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policeman
a policeman is a composite of what all
men are
mingling of saint and sinner dust and
deity
called statistics wave the fan over the
stinkers
underscore instances of dishonesty and
brutality
because they are news
what they really mean to say is they are
exceptional
unusual and not commonplace
buried under the frost of fact less than
one half of one percent of policemen
misfit the uniform that's a better
average than you'll find among clergy
what is a policeman made of he
of all men is once the most needed
and most unwanted he's a strangely
nameless creature who is sir to his face
and fuzz behind his back
he must be a diplomat that can settle
differences between
individuals so that each will think he
won
but if the policeman is neat he's
conceited
if he's careless he's a bum if he's
pleasant he's flirting
if he's not he's a grouch
he must make instant decisions which
would require
months for a lawyer to make but if he
hurries he's careless
if he's deliberate he's lazy he must be
first to an accident and infallible with
his diagnosis
he must be able to start breathing stop
bleeding tie
splints and above all be sure the victim
goes home without a
limp or expect to be sued
the police officer must know every gun
draw on the run and
hit where it doesn't hurt
he must be able to whip two men twice
his size and half his age without
damaging his uniform
and without being brutal
if you hit him he's a coward if he hits
you
he's a bully a policeman
must know everything and not tell
he must know where all the sin is and
not partake
a policeman must from a single strand of
hair
be able to describe the crime the weapon
the criminal
and tell you where he's hiding but if he
catches the criminal
he's lucky if he doesn't he's a dunce
if he's promoted he has political poll
if he doesn't he's a dollard the
policeman must chase avery bum lead to
its dead end
stake out ten nights and tag one witness
who saw it happen
but refuses to remember
a policeman must be a minister a social
worker
a diplomat a tough guy and
a gentleman and of course
he'll have to be a genius for he will
have to feed a family
on a policeman's salary
you

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