sitting or standing? - It was, it was, he was sitting, and I had walked up to him , and I held the dog poop up and I said, "Don't stay hello to me anymore." And he's, I mean he grabbed my hair, and I put the dog, and this time I'm telling you this, I'm not gonna sit here and say I didn't do it first, or he did it first, but it- - [Officer] If you're really looking for the specifics of that, you closed the distance to him where he was in a seated position. He was in a position of disadvantage, as you walked up to him at that point. (Kali sighing) - I guess- - You said back there- - This is probably what he wanted. This is why he kept yelling at me. He wanted me to get to this point, now that I really think about it, I'm stupid. (sighing) - [Officer] Do you have somebody that dog can stay with? - I can take him down to my neighbors. You gotta take me in right now? - [Officer] Due to the severity of the crime. Yeah, I do. - After arranging for her dog's care with the neighbor, Kali got what she deserved, a swift ride to the police station. - All right, his name's Brian. - Brian. - [Officer] Okay, all right. Yeah call your mom, and she's gotta get ahold of Brian, right? Yeah, call your mom and let her know, and she's gonna get ahold of Brian. - [Kali] Yeah, let her know I'm being arrested, I'm real sorry, but Mandy can get to the information to Brian, that comes to me, everything he needs. - Brian's a lawyer? - Brian's a lawyer. - Here? - Yes, they're here. Brian is a lawyer here. I might have his business card in my purse, just- - Talk to Mom, talk to her boss Mandy, and get a client Brian, who's a lawyer, his phone number. - Kali was charged with felony battery on a person 65 or older, and later pleaded guilty to the charge. There's no denying that this incident was a crappy day for him, literally. If you found this woman crazy, the one up next will take wild to a whole new level. - I know what the police does. - [Officer] What do we do? - I know what the police does. - [Officer] We try to get people off the street- - Yes. - That's been drinking. - No. - That's what we do. - I've not, I have not been drinking. the police pulled over a driver who'd failed to turn their headlights on in the middle of the night. However, the moment the officer laid eyes on the driver, it was clear as day, she was absolutely hammered. Little did he know that this simple encounter would turn into the funniest arrest of his life. - Ms. Rawls. - Yes. - [Officer] When you drive at night, you gotta have your headlights on. - [Meshanj] I ain't have my headlights on. - [Officer] No, you ain't have your headlights on. - [Meshanj] I had just turned outta my mama's apartment, when I met you. - [Officer] Okay. Hey, step back here with me for a moment. All right, you had anything to drink tonight? - No. - Nothing at all? - No. - Are you sure? - Yes. - How come I smell alcohol coming from you? (laughing) - I don't know why you smell that. - [Officer] I mean, it's easy. It's an easy question. Yes or no, have you been drinking tonight? - No. - You have not. - No. - All right. Well, you wanna take some field sobriety tests then? - Yes. - See if you're okay to drive? - Yes. - Okay, all right. You just look straight ahead at me. Turn around and face me, put your feet together, hands down by your side. All right, see the tip of my finger? - Yes. - Follow this, moving your eyes and your eyes only, okay? Now you can't, don't move your head. Move your eyes only. - Oh, eyes. - All right, you see this? - Mm-hmm. - [Officer] Move your eyes only. You're still moving your head. (dispatch chattering) Don't move your head. - I'm not moving my head. - [Officer] Ma'am, you're moving your head like this the whole time, all right? All right, what have you drank tonight? - Nothing. - Nothing at all? All right. You wanna provide a breath test for the portable roadside alcohol sensor? - I just did the- - [Officer] You just did the standardized field sobriety. You just did the HGN- - Yes, and my eyes were tracking. - [Officer] And your eyes are bouncing all over the place, so- - No, I followed you from there to there to there. - Okay, and what is that- - I know the law. - You know the law? - Yes. - [Officer] All right, well, what have you been drinking tonight? - I haven't drunk nothing. - All right. - I don't know why you pulled me over. - [Officer] Because you didn't have no headlights. It's dark, is it not? - Oh yeah, you pulled me over because of the headlights, and I said I was just coming out from getting my kids from my mom's. - [Officer] From your mom, and where's that at? - Right there. - Right where? That's a bank right there. - Huh? - [Officer] That's a bank right there. - No, I just turned right there. - [Officer] All right, well- - From that street right there. - [Officer] From this street over here? No ma'am you didn't, because I was sitting at the red light up there on Johnson Street and Lee Street, and you come past me. So you didn't just turn from right there. - I said I, I didn't say I turned right. there. - [Officer] So where are you coming from? - I turned from right there on Sharp Street. - On Sharp Street? - Mm-hmm. - [Officer] Sharp Street is a long ways back from right there, so you went from Sharp Street all the way up here, about a mile, without your headlights on, and you don't see a problem with that? - I didn't say I didn't see a problem. - [Officer] Okay, because a sign of somebody being impaired when they're driving, is they forget to turn their headlights on. - I'm not impaired. - Okay. - At all. - Well look, the next step, the next test, is gonna be a walk and turn, okay? You see this white line? You can use the white line. I'm gonna put you in a certain position. You're gonna hold that position until I tell you to start the test, okay? I'm gonna do a short demonstration. I'm only gonna take three steps, you'll take nine steps. Put your left foot out in front of you, all right? And you put your right foot in front of your left, heel to toe. Don't start walking yet. Don't start walking yet. - You told me not to start. - Yeah, I told you not to start until I give you a demonstration. - You said demonstrate. - Yep. - Okay. - Put your left foot out in front of you, put your right foot in front of it, heel to toe. Now just stand right there until I, heel to toe. Means your heel gotta touch your toes, all right? Just keep your hands down by your side. I'm gonna demonstrate the test. What you're gonna do is you're gonna take nine heel toe steps, one, two, three, four, five, and so forth and so forth until you get to nine. When you got that ninth step, you're gonna turn, all right? You're outta the starting position. - [Meshanj] So turn when- - You're outta the starting position. - Oh, okay. - All right? Hold this position until I tell you to start the test. - [Meshanj] Okay, where do you want me to turn? - [Officer] Hold on, I'm trying to tell you. When you get to your ninth step, you're gonna keep your lead foot planted, and you're gonna turn, taking small choppy steps, all right? - Where I'm turning to? - You're gonna turn, you're gonna come back the way you came. - I'm gonna come back up. - Now you're gonna do nine heel to toe steps, okay? It's very important when you do this test, you keep your eyes on your feet, hands down by your side. You count your steps out loud, all right? And you don't stop until you're finished. Okay, you understand all those? - Yes. - You don't have any problems that would keep you from doing this test? All right, you may begin. - The woman started performing the sobriety test, but as the cop suspected, she didn't follow all the instructions due to her foggy mind. However, when the cops confronted her, she went into a ridiculously defensive mode. - Five, six, seven, eight, nine, turn around? - [Officer] All right, now you turn and come back. - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. - All right. - Not impaired. - All right, well I'm gonna do you this. You didn't step heel to toe on any of your steps, okay? You turned improperly, you stopped the test before you finished it. - I did nine steps, steps up, and nine steps back. - [Officer] Nine heel to toe steps, those are the instructions. - You said- - Okay? - What what do you mean heel to toe? - [Officer] That means when you step, your heel touches your toe. - Oh, I did one. Oh, you want my heel to touch my toe? - That's a heel to toe step. - Oh, okay. I just did nine steps. - [Officer] Yep, and you didn't follow the two directions of the test. That's the whole point of it, okay? - I thought you were saying nine steps up and nine steps back. This is my heel. - [Officer] 840, Martin County, 1027 Georgia. You can begin, you can go, go again if you want to. - One, that's heel to toe. That's my toe. - 054-022-607, 054-022-607. - Three, four, five, these flip flops on there are coming off, 'cause they're bad. - [Officer] All right, well you can take them off, if you want to. - [Meshanj] Oh, you want me to take them off? - It's up to you. - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. That's nine down, right? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, heel to toe. - All right. - My heels touched my toe. - [Officer] All right, who owns the vehicle? You own the vehicle? - Yes. - [Officer] Okay, look here. You can keep telling me you ain't had nothing to drink, all you want to. - I haven't had anything to drink- - All right. Well, I don't believe you. - You don't believe me? I just did heel to toe- - Because first off, - Nine- - And here's why I'm telling you I don't believe you. - Okay. - All right? - I did what you instructed me to do. I did heel to toe up and down. First you said heel to toe. Then you said I have you, no. First you said nine steps up and nine steps down. - Nine heel to toe steps. - Then you said heel to toe. I did heel to toe, nine steps up and nine steps back. Now you're saying you don't believe me. - [Officer] Well I mean, because you didn't do very well on the test. - Yes I did. - No you didn't. - Yes I did. - [Officer] All right, 842. All right, you don't wanna provide a breath sample for the roadside alcohol sensor, right? - I just did heel to toe. - All right. I ain't asking you about a heel to toe step. You wanna- - Okay, 81. - [Officer] Bring her out to me. You don't wanna provide a breath sample for the roadside alcohol sensor, okay? - I did the heel to to. - You don't wanna do that? - No, I just did the heel to toe, what you asked me to do. - [Officer] All right, well listen, listen. All right? What I need you to now is turn around- - I know the law. - Turn around, put your hands behind your back. - I don't- - I know the law too. - I know the law. - Turn around, and put your hands behind your back. - For what? - Because you're under arrest. - What am I getting arrested for? - For suspicion of DUI. - I'm not suspicion. - I'm telling you- - I just did- - I'm gonna instruct you one more time. - Heel to toe. - Turn around, put your hands behind your back. - I just did heel to toe. - [Officer] I'm not gonna argue with you. - I just did heel to toe. - Turn around, and put your hands behind your back. - I know the law. - So do I. - Just did heel to toe. - Turn around, and put your hands behind your back. - I don't have to, I don't have to do, or a sobriety, because I did heel to toe. - Well, that's fine. That's your right to refuse it, all right? - Yes, that's my right. But why are you arresting me? - [Officer] Because you failed the test. - I didn't fail the test. I did did nine up and nine back. - So I'm- - When did I fail the test? - [Officer] I'm telling you, I'm telling you right now. - I did, I did this straight line. Did you see me go over here or over here? No. - [Officer] Many times, you stepped off line. - No I didn't. - All right, so I'm- - No, I didn't, - I'm gonna instruct you one more time. - I didn't did, I didn't- - [Officer] Turn around, and put your hands behind your back. - I didn't fail over here or over here. You just want to meet a quota, and I'm gonna to meet that quota. I did one, two- - What are you talking about, a quota? - Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, that's nine, heel to toe. - [Officer] What are you talking about, a quota? - Because you're trying to meet a quota before you, I mean you have to meet, before the end of the month. - [Officer] I have no quota I have to meet. - I did one, this is one. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I touched my heel to toe. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I have not stepped outside those lines, either time. Neither time. - Ms. Rawls- - I need a lawyer. - You do need a lawyer. And you need to come back to court on your specified date. - Yes, because I didn't- - 'Cause right now- - Step outside of the line. - Right now- - I did not- - Right now- - Step outside the line. - I'm telling you, you're under arrest. - What am I under arrest for? - For suspicion of DUI. - Okay, let me get, let me call- - [Officer] No, don't go back to that vehicle. - But I need to call someone. - [Officer] You ain't going back to your vehicle. - I need to call someone, because- - You will not go back to your vehicle. - I know the law. - That's fine. - I stepped on this line nine times. You said I stepped outside, I have not stepped outside of the line. - Well that'll be something- - That's easy. - [Officer] For me and your lawyer to discuss when it comes time for court, okay? - No, because I know what the police does. - What do we do? - I know what the police does. - [Officer] Try to get people off the streets that's been drinking. - Yes, no. - That's what do. - I'm not, I have not been drinking. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I keep going this line nine times. You cannot tell me, I know the law. - Ma'am. - I know the law. - The officer had had enough of her shenanigans, and it was now time to put all this drama to an end. - [Officer] Ma'am, getting loud and boisterous right now ain't gonna help it. - I'm not getting loud. Okay, I'm gonna call- - You are, and you're not going anywhere. - Yes, I need to call- - You will not. - I need to call. - You will not. - No, you can- - You are under arrest. - What am I under arrest for? - A DUI. - I called, I climbed, I called, I walked this line nine times. You want me to be DUI, but I'm not. So I need to call- - You're not going anywhere. - Who I need to call. - You will not. - Yes I do. - You get back in that car, I'm gonna tase you. - I don't, I don't care about tase. I know I clocked, I walked this line nine times, and not have stepped outside the line. You cannot do nothing about that. I walked the line nine times, I did- - [Officer] And now you're sitting here arguing about it. - I did sobriety tests. - 46, step it up. - [Meshanj] I mean, I didn't do the sobriety test, I did the the line test, whatever that is. - [Officer] Okay, well you ain't leaving. - Wait, call back up. - Hmm? I mean, it's fine. - Call back up. - [Officer] The way you're acting right now is just, it's making great - Call back up, back up. - Great video- - I don't- - [Officer] For when it comes time to go to court, okay? - [Meshanj] Hey police man, I know you, you know me. He told me, he told me to walk the line nine times. I walked the line nine times up and down. You're trying to say that I'm under arrest for DUI, but I walked the line nine times, and not have stepped outside those lines. So what are I'm under arrest for? - If he suspects that you're under the influence, he- - Suspect what? - That you're under the influence. - I'm not, I'm not suspecting under the influence. - How much have you had to drink? - Nothing. - You sure? Where you coming from? - Where you going? - Look, look, he said heel to toe, right? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Do I need to go back? - Okay, those are roadside tests, there's other things that- - [Meshanj] What other tests? - [Officer] We don't have those tests now, but if he suspects that you're under the influence, he says you're under arrest, you're under arrest. - [Meshanj] I'm not under the influence of nothing. What, I have not had anything. I don't drink, I don't- - Have you taken anything, in the- - No. - Well I mean, I know you've drank something, 'cause I can smell it. - [Meshanj] I have not drank nothing but orange soda, Fanta. - And where was that at? - At the tailgate. - What'd you drink? - Fanta soda. - 10-all. - And I can tell you who I got that from. - Are you sure it wasn't spiked? - [Meshanj] No, it was not spiked. - Okay, you got slurred speech. - [Meshanj] No, I have not have a slurred a speech. - [Officer] You just slurred it right then. - No, I did not slur it. - You slurred it again. - He advised me that you're under arrest. So go ahead and turn around, make this easy on yourself. If you say you're not drunk, hire you a lawyer. Let him fight for you. - I'm not drunk. - You're under the influence of something. - [Meshanj] I'm not under the influence of anything. I have to go to work in the morning. That's why I did not drink. - [Officer] Well, the faster you get to the jail, the faster you can bond out. - [Meshanj] I did not drink at all. That's not fair to me. I have to go to work in the morning, I have two kids. - I can, I smell it, so what did you drink? - [Meshanj] I did not drink anything but orange Fanta soda. - Okay, and what's- - I have two kids that were with me. I just dropped them off to my mom. - On Sharp Street, right? - Yes. - [Officer] And you drove from Sharp Street to here with no headlights on. - Yes. - And that's normal. - I didn't say that's normal. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I have to have the police blink their lights at me to say, "Turn on your lights," this- - All right. - If he's saying you under arrest, you're under arrest. It can only end up in one spot. And listen to me, listen to me. - [Meshanj] I'm asking, what am I under arrest for? - For being under the influence. - Under influence or what? - We don't know. - I walked the line nine times. Neither time did I go this way or this way. That's why I'm saying the police are wicked. That's not right, I know my rights. I know the rights, when I walk this line nine times- - And now you're resisting arrest. - I'm not resisting arrest. - [Officer] Well you just, you're tacking on more charges, is what you're doing. (dispatch chattering) Ms. Rawls, turn around and put your hands behind your back. - Okay, come on, I have to get somebody come get me. This is, I have to get somebody to come get me. You think I'm under the influence? I walked the line twice. I've never had a DUI, I don't drink and drive. And I walked the line twice, so I can, I mean, I'm gonna go out here and get a lawyer, and we'll see. - [Officer] All right, go ahead and step back here. - Yeah? (officers chattering) - Huh? - I was talking to this officer. - Step this way. - [Meshanj] If you do anything to me, I know my rights. - [Officer] Ma'am, everything's being recorded. So ain't nobody done nothing to you. - I know everything's being recorded, and I know how to fight too. - Well. - That's water, exactly. I haven't had anything to drink, and I got a lawyer, period. - Have a seat. - [Meshanj] I'm glad I know the law. I walked the line, I'm glad. - The woman was finally arrested, and soon after her family arrived to take care of her vehicle and belongings. But even they couldn't bear her bickering, and had just one piece of advice for her, shut up. - [Officer] All right, you're gonna drive this car, and you're gonna drive this one? - The other one. - All right. You got your license? 840, Martin County, she's in the back of the car. - Oh, so she gonna go to jail? - Yeah. For DUI, no headlights and obstruction. - All right. - From Georgia, 27-057-173227, 057-173227. Vehicle will be turned over to this subject. Here you go ma'am. - Thank you. (dispatch chattering) - Be quiet. (family and driver chattering off mic) - [Meshanj] Got me out, period. - 77- - She's gonna get me out, period, my mama's gonna get me out period. (family members and driver shouting) - [Meshanj] I've had all the tests, they walked through sobriety, I had no, I had no sobriety tests, had no- - 737 what? - Jesus Christ. - 737, 11- - Tell her to be quiet. - I'm trying to tell her to be quiet. - 1177. - Who called and said, I don't know who that is. - I have the number, 1177. And just get in the car Meshanj, and hush. - No. - Meshanj, please. Meshanj, you're gonna get in more stuff until you hush. - All right. - Meshanja, be quiet please. Just be quiet the rest of the night. - Ma'am, get- - Ma'am. - Meshanj, be quiet. - [Officer] I'm gonna close this door for you. It's open. - Okay. - All right? - Now hush. (Meshanj shouting) - [Officer] Look she don't, she don't usually act anything like that. - [Officer] That's what I'm telling you, she don't usually act like that. So, somebody musta put something in her drink, or else she's been out all night- - [Officer] She's usually like, the nicest person in the world. - So okay, she must've had something slipped in her drink, so. - Wow. - [Officer] All right, I'm gonna sign off. - [Officer] I'm gonna continue to deal with this at the jail. - 1177. (family and Meshanj shouting) - [Officer] Ms. Rawls, do you have a number you wanna give them? - No, I'm fixing to give, all the numbers because I know my rights. I passed the walk test. - All right. I'm trying to help you. - You wanna f**k with me? - [Meshanj] F**k y'all, f**k y'all, period. I don't care. - All right. - I passed the walk test. I got rights, I got rights. I know my rights, just like Sandra Bland. Can y'all tell me about her? - I don't know who that is. - [Meshanj] Can y'all tell me about her? - I don't know who that is. - Yeah, y'all arrested her. - [Family Member] How do you put the car in drive? - Just like Sandra Bland, they arrested her. Tell me what happened- - Meshanj, the clutch please. - [Officer] I don't believe I arrested any, Ms. Bland. - [Family Member] Ask her how she put her car in drive? - [Officer] How do you put your car in drive? - [Meshanj] Look just put, it's a button at bare bottom. Press it and put it in drive. - [Family Member] Okay, she said it's a button. Push it, put in in drive. Ease up on, might feel the gas. - [Meshanj] I know my rights, period. My baby didn't know the rights. Ain't none of y'all finna win. He got the money period. None of y'all, he finna get me out ASAP, I know. Who y'all think you are? You wanna arrest me, for what? I ain't never got, I don't get arrested for nothing but a traffic ticket. - [Officer] Well no, this is traffic tickets. - No this is, I'm not DUI, you was lying. You wanna get the room, oh, you wanna take a sobriety test because I missed the walk test. That's why you want sobriety test me. No, I know my rights. Who you think you is? I'm smart. Hee hee hee, we'll see when we go to court. - [Officer] Yep. We sure will. - As a former detective, I can say this with confidence. Out of all the bizarre cases, it's situations like these where officers often wish that when criminals are given the right to remain silent, they'd actually use it. The woman was charged with DUI. Just like this woman, the guy up next just couldn't keep his mouth shut. - You are being power hungry, bunch of, son of a. the Salt Lake City Police Department received a distressing report about a turbulent situation inside a plane. Turns out that an intoxicated passenger on the flight was wreaking havoc. The man was reportedly growling, and hurling aggressive remarks at fellow passengers. He even insisted on exiting the plane while its soared over 30,000 feet in the air. Another passenger recorded all of this drama. - Sit down now. - You can't hold us. - But we're not on the ground. - Were not on the ground, sir. - We're not on the ground. - Yes we are. We're already broken. - Sit. Is anyone else getting up? Sit. - God. - Sit. You sit down in that seat, and you stay there. - Joe Biden, really? (Timothy growling) Already went off. - Wrong day, sit. - You are the power hungry, bunch of f*****g son of a b*****s. - You're right. - That's all you're being. Yeah, that's what you think about us. That is exactly what you think about us. God bless America. - Thankfully the plane landed safely, and the police sprang into action, ready to confront the turbulence head on. - He's in that second row, zero two Delta. (officers and crew chattering) - [Captain] I'm a deadheading captain. I had to sit here the whole time. - Hey buddy. - I think of America as not a- Hey buddy. - Disgrace. - Come here, hey. - I think of America- - Come on, let's go. - As not a disgrace. - Come on, let's go. - Really? - Yeah, yeah. - Come here. - Really? - Gotta go, buddy. - I think of America as not a disgrace, really? Really, really gentlemen, really? I think of America as not a disgrace, and you wanna arrest me, really? I'm different. - Whoa, whoa. (Timothy shouting) - Oh my God, you threw me- - I didn't throw you. - Down the stairs. - I did not. - [Timothy[ You threw me down the stairs. - You got him? - Really? Gentlemen, you're, (shouting) I'll make it work. - Okay, come on. (Timothy shouting) - [Timothy] See I, come on guys, come on guys, stop. Stop, stop. - Hold on. Hold on, hold on. - Stop, you're making it, you're making it worse. You're killing, you're killing me. - [Officer] Okay, set him down. Sit up. - Christ, really? - Sit up. - Really? I'm a veteran, and you're gonna strip me, you're gonna strip me. But really, really? Guys, really? You're going to strip me of my dignity. Why did you, why did you, I give my, I served in, why did I, I give my service, and why, why? Why I did that, I give my life, and you guys, I shouldn't expect that, you're gonna strip me of my service, and why, why? I can't, I can't, I cannot, I cannot. - Please listen. - I can't, I can't understand why you're gonna, I just wanna go. - Hey. - I just wanna go. - Hey. - Do my service, and do my service, I just had- - Hey. - I just, I just- - Sir. - I just- - Sir. - And you strip me- - Sir. - And you strip me- - [Officer] I don't think there's gonna be any use talking to him. - I gotta go to, I gotta go back, and you gotta, I will, oh, oh. (Timothy shouting) - Hey, calm down. - Stop. - Calm down, calm down. (Timothy shouting) - You want us to grab him? - Yeah. (Timothy shouting) (officers chattering) - Go ahead. - Soldier. (dispatch chattering) Soldier, soldier. - Whoo. - Stir a, I spend a, I spend a, soldier. - I want you to calm down. (Timothy shouting) Calm down. - Now imagine all this happening 30,000 feet in the air, stuck with this person with no escape. It must have been a total nightmare for the passengers and the flight attendants alike. Fortunately, this nightmare came to an end, and the man was headed to face the consequences of his actions. - [Officer] I would like you to calm down so I can understand you. - 13, 13 soldiers that have stalled- - Okay. - In Afghanistan. - Calm down, and just- - Do you understand? - I can't understand till you stop- - Do you understand? - Okay, stop yelling. - 13 soldiers that have died- - I would like you- - In Afghanistan. - Where was this at? - Do you understand? - I'm trying to, yes sir. - Do you understand? 13th soldier. - I'm sorry. - That have died in Afghanistan. - Sir. - Do you, do you, do you understand? - Get the leg. - That 13 soldiers have died- - Tim, Tim. - Yes sir. - In Afghanistan. Do you, do you know- - Yes sir. - Do you have, you don't know. - Tim. - About- - Tim. - Afghanistan. - Tim. - No. - Tim, if you- - Do you? - Tim. - Do you? - Tim. - Do you? - Hey. - Understand. - Hey. - About- - You want us to understand? - No, no. - You want us to understand? - No, no they don't. No, they don't understand about 13, sir, why are you walking away? - [Officer] I don't want you to do anything- - They don't understand. They don't understand about 13 soldiers. - Tim, I do understand. - No they don't. No they don't. - Okay. - The man was taken to a hospital to treat his injuries, and was later issued a citation for public intoxication and disorderly conduct. - They say you should always be yourself, unless you are a drunk person trying to get on a plane. In that case, maybe just be someone who stays on the ground. Moving ahead, ae have another limited edition drunkard who was so tipsy, he thought his booze level were twice illegal minute. You'll get what I mean shortly. - No, I don't have now, no I don't know my alphabet backwards. - Me neither. - That's ridiculous. - Do you know it forward? - That's some stupid- - Do you know it forward? - No. No, no, no, no, no. a New Mexico state police officer spotted an SUV wobbling between lanes like a toddler on a sugar high. Upon stopping the vehicle, the officer was greeted with strong alcohol fumes emanating from the car. The driver, quite the comedian at first, turned the sobriety tests into a bit of a side show. But as you might guess, things started going south when he failed. - What's up? - Hello. This stupid thing is broken. I bought it, and look at it. - 10-06, Fields here. - It's in. - Oh okay, huh? - But this thing is broken. I bought it or for $500, park, reverse, neutral, drive, right? - Okay. - I put it into drive, and it is in another gear. - [Officer] Gotcha, gotcha, what's your name? - Irvyng. - Irvyng. Do you have a license on you, boss? - Yes sir. No, sir. And you know what's craziest? - What's that, what's crazy? - I got zero points. - [Officer] You got zero points on your license? - Yes, sir. - That's good though, right? - I'm extremely happy about it. - And it's Irvyng? - Yes sir, Irvyng. I-R-V-Y-N-G. - Could you do a favor, come here and talk to me real quick. - Yes, sir. - [Officer] Do you have insurance, registration? - Yes, I got insurance into this car. I bought this, this thing, you know what I mean? - Okay. - But like, I have nothing to do with the license. You know, seriously. - Okay. - You know, but the insurance is up to my name and everything. - Okay, come back- - My girlfriend- - [Officer] Come back here. Where you heading to? - My house. - Okay, cool. Come here with me. I'm gonna turn off all these flashing lights. I'm gonna turn them off. - No, that's fine, go ahead. - [Officer] They're kind of annoying, right? - Please, they're annoying, - Right? I agree with you boss. - [Irvyng] I'm sorry, what's your name? - Officer LaFave. - Officer LaFave. Nice to meet you, sir. - All right, 410, do you copy? - Three copy. - Do you mind, can I- - Hold on. - Get my spirit? - No, hold on. - Officer LaFave. - My man, hey you boss. - My birthday's tomorrow and I hung out with my friends, because my friend Will, and then Bailey, their birthday is two days ago, you know? So we were supposed to hang out and then we didn't. And they were like, "Hey, do you wanna go grab a beer?" And I said, "No, no, no," I got outta work very late. And I was like, "Okay," and now we hung out. - Okay, so here we go. - Yeah. - [Officer] So let me tell you why I'm stopping you. - Go ahead. - Okay. Back over there when I was on the freeway, okay? You were actually approaching Carlisle, and at the last minute you just jerked the wheel. Hold, hold on, hold on, hold on. So then, so then like you passed me, okay? Your right tires are riding on that line, okay? Then you pass me, and then I'm catching up to you. Then you make a right-hand turn onto San Mateo, and you immediately jump into the middle lane. You need to jump into the lane closest to you. Then you're- - Okay, makes sense. - [Officer] Then like, your vehicle's kinda jerky. So then way over there I put my lights on, way down there. And I don't know if you didn't see me or what. - Didn't. (laughing) - You didn't see me, boss? Okay, cool. - Didn't, didn't didn't. - So then- - Give you the benefit of the doubt, okay yeah. - [Officer] So then, like your car, it was like, it was like roll forward, then you stop, then your backup lights would come on. But I know, you told me about the whole thing. - Yeah, I'd love for you to see this. Please be in my passenger side. - Oh no, I don't have to- - Where I can put it in park, reverse, neutral, drive, park, and it just keeps going, whomp, whomp. It's ridiculous, and I'm not even joking, you know? - So you- - Besides that, besides that in all reality, my girlfriend, she works in the freaking insurance company, you know? - Okay, that's good. - So I have it. - Good, good. - You know? I genuinely don't care for that. - So- - We can do that all day. - [Officer] That's okay, I don't worry about that. So Mr. Rodriguez, you know, I actually believe that you have insurance. Okay Mr. Rodriguez, how much did you have drink today? - Nothing. - Nothing at all? - Earlier I did, but you know, you know what the rule is? - [Officer] What's the rule? Go ahead, let me hear it. - They say two, but for me, nothing at all three hours. I had one beer three hours ago. - [Officer] Okay, what time is it now, do you think? - What is it? - Without looking. - Like 10:00. - You'd say it's about 10:00 right now? - 10:00, 10:00. - [Officer] So you had your beer around 7:00 ish? - 7:00, 10:00, 9:00, whenever I got outta work around, and you can check my text messages- - Oh, I believe you. - On my phone. 6:30, 7:00, 8:00, around 8:00 was my last beer. - [Officer] Okay, gotcha. So that's probably why I can smell it from your breath. - Okay go ahead, exactly. - Cool. So, any kinda major head injury? - Nothing. - Okay, here. Just stand right here. - Okay. - [Officer] Just stand on my light, and turn and face me with your whole body, right there. Put your heel and toes together, heels and toes. Heels and toes. - Heels and toes. - [Officer] Hands down at your sides. Mr. Rodriguez, any kinda major head injury? - Nothing at all, sir. - Nothing like that. You're pretty healthy? Yes, sir. - [Officer] Any problems walking, balancing or turning? - Nothing at all. - Very healthy? - Very healthy, extremely. - [Officer] Can you walk fine in those nice, what are those, what are those, Adidas? - Adidas sir. - I like Adidas. - I got in there, I got work boots, yeah. - [Officer] Okay, gotcha, gotcha. See this finger right here? - Yes sir. - [Officer] Do me a favor. Follow my fingertip with your eyes, eyes only, and don't move your head. My hand's gonna move from your left to your right- - Go ahead, sir. - Multiple times. - I got you. - Here we go. - Nothing. - Okay, ready? Ready, here we go. - Go ahead. Is there anything else? - Yeah, well there is. Like, just follow my finger. - I just did. - I know, I know. - I'm sorry. - [Officer] But I'll actually tell you when we're done. - Oh, I'm so sorry. - It's okay, it's okay. - I followed it, I was like- - Here we go. I know, here we go. - Anything else? - [Officer] Just follow the whole time. I'll tell you when we're done, okay? - After a failed first attempt, the man started firing off odd questions and making weird comments, because nothing says, "I'm fine officer," like a one-man circus act in the middle of a traffic stop. - Why do you have a dot in your fingers, sir? - [Officer] So you can stare at it, makes it easier. - I got, I think it's easy, you know? But I felt like you got a puncture wound or something. - I hope not. - (sighing) Okay. - [Officer] Okay, now I'm gonna go up and down. Same thing, don't move your head. Here we go. Okay Mr. Rodriguez, two more quick tests and we'll get you on your way, possibly. - Well, I'd love to. - Okay, gotcha. - I don't mind at all. - So you say you had one beer three hours ago? No sorry, yeah. - Four hours ago. - Four hours ago, okay. And you think it's 10 o'clock right now, roughly? Okay, come with me, come with me. See that line right there? - Yeah. - Think it's pretty straight? - Very straight. - [Officer] Okay do me a favor, stand on that line. - Okay. - Okay, and once again, I've already asked you if you had a problem walking, balancing or turning, you told me no. - Yeah. - Okay? So do me a favor, on that line, place your left foot just like this. - [Irvyng] Your left foot just like that? - Your left foot, not mine. - I know. - Okay, gotcha. - That's what I'm trying, to get you. - [Officer] Okay, so now place your right foot in front of your left, touching heel to toe like I'm doing. - I'm sorry, but look, but look, check this out. - What's that? - You literally said, "Your left foot," when I was over here. - Okay, gotcha. - If you wanted me to be up front- - I want you to be up front. - You would've said, look at my eyes, left foot and then right foot. - [Officer] Right there, don't move, perfect, perfect. - Yes. - You got it, boss. You've got it, hands at your sides. Okay, do not move from that position until I tell you to. Sir, you and I are in the same position. When I tell you to begin, and only when I tell you begin, you will take a series of nine heel toe steps down that line. - Ready? - [Officer] No, no, no, no. Not yet, watch me, don't- - Sorry. - Watch me, just like this - One, two- - No, no, no, no. I get you, I get you. - Three, hold on. I have to explain and demonstrate. Okay sir, I took three, you'll take nine. Once you take nine steps, you'll make a turn. - Whenever you're ready. - Okay, watch how I turn. Keep your front foot planted with your back foot. Bring it around, take a series of small steps- - Whenever you're ready- - Gotcha. - Go ahead and let me know. - I will. Get back in that position. - Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I thought you were asking me to- - [Officer] No, so Mr. Rodriguez, do you understand the turning process? - Now I do. I honestly thought that you were asking me, like to do it earlier. - Not yet. So Mr. Rodriguez, after you turn, you're take nine more heel toe steps down that same line. Just like this. - Ready? - No, not yet. Also, once you start this test, don't stop it until you've completed it, and don't forget to touch heel to toe any, questions? - Okay, no, no, no. As long as you understand that- - Oh, I understand. - Whenever you told me- - Do you understand? - To do it now. - Okay, do you understand? - Yeah, now I do. - [Officer] Okay Mr. Rodriguez, next step's one. - One, two, three, four, five- - Tough line. - Six, seven, eight, nine, 10. I'm sorry, I did 10. - You did. - Nine, do you want me to do it back? - Yes. - Okay. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. - Gotcha, okay. Do me a favor, turn and face me, hands at your sides. - About face. - About face, there we go. Just like in the military. Okay, Mr. Rodriguez? - Yes sir. - [Officer] This next test is called the one-leg stand, okay? - I'm sorry, sir. Like I hate this, I hate to bug you. - Don't bug me, go ahead. - You know what I mean? Like, I've been doing this, I'm in the military. You know what I mean? Like I hate to bug you. - Okay, well tell me. - You know what I mean? - You won't bug me. - But I can't do this. - [Officer] You can. - I don't wanna waste your time. - [Officer] Here we go. - I have not been incriminated into nothing. - Correct, you haven't. - And I've been trying to be super helpful to you- - And you have been. - And you know why, you know why? Because I don't have my gun on me, because it's super legal for me to have my gun on me. - It is. - And I will show you it all day. - Okay. - I don't have it in my car. - That's good. - And you can check it. - That's good. I don't need to check it. - Or on me. - Okay, so Mr. Rodriguez- - I've been super nice. No, at this point- - [Officer] Why you getting mad at me, Mr. Rodriguez? - No, because I've been helping and working with you. - [Officer] Okay, we have one more test. To get you on your way possibly. - You can do this all day. - Okay, here we go. - And I will do this. - Okay, Mr. Rodriguez. - Go ahead. - Right? Listen. I will try to hurry. So sir, when I tell you to begin, you will raise the leg of your choice, your left or your right, about six inches parallel to the ground, which means level. Watch me, don't start yet, no, no. - Okay. - Let me show you. Just watch me. Sir, but right as I said. What I'm gonna do I, I'm gonna raise my left leg. Don't start yet, my left leg, so it's in, my toe is pointed, my foot's about six inches parallel, which means level, my hands are at my sides. Once your foot is raised, you'll count like this. 1001, 1002, 1003, 1004, 1005. Just keep on counting, until I tell you to stop counting. - No, no. - What do you mean? - I can do it till 1000, whatever the hell you want. - Okay. - But if you ask me to say whenever you want, no. How about you follow me into my house. No, because at this point, I genuinely feel like you're looking for a reason- - [Officer] I'm not, it's part of the test, sir. - To do, no, no, because I, (groaning) I hate to do this. I pay my taxes. - There we go. - And you know what? - You gonna do the whole taxes speech for me, guy? Come on. - no, no, no, no, no. - Come on. - No. I don't wanna do this, man. - Well, then don't. - I don't want, okay well then check this out. - [Officer] Do you wanna do that test, or not. - No, because at this point, I feel like I've already done everything else, you know? - Okay, I can't make you. - You know, and look. At this point I really- - Let's come over here and talk, let's come over here and talk. - No, no, no sir. - Mr. Rodriguez, right here. Right here. - No, no, no, no, no. (Rodriguez groaning) - Do you know the alphabet? - You're ridiculous. - Do you know the alphabet? Do you know the alphabet? We won't do that test. - Now you got me right here, no I don't have now, no, I don't know my alphabet backwards. - Me neither. - That's ridiculous. - Do you know it forward? - That's some stupid s**t. - Do you know it forward? - A, B, C, D, E, F, G- - Okay here, start at H. - H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P. - Listen, start at H- - Q, R, S- - Stop at R. - T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z. - Start at H. Start at H, stop at R. - No, no, no, no, no, no. You're acting like I can't do something- - You aid you could. - Out of the ordinary. I'm sorry sir. - Start at H, stop at R. - I'm sorry sir, but look. Dude, I pay my damn taxes- - Mr.- - And I'm actually getting annoyed- - You have been pretty- - Because, dude- - [Officer] You have been pretty cool to me. - I get taxed. - The police officer had had enough of his nonsense and decided it was time to cuff him up. Little did he know the saga wasn't over yet. - [Officer] Listen to me, listen to me right now. I'm about to tell you something very important, sir. - Go ahead. - You are under arrest for driving under the influence of intoxicating liquor and/or drugs. (Rodriguez groaning) - Under implied consent, I can require you to submit to a breath test, to determine the alcohol content of your blood. After you take our test, you have the right to choose an additional independent test. If you choose to take this additional independent test, you have the right to a reasonable opportunity to arrange for a physician. - Can I please fix my hands? - Hold on, hold on. Yeah, I'll fix them. Yeah, go ahead. A physician, a licensed nurse, or a laboratory technician or technologist who's employed by a hospital, or a physician of your own choice, to perform an additional chemical test. The cost of this additional test will be paid for by the law enforcement agency, which is us, the New Mexico State Police. Mr. Rodriguez, do you agree to take our test, at which I'm asking for a breath test? - No. - Okay. Mr. Rodriguez. I can't force you to take our test, but if you refuse, you will lose your domestic driver's license, or non-resident auto privilege for one year. - No, what are you- - If you are, if you are convicted in court for driving while under the influence, you may also receive a greater sentence, because you have refused to be tested. - Okay, no. - Furthermore, you are charged with aggravated DWI. - no, no, no, no, no. Okay, what's up dude? No. - So, okay no? - No. - [Officer] Hold on, what's in your mouth? Nothing in your mouth. Okay. - Nothing at all. - Okay, got you. - Look at me. I'm sorry, look. - Okay, it is now- - I promise. I have not doing anything. - 1:37, it's 1:37. - I'm not doing anything, officer. - [Officer] And you don't wanna submit to a breath test, is that right? You don't wanna submit to a breath test? - Alcohol no, it's been more than three hours. - Okay, cool. - I'm sure. - Alcohol in the back seat. - Come over here. - Yeah yeah, those are empty. - Okay, come over here. - [Irvyng] Those are empty, those are empty. - The man was then escorted to the DUI center, still in a state of denial. Initially hesitant, he eventually relented and underwent the test. - [Irvyng] And I'm not trying to stick it to you, but I really stopped drinking, dude. - It'd be terrible if I lied to you and I said I just drank. No, I stopped drinking. (sighing) I'm not moving anything. - That's fine. - Ah, this hurts. (groaning) And I swear, I know there's stupid-a*s people that are like, "Give me my one call," and all this stupid s**t, I don't care. I honestly wanna make your life way better. - [Officer] I'll give you your phone here in a while. - [Irvyng] No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that, any of, anything like that. My point was, is that I wanna make your life easier, you know? If we can skip that, then we can just keep moving on or whatever, like I don't care. I'm so sorry, but I didn't do anything in this world. And I don't think it's fair if I take your test because I can, you know what I mean? But at this point, I've already sobered up more than what you would've thought. - Okay. - You know? - [Irvyng] And I already passed them, you know? And I'll do it all over, but I don't think that's fair for you, you know? I've been trying so hard, genuinely, like you saw my license, I have zero points, I do. According to Albuquerque I'm statistically supposed to be an issue, I'm trying to be a success. (sighing) Man. (machine beeping) - [Officer] Okay, so Mr. Rodriguez, right now, right now the machine says please blow until the tone stops. On scene you said no, you didn't wanna blow. - My problem is, I'm not even joking. I'm not even joking, dude. Seriously, I can blow right now, and I will throw up on your machine. - I have the worst- - Okay gotcha, listen. Okay, listen, listen. I can't make you blow. I've already told you the consequences for refusing this test. - Can I do something else? - No. - Anything. - No, just the test. - Anything, I promise. - [Officer] If you smoke, you could do this, do this test. - [Irvyng] Okay, can you do another test? - [Officer] No, you're already under arrest. This is the last test that we need to do, totally up to you. - Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. - If you don't. - I'm genuinely, not joking- - Hang on, hang on. It's gonna time out here pretty soon. - I will throw up. - Okay, got you. - I've tried it. - If you don't blow, it's like blowing up a balloon. If you don't blow, you'll be charged with aggravated DWI, license is gone for a year. You will be revoked for a year. Also, your fines and fees could be more in court. So, lemme know if you wanna blow. - Okay, so let me tell you this right now. What are my two options? - You can blow or not. - Right now I can try, and you know, look, in all reality, I will throw up- - Here we go. - In this situation. - [Officer] Here we go. Well, we have trashcans. - Okay, look, look, look, and then that's it? And then what happens after? - [Officer] And then we'll try to get your jeep out. Take a deep breath and blow. - Okay besides that, after that what happens? - [Officer] We will try to get you home today, in the next few hours. - But look, in case- - It's gonna time out. - I throw up, I'm sorry sir. I just wanna see my options. - Here we go. - Let me do it, let me do it right now. - Here we go. - You think I'm lying to you. - Go ahead. - Ow. - Deep breath and blow. (machine beeping) Keep going, more and more and more, don't stop. Don't stop, thank you. (Irvyng retching) We'll do it, say we'll do it one more time. Just like that. - Hold on. Let me breathe. - Yeah breathe. You gotta breathe, you gotta breathe. - Okay, I'm ready. - Hold on. - I'm ready. - He has to do some stuff first. - I'm sorry sir. Can't they, I'm not even joking. Can I just have someone pick me up after this one? What was that first one? - [Officer] I didn't see, I had it covered. But I'll tell you here in a minute. - Oh my God. - I'll give you a copy of that too. - Don't worry, it's like, okay after that, okay wait a minute. Result, there you go. - No, that's the air blank. That's something totally different. - [Irvyng] Whatever. I don't care, go ahead sir. I'm not even joking, it's been more than four hours. It's been more than four hours. Give it to me sir. - Hold on. - I'm not even joking. - Not yet. Has to do another test. - You know what? - Believe me or not, I don't even care. I'm not gonna get mad at you. I'm not gonna pull this b******t and say, "Oh, it's been more than four hours, you did this." I don't care, I don't care. My birthday's tomorrow. My girlfriend wanted to do something cute for me. Let's just do this. At this point, I don't care. Give me my f*****g ID sir, I pay my f*****g taxes. I do, I really, really do. I really do. Come on, stupid-a*s machine. Come on. - [Officer] Yeah it's slow. Here we go, just like last time. - All right, ready? - And begin. (machine beeping) Oh don't stop, harder. Don't stop, don't stop blowing, don't change it. We're almost done. Almost, almost done, almost done. Oh no, you stopped, no. - Sorry, sorry. Can we start all over? - Take a deep breath and blow. Harder, don't stop. Harder, harder, no. Here, take a deep breath here. One big breath, here we go, harder. Keep going, don't stop. We're almost done. Almost done. Thank you, we're done. - [Irvyng] Oh, thank you sir. - [Officer] There's your breath score right there. - What is that? - .18. - What does that mean? - [Officer] Means you means you were higher than twice the legal limit. - Twice the legal minute? - Twice the legal limit. Wanna stand up? - Oh, f**k. - I'll put you in this, put you in here. I'll get your phone for you. - Oh my gosh. are you joking? - No. Have a seat right, sit here. Actually, actually don't sit down yet, let me- - [Irvyng] Whatever you wanna do. - [Officer] And I'll give you your phone. Have a seat right here. Have a seat right here on the bench. - [Irvyng] You're joking sir, oh my gosh. - The man had a blood alcohol concentration of which was more than twice the legal limit. I'm pretty sure he'll learn the difference between minute and limit, once he sobers up. As for the next woman, she might remain drunk for the next 100 years, judging by how absolutely wasted she was. - [Officer] Can you stand up for me please, Valerie? - [Valerie] I, well you know my knee bad. - You need help standing up? - No. police officers responded to reports of criminal mischief. A woman named Valerie had reported that her house windows had been broken. The police arrived at the scene, only to find the woman in a comically bizarre state. I must commend the officers for maintaining their composure and not bursting into laughter. Was it these ones right here? - [Valerie] Them over there on the bedroom. - On the other side? - On my bedroom. On my bedroom. I ain't going to jail. I wanna leave now, I'm mad now. - Why are you mad? - Because he keep, I just outta jail today, at 2:00. - [Officer] You just got out today? Well, I'm gonna definitely take pictures and stuff, okay? Is is just those windows on your- - Did you see anybody break them? - [Valerie] I heard him. I just got home from Walgreens, you want the prescription? - No, no, you're fine. - You just got home from Walgreens, and then you heard the windows- - [Valerie] And he, as soon as I got in, and went in the back bedroom, he hit the front one first and I went and looked- - It that all- - It's broke. - Is that all fresh right now? - It's fresh. - [Officer] Is that one from tonight too? Okay. - Nick, you know it's fresh. - Okay. I'm just trying to find out. - Can Nick go in your bedroom, and see if he can find a rock? - Go ahead. - Thank you, ma'am. - Go ahead, Nick will know. Nick know I got shot. - [Nick] I'm gonna go around the back and go check your other windows, okay? - You can't go that way. - I'm gonna go- - It's locked, it's locked. - Okay. I said I didn't wanna keep going through your house. - [Valerie] That bastard tore up my whole house, Nick. - [Officer] Valerie, when did these front windows get broken? - When you came the last time. - [Officer] The last time? Okay yeah, I remember that. And then those two on that side are new from today? - [Valerie] Right now. - [Officer] What time did you hear the boom at? - [Valerie] When I just came back from Walgreens, my nephew took me- - Do you remember- - [Valerie] To get my medicine to go to bed. - [Officer] Do you remember what time that was? - [Valerie] If you go in my house and grab the bag, it's there, the time. - [Officer] Was it like, right before you- - When I got in- - Right before you called us? - Right when it happened. - Okay. - [Valerie] I heard the first one, on the first bedroom window. and I ran and I looked, it was broke, so I was trying to find my phone, Nick. Then when I found the phone, he hit the second window and broke it out. - [Officer] You didn't see them though? You just heard it? - I don't wanna see him. - No I meant, you didn't see, you just heard it? - Yeah. - Okay. I just gonna ask these questions, you know? Okay, I gotta ask all of these, all the questions. - [Valerie] Were they broke when you came last time and took a survey? - [Officer] This one was a little broken. - No. - No, not the other- - The new ones. - The other ones were not. No, ma'am. - [Valerie] I'm gonna call my damn insurance company, and see if I can recoup on it. But I'm tired of him tearing up my house. - [Officer] I understand, and we're here to help both of you, okay? - Both of you? - We gotta help everybody. - Did I throw up anything over there? - I hope not. - I never destroyed nothing. - And that's good. We gotta keep it that way, okay? 'Cause I don't wanna see you go back to jail. - Turns out that Valerie had quite a history with law enforcement, due to her feud with her neighbor. According to Valerie, it was her neighbor who smashed her house's windows. But was she telling the truth? - [Valerie] I'm tired of going to jail, Nick. - [Nick] I would be too. - [Valerie] Did you cut my pants legs off? - [Nick] I did cut your pants that one time you were shot. I had to see if there was more bullet holes. and there only the one - Did I cry? - [Nick] You didn't, you took it like a champ, I- - [Valerie] I ain't taking this like no champ. - [Nick] Well, you took a bullet like a champ. - [Valerie] I'm not taking him like no champ. - [Nick] You were taking that such like a champ, I had the time to ask you for your ID. - [Valerie] Oh the champ is done, champ is over. - [Nick] Well look Ms. Valerie, we're here. - I'm She-ro. - We're here for you. - She-ro, She-ro, She-ro, She-ro. Come on 51, if you ain't 51, you better move. I ain't talking to nobody but 51. - [Nick] This is 51 to the rescue. - [Valerie] I'm telling you Nick, Nick you know me. - I do. Yes ma'am. - Man, you know I went a, killer yeah, call it, whatever his name is. He rolled to me, to be in front. - That was called in- - And I have been through so much in the last 12 months. - [Nick] Well you're strong, you can get through it. - I'm very strong. - You are. - [Valerie] And I'm not, why is he tearing up my house? - [Nick] Well, we're here to figure that out, okay? You gotta let us do our job, and we'll figure it out, okay? But they're gonna come check you out, okay? Because you took that fall pretty hard, and it looked like you hit your face when you went down, 'cause you had sand on your face. - [Valerie] I'm still eating sand in my teeth. - How you doing ma'am? - She came through like- - I'm good. - That pretty hard. She just fell flat- - Flat? - [Nick] Through the bushes, just flat, face and everything. So we just wanna make sure she's okay. Ms. Valerie, can you answer these gentlemen's questions so that they can check you out? 'Cause they got things they gotta do too, okay? - [EMT] Just answer some questions, and we'll get going, okay? Appreciate it. We can we check your vitals? - No. - [EMT] Can we take your blood pressure? - [Valerie] No. - Valerie frequently harassed her neighbor, and filed false police reports. However, whenever the neighbor produced video evidence, it revealed Valerie destroying her own property. Her tendency for heavy drinking appeared to escalate these incidents. This particular saga unfolded on her first night back home after a three-month stint in jail. - [Neighbor] You gotta understand, being in my situation, you wouldn't this all, kinda s****y neighbor like this, calling all the time on you? This wouldn't piss you off? - [Officer] You call on her plenty of times, too. - [Neighbor] Yes, and for what reason? 'Cause I have full evidence of her breaking my s**t. And we have actually, I have court for the damages to the vehicle, mine are legit. I have, every time you guys have put her in jail, because I had real f*****g reason. She had s**t, besides false accusations. Every time, you know it, everyone knows it. Okay, we're talking about, we have the video. That's all it is. - All right. - This is my house, this is my property. I don't have to go in. If I wanna sleep here, I- - Valerie, Valerie. - How's it going? - Everybody's responsible for their own actions, okay? All I want- - I didn't do nothing to nobody. - Listen to me, Valerie. Everybody's responsible for their own actions. If you would do me a kind favor, and do everything within your power to have a peaceful evening. - Come here to me, pick me up. - Help yourself up, Valerie. The firemen who were fully outfitted in personal protective here gave you the opportunity to help you up, and chose otherwise. We're not gonna be messing around. - [Valerie] Oh my knees. - The firemen were right there, offered to pick you up. - [Valerie] I get up, leave me alone. - Okay. - Have a nice night, Valerie. - [Valerie] Ain't nothing gonna be done. - I'm taking a report. - He's taking a report. - A report of what? - The broken windows. - [Valerie] Nothing. - [Officer] This time I would suggest opening the door. - I will. - Okay. - I'm 60, I'm not 30. - Okay. - [Officer] This is the report number, Valerie. - Drop it right here. - Okay. - Right there. - Valerie. - What? - Show me that you can stand up. - I will. - Valerie. - Valerie, can you just go inside please? So that we can roll out, and you don't have to worry about it? - There's nobody else here at the house to take care of you. - [Valerie] I don't need nobody. - [Officer] You just fell through a door. Normal people don't fall door through a door. - It's my door. - Yeah, it's your door, what- - I'm mad. - You fell through it. No, not out of anger, you fell through it. Normal people don't fall through doors. That's the first thing time I've seen that in my entire 24-year career. You cannot sit- - Can I have a minute? - [Officer] No, you've had 10. If you can't do it, we gotta take you to jail on a Marchman, because there's nobody here to take care of you. - [Officer] Can you get up please, so I don't have to do that? - [Officer] Valerie, you have decisions, you have choices. - [Officer] I want you to be able to sleep in your own bed, okay? - There we go. - Nick, you know my leg is bad. - I know. - Nobody can help me. - [Officer] Just, you gotta step up with the other one, okay? - Right. - Can you do it please? We have to visually see it's- - Can I sit right out there, and help up? - [Officer] No, we gotta get you inside, okay? I'm gonna help you inside. You ready? - Yes. - One, two, three. There you go. - You walk. - [Officer] Watch your step. - While Valerie didn't get arrested today, it's difficult to say for certain that she wouldn't repeat these actions. Would you want a neighbor like her? I certainly wouldn't. - These cases are just the beginning of the unbelievable things that law enforcement see every day. If you'd like to see more, check out our other videos here. Also be sure to like our video and subscribe to our channel for more body cam footage, and educational insights from Detective Dale. And as always, stay safe out there.